The Great RV Rollabout

Happiness is a journey, not a destination. But the destinations can be pretty cool.

The Great RV Rollabout is about a journey punctuated by the little surprises that only a life lived unplanned can bring, by beautiful sights, wonderful new friends, wacky adventures, and by goofy roadside attractions (also known as Cheezy Americana). (Got time to kill? Read How The Great RV Rollabout Began.)

The Bucket List

• The Largest Ball of Twine (one of two states)
• The Largest Frying Pan (one of six states)
• National Naval Aviation Museum, Pensacola, FL
  
• USS Alabama, Mobile, AL
• Biloxi, MS
• New Orleans, LA
• Get married on beach/island
• Live on an (my) island
• Visit the house where I was born in New Jersey (Yup, I was born at home.)
• Insectopolis (NJ)
• The Smithsonian (DC)
• Waylon Jennings Museum and Liquor Store in Littlefield, TX (suggested by Shakey Pete)
• Four Corners Monument (UT/AZ/CO/NM)
• Ride through the Royal Gorge in southern CO (suggested by Todd E.)

 

About My Co-pilots, the Kitties…

I was adopted by a kitten on September 23rd, 2012. I named her Pyewacket. I’ve decided her birthday is March 23. She is a handful and a half.

*After 18 wonderful years together Checkers, my World’s Best Companion and RV copilot, passed on in July, 2012 just as we got to Texas Hill Country. I miss her terribly. She’s buried at a wonderful park in Texas Hill Country thanks to some very kind Rangers. Texans are good people.

Where in the world is Kernut the Blond?

Wyoming, and Montana (May/June, 2017? – August/September, 2017?)

Might drive: Louisiana, Texas, Oklahoma, Nebraska, Colorado, Wyoming, Montana…

Florida, Alabama, Mississippi (October, 2016 – April, 2017?)

Things I plan to see and do:

• Florida sunsets are amazing! (post coming soon)
• National Naval Aviation Museum, Pensacola, FL
  
• Lady in the Lake, Elberta, AL
• Bamahenge, Elberta, AL
• Hermit Hut of Tolstoy, Fairhope, AL
• USS Alabama, Mobile, AL
• Casinos, Biloxi, MS
• New Orleans, LA

 

Drove: In the first week of October, 2016, I drove about 1,200 miles and through nine states: Pennsylvania-Maryland-West Virginia-Virginia-North Carolina-South Carolina-Georgia-Alabama-Florida adding four new states to my travel map!

• I stopped at Cumming First in Cumming, Georgia. (If only my name was Georgia.)

 

Pennsylvania, Maryland, Delaware (March, 2016 – October, 2016)

• Seven-Foot Knoll Lighthouse in Baltimore, MD
• Historic ships in the Baltimore harbor: A meeting of two bloggers
• Top of the World Observation Tower in Baltimore, MD
  
• Aquarium in Baltimore, MD
• Bethany Beach, DE – Date with a rich guy who was all over me like a cheap suit.
• Gnome Homes in Pennsylvania
• Fuhgeddaboudit – New York, for a minute.

 

Drove: North Texas-Oklahoma-Missouri-Illinois-Indiana-Ohio-West Virginia-Pennsylvania adding five new states to my map!

Create Your Own Visited States Map

North and East Texas (December, 2015 – March, 2016)

• Best. Sunsets. Ever. in Greenville
• Giant Spurs in Whitesboro, Giant Brick Chess Pieces in Gainesville, Giant Chess Set in Giddings

 

Pennsylvania, for a minute again (December, 2015 – January, 201)

• A Midnight Kiss in Hershey – New Year’s Eve 
• Cabela’s – Like a cool zoo, but of dead things. There was a cute butt, too.
• Choo Choo Barn massive miniature train village in Strasburg
• Roadside America miniature train village in Shartlesville
• The Mutter Museum in Philadelphia – A long standing Bucket List item. It was far more gross than I anticipated.

 

Texas and Oklahoma Panhandles, and Kansas for a minute (November, 2015)

• A town named Hooker, in an area called No Man’s Land (Conflicting interests, or clever marketing ploy?)
• The Cadillac Ranch aka The Cadillac Grave Yard – was on bucket list for decades!
• Dorothy’s House in Liberal, Kansas
• Working in the panhandles – But Where Are You FROM?
• I realized Pye didn’t want to leave her home state when SHE LOCKED ME OUT OF THE RV
• Wait, what?! I finally left Texas – but it took me 13 hours to go 2 1/2 hours away.

 

North Central Texas Hill Country, (May, 2015 – November, 2015)

• Randomness Around Texas (a small collection of photos that had little or no backstory, other than a short skirt on a windy day)
• Metal Dream-Man Catcher, err I mean, Giant Dream Catcher and Metal Men
• The Empty Cross in Kerrville
• Museum of Western Art in Kerrville
• Kerrville Chalk Festival and Chef David “Bully” Page
• A Rough Day at Rough Canyon, or Does This Look Broken?
• A Giant Ant sculpture at a ranch named Meanwhile
• A Tiny Church in Ingram and other stuff
• The Texas floods are following me in Gonna Bang You Like a Screen Door Blowing in a Hurricane
• The World’s Largest Gingerbread Cartman, err I mean Cookie, in Smithville
• Cibolo Nature Center in Beautiful Boerne
• Barney Smith’s AWESOME Toilet Seat Art Museum in San Antonio

 

Pennsylvania and Maryland (May, 2015)

• Valley Forge – I went to see famous old stuff.  It was my friend’s idea.
• Going Down in Pennsylvania: Indian Echo Caverns
• The Duck Decoy Museum in some really hard-to-pronounce town in Maryland
• Horny Pennsylvania: Intercourse, Blue Ball, Bird-in-Hand, Paradise, Fertility (Bucket List items!)
• Giant Amish statues with bare feet and Amish tour (replica house and schoolhouse)
• Amish Country – An Introduction

 

All Around South Central Texas Hill Country, (August, 2014 – May, 2015)

Back in another part of South Central Texas, still part of the Eagle Ford Shale. And it still smells like hydrogen sulfide at times.

• A farewell to the cows, and fancy courthouse of Lockhart
• Quintessential Texas Hill Country: An episode of Tales From the RV Park
• Giant Boot in Bastrop
• Painted Pump Jacks and other oilfield stuff in Luling
• Giant Jackalope and Pioneer Town in Wimberley
• A Town Called Oatmeal and a Dinosaur in Bertram
• Giant Squirrel #2 in Sinton (near the coast)

 

Oklahoma for a minute, (Christmas, December, 2014)

• Largest Casino in the US: WinStar in Oklahoma

 

All Around South Central Texas, (April, 2013 – December, 2014)

Back in South Central Texas, I notice there are still lots of cows. About 100 cows to every human. Don’t even get me started on the chickens.

• World’s Largest Metal Stag Sculpture in Converse,
• A Big Dime in and a Giant Mailbox in Dime Box,
• The Creek Dun Rose in Gonzales,
• Scrap Metal Art in Beeville,
• Giant Armadillo at Flea Market terrifies fleas,
• Giant Beaver with Big Wood (it’s probably not what you think) in New Braunfels,
• Snake Farm in New Braunfels,
• Giant Squirrel statue in Cedar Park,
• Giant Crab in Rockport,
• Two-headed goat and shrunken head, and 400 bells in Bandera,
• Dressed Fleas in Bandera
• Stonehenge II and Easter Island Heads in Ingram

 

Capitola, California for a minute, (Thanksgiving, November, 2013)

• World’s Largest Strawberry Tart in Capitola, CA

 

Quick trip to South Dakota, Iowa, and Minnesota, (April, 2013)

• Statue of David in Sioux Falls, SD in “I see but crack…”,
• Very tiny church in Luverne, MN,
• Large Peace Pipe in (wait for it) Pipestone, MN,
• Snow. I saw lots of snow.
• Oh, and TSA touched my “happy place” at the Sioux Falls, SD, airport.

 

Trip: Rockport, Texas to Texas Hill Country, (June 30, 2012 – April, 2013)

There are cows in Texas Hill Country, a lot of cows. About 10 to every human. And probably 1,000 chickens to every human. I am not making this up.

• Ranchers cut the balls off bull calves in Seguin,
• Hot cowboys making hay bales in Seguin,
• Chicken farms smell like money and ammonia in Gonzales,
• Smiley-faced Water Towers in Bastrop,
• Chocolate covered bacon is like sex (Houston Rodeo),
• World’s Smallest Church in Warrenton,
• Cinderella’s Coach in La Grange,
• Smiley-faced water towers in Bastrop,
• A Capital Captiol in Austin,
• Big Blue Arachnid Butt in Austin,
• Large longhorns and Giant forks in Austin,
• Kerrville – the ol’ family homestead,
• Braless in Bandera – Cowboy Capitol of the World,
• World’s Largest Nuts in Seguin (Texans have some really big nuts),
• Underground Caverns in New Braunfels,
• Top secret tour of an oil derrick in Cheapside,
• Watermelon Water Tower in Luling,
• Riverwalk and the Tower of Doom the Americas in San Antonio.
• Bonus: In my free time at the park where I workcamped I built a Squirrel Obstacle Course (aka “The Squirrel Enrichment Program”). There is video of the squirrel running through my awesome, homemade obstacle course.

 

Yuma, AZ to Rockport, TX and surrounding Gulf Coast Area, (February 7 – June 30, 2012)

• The Boneyard in historical Tombstone, AZ,
• “The Thing” in Dragoon, AZ,
• The Rex Allen Cowboy Museum in Willcox, AZ.
• Oh, and an ode to the multitude of tumbleweeds I saw along the way.
• The Republic of Texas pulls you in once you get here and it’s hard to leave. Plus, the state is really big so that makes it kinda hard to find your way out.
• Texans are very friendly. Learn the language of Texas before you come.

• The beautiful Rockport, Texas coastal area,
• A few weird and wacky sights around Rockport,
• Fulton Oysterfest,
• Aransas Pass Shrimporee.
• The Nina, Pinta, and the Santa Maria in Corpus Christi, but only the Nina,
• the Giant Shark door in Port Aransas,
• Knot A Clew (it’s a boat, but also a good description of my dating life).

 

Slab City, CA to Yuma, AZ, (January 25 – February 6, 2012)

• I got down in Calipatria, CA,
• The ‘Center of the World’ (yeah, sure) and two blondes in Algodones, Mexico,
• The Bridge to Nowhere (gee, that one hits a bit close to home).

 

Monterey, CA to Slab City, CA, (January 8 – January 24, 2012)

Can’t seem to get away from Slab City, but it is free.

• A Cement Boat in Seaside,
• Fisherman’s Wharf in Monterey,
• A Giant Artichoke in Castroville,
• An old jail and a two-story outhouse in San Juan Bautista
• Giant dinosaurs in Cabazon,
• Salton Sea. All the millions of dead fish
• Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves – some random stuff that happened on the way.

 

Slab City, CA to San Francisco Bay Area, (November 20, 2011 – January 8, 2012)

• Largest Monopoly Board, World’s Longest Garlic Braid, more Giant Animal Statues.

Also, it looks like I’ll have a segment on a TV show that will air in northern California! WOOT! (or not… fame can be so fleeting! LOL)

Lake Havasu, AZ to Salvation Mountain, and Slab City, CA, (October 30 – November 19, 2011)

• The infamous Slab City, and Salvation Mountain,
• Someone died in the hot springs while I was there

 

Sedona, AZ to Lake Havasu, AZ/Quartzsite, AZ, (October 19 – October 30, 2011)

• Seligman, AZ, the birthplace of Route 66,
• Ate at the Roadkill Cafe, and saw “Pandora’s Box” in the men’s room, Seligman, AZ
• Area 66/The Golf Ball House, and other randomness.
• Lake Havasu, see the mini lighthouses around the lake, London Bridge (yes, that actual bridge), and the English Village.
• Met the the naked bookstore owner in Quartzsite,
• Hi Jolly’s Monument in Quartzsite.

 

St. George, UT to Sedona, Arizona, (October 7 – October, 18)

• A vortex in Sedona, Montezuma’s Castle, rocks shaped like snoopy and a large flaccid phallus, the world’s largest Kokopelli,
• Stand On A Corner in Winslow,
• Dinosaur statues, the Wigwam Motel, and other goofy stuff along Route 66.

 

Morgan Hill, CA to St. George, UT, (September 21 – October 7)

• Calico Ghost Town in Barstow, CA,
• Mollie’s Nipple (one of seven ???),
• 100 year old fruitcake in Hurricane, UT,
• 66 year old bacon in Hurricane, UT,
• and Purgatory Correctional Facility in Hurricane, UT,
• Creed’s Castle in St. George, UT,
• The Grand Canyon’s North Rim in AZ.

 

San Diego, CA to Morgan Hill, CA, (August 7 – September 21)

Morgan Hill, CA to San Diego, CA. – My first road trip in the RV!, (August 3-7, 2011)

And why My Knuckles Are Still White.

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