I couldn’t make this up if I tried. Amazon has hookers and drugs for sale!
No lie. AMAZON the online bookstore/everything store – has hookers and drugs listed for sale. And this post is not safe for work because of nudity and pictures of drug use – Thanks for that, Amazon. Now people will have to wait until they get home to read this.
With Father’s Day approaching, I have been searching for a gift for my dad. He isn’t easy to buy for because he buys himself most anything he wants that’s anywhere near the price-range I can afford. However, as you will undoubtedly wonder as you read the rest of this article, I was not planning to get him a hooker or drugs. He is happily married and doesn’t even like prescription drugs, let alone illegal drugs.
So on Amazon.com, I searched for “military equipment and accessories”. He is an avid gun collector, occasional hunter, and lover of all things tactical. (I am grateful he taught me to shoot when I was a young girl.) After an already lengthy search, I was suddenly hopeful that this category would end my long and previously fruitless search.
Let me first explain how I sorted the results: I first sorted by “lowest to highest price”. A bunch crap for one penny came up – clearly those common “click bait ads” made to lure you in to clicking on a product that is actually much more.
So then I sorted by “highest to lowest price” figuring I’d quickly scroll to a suitable price range. And this is what I got…
Important note: The original ads clearly showed everything (faces and vaginas) but I put the black circles over their faces and vaginas. I covered their faces in the event the ladies are not aware of how their photos are being used. I covered the vaginas because showing them was even a bit too graphic for this blog. The breasts, not so much. Feel free to click on the original Amazon links below each photo while these are still for sale to see the original listings and photos.
They are asking for $5,000. The other photos in this ad are of drug use and two other gals in lingerie. A sharp reader asked if they could get her delivered in two days… I’m guessing that’s only if you have Prime.
After finding the first listing, I called Amazon, mostly to gloat. Guess what? THEY DIDN’T BELIEVE ME! The first customer service idiot, who lacked mastery of English, kept insisting I had an ad pop-up. Oh. Hell. No. I spent many years in Silicon Valley and know the f-ing difference, not that a human of average intelligence – and by that I mean any intelligence level above that of the majority of Amazon’s customer service reps – can’t tell the difference between a webpage and a pop-up ad.
I asked for his supervisor – and the first idiot told idiot supervisor that I had an ad pop-up. *shaking my head*
It wasn’t until I insisted he type in the URL I read him that he finally GOT IT. And then there was a lot of time on hold while he rang the alarm bells. When he came back on the line, he had absolutely no answer for how this got through “quality control”. He was actually quite speechless and had no idea what to say to me at all. (During the call a friend came over and we were busy laughing about it and posting on social media.)
My call to Amazon was on Thursday. And then twelve hours later – the AD FOR HOOKERS AND DRUGS WAS STILL THERE! (Yes, I checked on another computer – it was not cached.) After about 15 hours, they finally took down the FIRST AD…
But wait, THERE’S MORE!…
Here are the others I found, all by the same pimp/dealer… err, I mean “Amazon seller”:
But my favorite has to be the review… This is of the blond gal depicted snorting drugs in the ad titled “Cocaine and Hookers”, selling for $2,000…
The review is two stars out of five. Old School writes in his review titled Just stick to weed and rub and tugs, “Was like 90% baking soda and the rest was aspirin. The hookers were toothless. That might be a plus for some, but not in my book. I mean Trixie makes up for personality what she lacks in teeth. She can drink you under the table. But I felt it was a bait and switch.”
Priceless! Again, I couldn’t make this up if I tried.
I also contacted ALL of the major news networks – and it’s been *crickets*! Not ABC, CBS, FOX, or NBC, local or national, have contacted me about this. I have not seen it reported on the news, either.
At the time of this writing (the following Sunday), it’s been almost 72 hours since Amazon and the major networks were first notified – and all but the first “item” are still listed for sale.
It seems to me, considering Amazon’s inability to immediately, or even in a timely manner, take down the listings for hookers and drugs for sale – which are ALL UNDER ONE SELLER – that Amazon is hackable. My thinking is they CAN’T take these all down because it’s an account created by a hacker.
The other possibility is that AMAZON HAS ZERO QUALITY CONTROL.
Both seem equally likely, especially considering the amount of time it took to take down the first ad and the fact that all of the others by this pimp/dealer are still listed. I can’t even imagine how many other similar ads for hookers and drugs are still listed on Amazon.
By now you have probably clicked the links and shared this with your friends (please do share this post on social media!), and are now wondering what gift I got for my dad. I got him a box of our favorite candy, maple sugar candy, and a Mega Millions lottery ticket. Pretty anticlimactic after the hookers and drugs, but these I know he will enjoy.
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