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Kernut the Blond

Kernut the Blond
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Category Archives: Trouble

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Amazon Has Hookers and Drugs For Sale. I am not making this up.

Kernut the Blond Posted on June 9, 2019 by KernutJune 9, 2019
hookers and drugs for sale on Amazon

Amazon has hookers and drugs for sale! I am not making this up.

No lie. AMAZON the online bookstore/everything store – has hookers and drugs listed for sale. And this post is not safe for work because of nudity and pictures of drug use – Thanks for that, Amazon. Now people will have to wait until they get home to read this.

But, wait! There's more...
Posted in A Cuss Word Will Do, Criminal Acts, International Incident, Social Media, Trouble, Weird, WTF? | Tagged Crimes and Misdemeanors, Things That Make you Go Huh, Things You Should Know, Trouble, Umm what?, WTF?

Lightning Crashes – An RV AC unit dies

Kernut the Blond Posted on January 4, 2017 by KernutApril 3, 2017

Lightning Crashes by Live, album Throwing Copper. A great song, one of my favs.

The above referenced song title and lyrics were the first thing I thought of as reality set in: Thunder and lightning storm. Lightning crashes directly overhead. Power flickers, TV screen freezes. The smell of burnt plastic, and of electrically charged air (a rather unique smell).

But, wait! There's more...
Posted in A Cuss Word Will Do, Trouble | Tagged RV Tips, Things You Should Know, Trouble

Gonna bang you like a screen door blowing in a hurricane

Kernut the Blond Posted on November 1, 2015 by KernutNovember 1, 2015
The Colorado River seven feet above flood stage. Forecast says three feet to go.

“Gonna bang you like a screen door blowing in a hurricane.” I laughed so hard when I first heard that! Do you know how long I had to wait for a good storm so I could use that title? Months. MONTHS, I tell you. (If you recall, during the last … But, wait! There’s more…

Posted in Tales From the RV Park, Trouble | Tagged Tales From the RV Park, Texas

I’m trading you two in for good kids!

Kernut the Blond Posted on May 15, 2015 by KernutMay 15, 2015
Interventions: Given by the reasons I drank.

“I’m trading you two in for good kids,” my dad bellowed to Chickenbone and I one summer day long ago after we’d been acting up.

We were shocked. “Trade us in? What do you mean?”, one of us asked.

But, wait! There's more...
Posted in Family, Humor, My Crazy Childhood, Trouble | Tagged Crimes and Misdemeanors, My Parents Wish I Didn't Blog

Tales From the Office: The Spider is Getting Some, and Breaking Bad Blue

Kernut the Blond Posted on November 3, 2014 by KernutNovember 3, 2014

Last we left off, my coworker “Spiderman” found someone to whom he could pimp his spider out for a long weekend in Dallas, was requesting transportation to Dallas for his horny male spider.

You new folks may still not realize I do not make this stuff up. Hang around a while and you’ll see little corners of the world you did not know, or perhaps ever wanted to know, existed. You’re welcome. I consider this a service in line with Public Service Announcements.

But, wait! There's more...
Posted in Jobs I Had, Trouble, When I'm Not Here | Tagged Crazy Jobs I Had, Crimes and Misdemeanors, Tales From the RV Park

Got issues: How can I fix my Norcold RV fridge?

Kernut the Blond Posted on February 21, 2014 by KernutFebruary 26, 2014
The glacier of ice that once occupied my freezer.

Got issues with your Norcold refrigerator? You’re not alone!

My Norcold fridge doesn’t do well in high heat, like the current temperature in south central Texas. I’m hoping you have better solutions than what I’ve tried. Besides, I’m losing interest in the Online Dating Chronicles.

But, wait! There's more...
Posted in RV Lifestyle, Trouble | Tagged RV Tips

While enjoying the rain I learned I live in a sieve.

Kernut the Blond Posted on September 15, 2012 by KernutSeptember 15, 2012
Caulking isn't just for breakfast anymore.

It’s been hot here in central Texas, hotter than a whore on nickle night at the cat house. So when the rains and cool weather came – without terrifying winds – we all enjoyed it immensely. I can’t tell you how wonderful it has been to wear pants and long-sleeved … But, wait! There’s more…

Posted in Gentlemen, RV Lifestyle, Trouble | Tagged My Head Hurts, RV Tips, Things That Make you Go Huh

Martin Sheen Saved My Life (For Reals), Part 2

Kernut the Blond Posted on December 11, 2010 by KernutDecember 14, 2010

When we left off, I had just realized I was being followed by some stranger in a beat-up pickup truck with dark tinted windows. If you missed part one you can read it here: The Time Martin Sheen Saved My Life. Part three (the conclusion) coming soon. Trying to lose … But, wait! There’s more…

Posted in A Cuss Word Will Do, Celebrity Encounters, Life in Malibu, Trouble | Tagged I'm A Lemming, Panic Shmanic, Some People Are Assholes

Cuff Em Danno

Kernut the Blond Posted on September 20, 2010 by KernutDecember 14, 2010

The cop goes to uncuff him, but he can’t find his handcuff key. It’s gone. Totally lost. He asks if I have mine.

Nope. Didn’t expect to be doing the handcuffing on this one. Plus my key was taken away from me. But that’s another story.

So the cop leaves me alone in the apartment with the handcuffed BIG dude. Who could head-butt me to death with one blow. Who is innocent of skipping bail. But not cop-killing.

But, wait! There's more...
Posted in Jobs I Had, Trouble, Who cares | Tagged Crazy Jobs I Had, Who cares

18 With A Fake ID

Kernut the Blond Posted on May 1, 2010 by KernutApril 1, 2016

Me, to the bartender, “I’d like a carafe of Margaritas, salt the rim of the carafe, and stick a straw in it.”

But, wait! There's more...
Posted in My Crazy Childhood, Trouble, Who cares | Tagged Crimes and Misdemeanors, TMI, Trouble

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Recent Posts: RV Travels, Zombies, Random Crap

  • How to Day Trade – It’s not gambling, unless you’re stupid
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  • Amazon Has Hookers and Drugs For Sale. I am not making this up.
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