In light of subsequent events, this saga will henceforth be referred to as Kernut vs. Critters.
I hate glue traps. Have a I mentioned that before? Maybe once or twice?
Shortly after posting Kernut vs. Critters, part 1, I discovered a massive nest built on top of my RV gas tank. It had branches (complete with leaves),
The zombie rat is winning. I first began hearing things “go bump in the night” a few weeks ago: a bump on the underside of the RV, a bump in the front. I wondered what critter had enough body mass to make a thud that reverberated through the chassis. And then Pye started sitting in the well of the drivers seat, where your feet go, staring at the wall that separates the peddles from the engine.
Perpetually Plastered (first introduced here) has done it again.
But let me back up a bit… Perpetually Plastered got his first DUI at 13. Yes, thirteen years old. He wasn’t legally old enough to drive, let alone drink. I learned this when I ran a little background check on him and came across an old newspaper article from his home town. The arresting officer
Saturday morning at 12:45 am, I hear a woman yelling – and she sounds close by, in my yard close by. I get out of bed, look out the curtains covering my door, and turn on the porch light – illuminating the new gal’s bare butt popping a squat (“peeing”, for those of you older or younger than the slang term) in my yard!
In the latest episode of crazy shit Pye does, she stowed away in the chassis/undercarriage of my RV for almost 150 miles and 3.5 hours!
*blond lemming faints*
Friday morning, on my way to meet up with a group of other single RVers, I packed up the RV for the first time in a long time. I was excited to finally be taking the RV on the road. But, like so many things, this packing up made Bipolar Pye nervous. (Last time I moved from one side of the park to the other, she peed on the driver’s seat.)
It’s as I suspected: The creeps came out of the woodwork once I posted photos.
I had my photos up for about 24 hours, but took them down because of the idiot factor. Holy Illiteracy, Batman! I doubt I have the stamina to deal with the creeps, but nothing is more detestable to me than a half-sentence email from someone who didn’t bother to take a moment to read my profile…
and then turned on the faucet… *pthhh pthhhh* Water trickled and sputtered out of the faucet for a couple seconds before stopping altogether.
I tried it again a few minutes later… *pthhh pthhh pthh* Then nothing.
?? Could it be my wrapped pipes froze?
I turned on the hot water heater. My logic behind this: If the wrapped hose and pipes are frozen, I should still be able to get water from the hot water heater, which is inside and independent of the frozen hose outside. I later learned this logic is a tad “blond”.
Bugzilla is no longer afraid of the light. Even worse, Bugzilla is no longer afraid of me.
He scurries back and forth across the front edge of the counter, as if marking out his territory. Meanwhile, I stand stock still, trying to decide how to try and kill him this time. I’m standing there watching his every move, mentally recounting the many unsuccessful methods I’d previously employed to try end his scurrying life.