Zombies, RV Life, and Random Craziness
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By Kernut, on July 29th, 2012% 
A while back I wrote Ten Things: Ten Reasons Dating Sucks.
Because of my mixed feelings about dating vs. remaining single, I now have ten more reasons dating sucks. And because I’m apparently a glutton for punishment.
I’m on the “Single” side right now. Rather wary of the opposite sex at the moment.
MamaSteph, in her article Men… Ugh…, put it better than I ever could have…
I am not at all a stupid person, in fact, I like to think of myself as rather smart, but on occasion I do some very stupid things, most of which involve men. I love men, everything about them, wide shoulders, hairy chests, deep voices, big hands, the way they smell… anyway, where was I? Oh yes, for a relatively smart girl I have made some bad choices in men, bad choices, like if stupidity was a crime I would be a lifer with no parole. If I walk into a room with 100 men the ones who hone in on me first are the most unstable, I will then pick the worst one of them to date, it’s a character flaw.
I feel a kindred spirit to this woman, a complete stranger. But she knows me and I know her. Like her, I, too, am not desperate for a relationship, I am single by choice. However, I would welcome the opportunity to share my life and adventures with the right man. Emphasis on RIGHT.
If you don’t share this story, zombies will get you. (Just . . . → But wait, there’s more! : Ten Things: Ten More Reasons Dating REALLY Sucks
By Kernut, on December 7th, 2011% Mostly, I get wonderful, sweet and praising emails from you folks. I save them all.
Sometimes the BS I get in my inbox requires a special rant. This is one of those times.
Let's Play Carpenter… or not.
As the Match.com Dating Chronicles and Dating Exiled Royalty attest, my love life has been nothing if not interesting. Dating still seems to me one of the strangest activities. It’s like a prolonged interview, and you don’t really know if there’s even a job for you.
Needless to say, my experiences, especially those with Match.com, have left me leery of dating in general. Most especially of internet dating in particular.
While I do get asked out fairly regularly, it takes a special person and a special request to get a “yes” out of me. In the last two weeks I’ve received several requests over the internet for a date, or a general indication of interest. A couple are worthy of a “Yes”, but we’ll discuss those in the next post.
Would-be suitors take note: Included herein are the don’ts of asking for a date. There are ways to ask a lady out to get a “yes”, and ways to be assured you’re turned down. If you want a quick hookup, just go to the bar and don’t waste her (read: my) time.
Like this article recommends, calling someone over the phone is much better than asking for a date over the internet or, Heaven forbid, via text. If I don’t know you, emailing is appropriate while . . . → But wait, there’s more! : How Not to Ask Me For a Date
By Kernut, on April 22nd, 2011% After spending a couple hours getting to know each other, I was ready.
Really ready.
I’ve waited a long time for this moment.
Too long.
Taking my time, I slowly warmed her up. Pushing all the right buttons, her fine motor began purring beneath me. I wrapped my hands around her, slowly stroking her, discovering the feel of her, getting to know her better.
She had unexpected strength and power, but she gave over full control to me, completely trusting me. Not one to hold back, she gave me as much as I wanted, as much as I could take.
I wanted all of her, and I was ready to take her to the next level.
With her sweet motor purring beneath me, I
If you don’t share this story, zombies will get you. (Just a . . . → But wait, there’s more! : The Best Date I’ve Had Since I Joined Match.com
By Kernut, on February 9th, 2011% Yes, I did. I joined Match.com. Again.
I’m not well. I blame the cold medicine that got me to join the Booty Camp to which I’m now addicted. Those two things are related. No, I don’t know how.
It’s been about seven years and I’d forgotten about this part: I’ve got more Match.com emails and winks than I can respond to. There are many sweet guys on there who’ve written me. It’s really nice. And about time I got some interested attention from an emotionally available man. At least I think they’re emotionally available.
I know it’s only because I’m the “fresh meat” on the market that I’m getting all this attention and it will level out soon, but Holy Horny Ones Batman! I feel such pressure to respond.
Thank you to those of you who suggested I email that guy who caught my eye. He’s already responded FOUR times to my one. I think he likes me. Or he’s desperate. Huh.
Some of you, ok ONE of you, expressed an interest in the details of my profile. (The rest of you are under no obligation to keep reading.) Here’s a snippet…
I’m on cold medicine in this picture.
(I couldn’t decide on an opening line, so I chose both. I’m like that with restaurant menus, too.)
If you don’t share this story, zombies will get you. (Just a . . . → But wait, there’s more! : I joined Match.com. Again. I blame the cold medicine.
By Kernut, on February 7th, 2011% 
That’s the rule. There is only room for one special needs person in a relationship. In case you haven’t been here long, I’m it.
Uhh, I sure hope my matches are better than this. Now I’m scared. What was I thinking? Why am I doing this again? Oh yeah, to find a pigeon. Crap.
For all the self-help books I’ve read, group quasi-therapy, and blogging, apparently it’s still me.
I’m considering joining Match.com again and thought I should probably add to my dating profile a statement that aptly describes me. I suspect I might have tendencies towards childishness, emotional sensitivity, or grandiose behavior.
Well, DUH. I blog, don’t I?
I think that alone proves I’m probably emotionally sensitive.
Or could blogging make one emotionally sensitive?
Chicken. Egg. Don’t much care which came first.
So then, what does all this mean? It means I’m the special needs person in a relationship.
Also, this precludes attendance by anyone fitting the following descriptions. Do not reply to my ad if you can be described as:
The emotionally unavailable: Serial daters, those looking for a quick hookup, men half my age. Enough said. Those trying to reclaim their misspent youth with a motorcycle. I do love a good Harley, but seriously? We’re not a match; I want to live. On second thought, Harleys are awfully hot. I might make an exception. Again. Crap. If you don’t share this story, zombies will get you. (Just a . . . → But wait, there’s more! : Relationship Rules: I’m The Special Needs Person In A Relationship
By Kernut, on July 3rd, 2010% Wow! I got another award! The Beautiful Blogger Award!
(I think someone saw my photoshopped picture.)
This is from the most sexy Wicked Shawn. Thank you sweetie! *throws kisses*
I like her.
Come to think of it, the other one was from her, too. (If you’re counting, yes that is only two awards. Your point?)
Beautiful Blogger Award – From Wicked Shawn. She likes me.
Here are the rules:
Thank the person who gave you the award. (done) List 7 things about yourself your readers do not know. Award 5 bloggers who you’ve recently discovered. . Seven things you could not care less about have been dying to know about me: If you don’t share this story, zombies will get you. (Just a . . . → But wait, there’s more! : Beautiful Blogger Award For Moi?
By Kernut, on May 23rd, 2010% Here are 5 Dating Tips… 1. Coffee dates are the kiss of death. . . . → But wait, there’s more! : Dating Advice From The Unqualified
By Kernut, on May 20th, 2010% 
Do sexually confident women scare men or is this an attractive quality? Really, I want to know. My sexual confidence and security has intimidated more than a few boyfriends. It’s a running theme. And, sadly, the older and more confident I get, the more I seem to intimidate them. So it’s not like it’s going away and I have no intention of squashing it. . . . → But wait, there’s more! : Sexual Confidence: Can You Handle It?
By Kernut, on March 21st, 2010% FINALLY, after a few rounds of “What’s your favorite fruit loop flavor?” eHarmony reveals the pictures to me. . . . → But wait, there’s more! : Internet Dating FAIL, Part 2
By Kernut, on March 17th, 2010% Oh, it gets better. His face was orange. Yes, ORANGE. He’d used a low-quality tan-in-a-bottle to enhance his pasty skin tone. Unfortunately, BLENDING was not his strong point. Dear readers, he was a rookie at the fake-bake usage. . . . → But wait, there’s more! : Internet Dating FAIL, part 1
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