I went on a date last night. It’s been a while, but not so long that I don’t know what a decent date should be like.
I may not remember what I had for breakfast this morning, but I DO remember, albeit vaguely, what a fun date should be: The warm feels of physical attraction, enjoying an activity with someone, the exciting engagement of like minds, the flutter of joy at meeting someone who has potential to be a significant person in your life, anticipation of what might come.
Fun Fact: In the first week of October I’ve driven through nine states (five of them “never been to before”) and gone 1,200 miles. By the time you read this I will be in the Florida panhandle for the winter. WOOT! The storm isn’t expected near here at all, so things are good. Everyone is on island time – laid-back and relaxed! Setting a meeting or schedule seems to be a foreign concept.
Note: The first part of this post is not funny, at all. In fact, it’s still quite sad for me. But then it gets a bit funny (in a bizarre, dating-sucks way) when I went to Bethany Beach in Delaware, and then it gets hopeful. I have some hilarious (or not) dating escapades to tell you all, and a hopeful solution to my screwy dating life. But before I get to that, I have a confession of sorts to make…
Now I know what I’ve been doing wrong with this online dating thing — besides doing it at all. Two little girls, ages six and nine — YES, 6 and 9, — have summed up in 30 bullet points what I tried to do with several pages of (probably useless because most men aren’t reading it) text.
List of Boyfriend Rules by Blaire (age 6) and Brooke (age 9)
You all are funny, and patient, and kind – and you are the reason I continue to slog through the junk in my online dating inbox. Your comments give me hope and encouragement there just might be a good guy among all the frogs in the online dating arena, and in the real world.
I thought you might enjoy reading a couple more of the less-than-stellar emails I got. These guys did not make it past what you see here, but the interaction makes for decent blog fodder – and as a warning to anyone considering dating again.
I love the look of a man who is a bit stocky, or thick. Big shoulders, strong hairy legs, slightly muscular build – but not too “cut” – and just a little “extra” around the middle. He may not even consider his body looks good. (Many of you have heard me say this before. Sorry. I tend to repeat myself in person, too, so don’t feel alone.)
“The Hunter-Gatherer Principle” is just the name I’ve always called my preference for that look. My sister, on the other hand, prefers the very lean and toned look (and that’s how you would describe her husband). We don’t have a name for her preference, but she doesn’t have a blog so it doesn’t matter.
…As we wait for the brave ones to contact me, I’m going to show you some snakes.
No, no, no! I’m not referring to the “snakes” in the pictures the half-dressed men have sent of themselves. Although, I probably would post them if I didn’t think I’d be breaking some kind of copyright or privacy law.
So the title of this post is not a reference to men and the online dating arena. But I can see how you might have made that connection.
It’s as I suspected: The creeps came out of the woodwork once I posted photos.
I had my photos up for about 24 hours, but took them down because of the idiot factor. Holy Illiteracy, Batman! I doubt I have the stamina to deal with the creeps, but nothing is more detestable to me than a half-sentence email from someone who didn’t bother to take a moment to read my profile…
Oh. My. With my updated profile posted, I’ve been perusing the profiles of available men. Yikes.
This topic was started by my friend Allison, who is also doing the online dating thing. She posted a question on Facebook about the odd photos men use, like posing with fish. This prompted the first part of this post.
I have this advice to offer to men, before asking all of you for help choosing my own profile photos below:
Men, here’s what not to do in your online dating profile photos, and what we think: