Home » Online Dating: After Adding Photos

It’s as I suspected: The creeps came out of the woodwork once I posted photos.

I had my photos up for about 24 hours, but took them down because of the idiot factor. Holy Illiteracy, Batman! I doubt I have the stamina to deal with the creeps, but nothing is more detestable to me than a half-sentence email from someone who didn’t bother to take a moment to read my profile…

A 38 year-old fireman from Hill Country sent “How r u”.

Ah, a literate one. He is also seeking women “18-99”.

And here I thought my fifteen-year dating range was generous.

A 49 year-old from far away, with pics showing off his toys/wealth, “HELLO”.

A 45 year-old, who lives fairly close, looking for someone to have fun with sent, “hi how are you doing today,,im (name).” WTF? Don’t they teach capitalization and punctuation in school anymore??

Holy Crap. There are many more examples like this. These “men”, for lack of a better word, obviously did not read my profile. Equally as obvious: they’re only looking for one thing – and they’re not even willing to put in much effort for that.

The 20-somethings also came out of the woodwork. It’s flattering to know, especially as I start to notice my own wrinkles, cellulite, and sagging skin, that I’m attractive to the younger generation. Unfortunately, I just can’t see having anything long-term with someone to whom I could’ve been their scandalously-young teenage mother.

A 34 year-old, looking for women 28-55 actually wrote a few full sentences in a row, “Hello, how are you doing? Its nice seeing you on here. You are a beautiful lady.”

But he obviously didn’t read  my profile. He’s far outside my age and distance range. And he looks like he’s about 24.

All of these came from one of the three sites I am testing, evow.com, for people who want to get married and are seriously seeking their mate. Apparently there is NO screening process in place and no way to filter emails by age.

The other two sites aren’t much better. On one that does have filters, the guy has to have a photo to contact me. So what do I get? A photo taken from the neck down of a man in his underwear. Apparently he was rather proud of his half-naked I-took-this-in-the-mirror-selfie because he also sent a shot of his face.

No shame. None.

I didn’t need additional confirmation these guys are only looking to get laid as easily as possible, but I got it in the form of an article written by another writer and online dater.

My friend and fellow blogger at Wordjanitor, sent the following article along with the caveat, “In reference to your posts, you GOTTA read this. Hilarious. And, oh yes… Run. Run fast. Drop the keyboard and RUN.”

Writer Alli Reed says it far better than I in her article 4 Things I Learned From the Worst Online Dating Profile Ever.

I got the feeling that a lot of men on that site would message literally any woman who had a profile, but the optimist in me wanted to believe that there was a limit. Maybe there was a woman so awful, so toxic, so irredeemably unlikeable that no one would message her, or if they did, at least they would realize they never, ever wanted to meet her. …

I did not accomplish my goal.

As Alli says in her article, ‘Or I could follow my first instinct as these messages began to roll in, which was to invest in a high-quality chastity belt and start collecting cats.’

Yup, that sounds good. I’m off to a good start with Pye (she’s like two or three cats in one).

Embrace your inner cat lady!

Now, where do I get that chastity belt?

Next up, I take commenter Mike’s advice and create a profile on one of those sex/hookup sites so I can check up on anyone I’m interested in.

UPDATE: So far, there hasn’t been any even worthy of a date and background check. Fear not, there is plenty more: The Hunter-Gatherer Principle, and Oh, my. Well, this explains a lot.


Online Dating: After Adding Photos — 13 Comments

    • LOL You are too sweet to apologize (and I believe it’s not the first time) on behalf of your gender.

      Yes, it is my market – men. Seriously, I think there are great guys out there, but I’m not sure if there are many doing the online dating. I think there are more looking for a little fun on the run.

  1. Thanks for sharing the Wordjanitor link (good grief!); heck, I’d always known that any message I’d send on OkCupid -as a fella- would just be as one of many many pebbles thrown into a lake to be sifted through. But “that fake profile” got 150 messages in 24 hours? Wow!

    • I think you mean the link to Alli Reed’s article rather than Wordjanitor. (Wordjanitor is the blog of my friend who sent the link to Alli Reed’s article.) Sorry, I probably didn’t make that as clear as I could’ve.

      I read every single email I get, but skim the BS two-sentence garbage. I read and reply to all the serious, regular-length emails. The two-sentence ones get trashed. They obviously didn’t bother to read my profile, so why bother to reply?

      Alli Reed’s article says to me that it’s all about the photo. Since taking mine offline, I’ve received nothing. This is ok because I’ve been hanging out with some single RVers.

      • Yes, Alli’s article was the one I was referring to. And yes, there are now apps that show pics of singles near you and you can thumbs up/thumbs down them. They are very popular in urban areas. I guess you can’t get more “all about the photo” than that.

        • Since I’m often in rural areas, I wanted to make a pic profile for a squirrel, a catfish, a deer, a skunk – you know, so some singles would actually be nearby when someone used the thing.

  2. Once again I am so sorry to see that there isn’t anyplace that the pigs haven’t overran in the online dating world. It make me count my blessings that my wife and I stayed together during the times that divorce became a real possibility. As your friend (after sharing so much of your life every week in you blog I truly worry about you) I implore you to at least do an online background check on anyone you meet in person. I have taken time to look on some of the dating sites for country folks, Christians and even older singles. What I found was that at least half are married or have some other attachment. Many have problems that they lie about that would scare off Norman Bates . I also see that the largest share by far are Pigly men looking for innocent victims. Please be careful it is a Jungle out there! The one thing that I would suggest is not to count out men you feel may be too young. From your photos I guessed you were around the same age as my thirty year old daughter. From what you write I am guessing you are a few years older? I was 22 years old when I married my 28 year old wife. Never has our age been a issue during the past thirty one plus years. Of course she is very forgiving and only becomes more beautiful each year. You deserve the best and never forget it!!!

    • Thank you, Trey! 🙂 I appreciate the kind words!

      I’m a bit shocked that there are so many of the creeps online. It seems like there are less in real life, but maybe they’re just more bold behind the computer. (That must be true, because I’m sure these same men sending me half-naked photos don’t go around passing them out to strangers on the street.) Yeah, I hear you on the background check and serious hidden issues. This whole thing is making me consider joining the convent. Too bad I’m not religious.

      Oh, you are so sweet to think I’m around 30! I will confess only to having anniversaries (plural) of my 29th birthday, but yes, I am older. My main blog photo is airbrushed, but the profile ones I posted are all recent. I probably look closer to my age in person because someone guessed it the other day – for the first time in many, many years. *sigh*

      I’m not opposed to dating younger. I did date someone a few years younger than me last year. We’re just in different places in our life. I’ve cultivated a lifestyle of freedom that most people don’t adopt until they retire.

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