What is it with the laziness of men and online dating? Why, after they’ve indicated interest, can’t they email first, or even ask a woman out?
There is one guy with whom I’ve had quite a few emails. I’ve never been excited about him. So little so that I can’t even come up with a good nickname for him. I’m just going to call him Mass Email Guy. Like his name indicates, Mass Email Guy has sent me a gazillion emails, sometimes four in a row, never once asking me out. And, just as bad, rarely asking me anything about myself.
I’m officially bored. We’re done. NEXT!
Remember I Don’t Know My Age Guy (his profile said 43, but he claimed to be 49 in his email to me, said he’d made a mistake)? He wrote back:
Hi (“Not holding my breath Gal”),
I assure you that its nothing. Creepy :-). I think that it had something to do with of setting it up with my phone and no reading glasses!
You are definitely going to be traveling into some nice weather down here.
(I Don’t Know My Age Guy)
After telling him I’d be in his area in a couple weeks, that’s all he says? Huh. Okaaay.
I wrote back, and this time specifically said I’d be visiting King Ranch (supposedly near him), and asked if he’d ever seen it. (That’s a leading invitation, if I ever heard one.) I also asked what his plans were for the Stooperbowl, and told him mine. I get this back…
Hanging with work friends for game
Definitely great weather when you get here
I live in the next town over from (a place much closer to where I’ll be, and NOT the major city he said he lived in, which is an hour from that location).
No mention of King Ranch. No “Would you like to meet up when you’re in the area?” Nothing. I didn’t reply, not that there was much to reply to.
And now his profile is gone. Perhaps he did decide to redo it as he previously said, and make one with the correct age. Perhaps the dating site caught on or someone turned him in, and the site deleted him. So far, though, I’ve heard nothing. I suspect it would’ve been the same either way.
I’m seriously beginning to conclude many of these guys have girlfriends, wives, or, as Patti suspects, they’re batting for both teams. (I’m not so sure that last year I didn’t briefly date a guy who was batting for both teams, on the “DL” as they say. It sure would explain a lot.)
Patti Sanger, of Millionaire Matchmaker, says today’s problem when it comes to dating is that women and men have, uhh, switched genitals. (She doesn’t put it quite that delicately. The excerpts below are the “tamer” ones, and marginally not safe for work if your boss reads over your shoulder…)
Men are soft. Unwilling to make a decision. To approach them. Too many men are playing ‘the game’. Passive. Not calling or texting for three days. Leaving women to guess if they’re interested. No coming on strong. No sex until the fifth date.
This seems to explain why the men who indicate they’re interested in me don’t follow through and make a move. Or why they instead write emails forever. Ick.
You’re a man. You’re supposed to be strong. In some way. Even if your girl makes more money, has a nicer car… whatever.
Guys, it’s time to lose your vagina!
Grab her. Kiss her. Make her knees buckle. Seduce her. Show her you’re a man!
She has similar advice for women, that we need to be the soft ones:
And girls it’s time to get rid of your penis.
You’re supposed to be soft. Gentle in some way. That doesn’t mean you lose who you are or what you’ve accomplished. But if you want to stop driving men away, show him your feminine side. Let him know you like his masculine side, stop trying to take it away from him.
You’ll start to attract them like bees to honey.
It’s our primal nature.
What she says above about women is why I’m determined to let the man make the first move, to write the first email, to ask for a date or my number first. Men, that’s your job.
Attached to Patti’s article, is a podcast explaining what she thinks is responsible for this switch. (Be forewarned – it is NOT safe for work. Patti gets quite specific, and uses language even I wouldn’t in this semi-secret,
often occasionally tacky blog – and that’s saying something.)