Online Dating: The Hunter-Gatherer Principle
I love the look of a man who is a bit stocky, or thick. Big shoulders, strong hairy legs, slightly muscular build – but not too “cut” – and just a little “extra” around the middle. He may not even consider his body looks good. (Many of you have heard me say this before. Sorry. I tend to repeat myself in person, too, so don’t feel alone.)
“The Hunter-Gatherer Principle” is just the name I’ve always called my preference for that look. My sister, on the other hand, prefers the very lean and toned look (and that’s how you would describe her husband). We don’t have a name for her preference, but she doesn’t have a blog so it doesn’t matter.
Theory behind the Hunter-Gatherer Principle: A man with decent muscles and carrying a little extra weight is probably a good provider. I’m taking a guess here my preference might stem from instincts left over from caveman days when those who could get the most food survived the best, and provided for their family. My subliminal thinking probably goes like this: “Hmm, he’s obviously a successful hunter-gatherer, and would make a good provider.”
That’s not saying I’m looking for my mate to be the sole supporter and take care of me (but I probably wouldn’t turn that down, either – I’m blond, not stupid). I can hunt and gather at the local store just like everyone else. I really don’t care for hunting or fishing, but accept it if that’s what “my guy” likes to do.
Here in Texas (and never even once in California), I am very often asked if I like to fish, or how the fishing is here at the lake. My response is, “I do all my fishing at the grocery store.” I happen to be parked at one of the best fishing holes, so I’m sure that messes with some folks. Just doing my part to save some fishies. Hahaha (Ok, not really that last part. I eat fish, but I just like them ready to go. If you catch ’em and clean ’em, I’ll cook ’em for us.)
Ok, I have detoured enough in this post, so on we go with the latest episode of the Online Dating Chronicles:
There are now eleven mutual “likes” between me and men on the site. (This means we’ve both clicked a button saying we’d like to meet that person.) Yes, most do have that “hunter-gatherer” look. After a week or more on the mutual list, three weeks in some cases, only two men have written to me. One we already covered.
The other email came a few days ago from a great looking guy in a big city at the coast:
Hello,
Liked your profile
You sound like and interesting and adventurous lady.
Wanna talk?BTW…….profile is wrong on my age…….(the site) wont let you correct…..so soon to delete and re write…..I am 49
Hope to hear back,
(signed, but probably a fake name – you know, fake like his age. We’ll call him I-don’t-know-my-age Guy.)
His profile says 43 – that’s a six year jump. Quite a lot to go unnoticed. My reply:
Hi (I-don’t-know-my-age Guy),
How did you get a profile with a wrong age and not notice? That’s kinda funny, or creepy – hard to tell. 😉 LOL
Sure, I’d like to hear back from you when you get the new/corrected profile set up. Just send me an email from it and we’ll go from there. I should be in your area in a couple weeks, so that should be plenty of time to set it up.
(signed with a fake name of my own)
*sigh*
I’ve received a few other emails, but not from mutual likes. One I’m sure was from a fake profile; I didn’t bother to respond. The last was undoubtedly cut-and-paste, so when I wrote back I asked what he liked about my profile, what he thought we had in common.
*crickets*
Two others seemed interesting enough, and actually wrote a real email. I wrote back a nice email, and got more *crickets*. WTH?
Meanwhile, for a local newspaper I got to interview a woman who is turning 100 years old. She is still in great health, has a full head of shiny hair, and all her wits about her. I wanted to know how she did it, and how I could live a long, happy life, too.
She said, “Clean living, plain food, and no drinking.” I had to know if she ate sweets. She does. This was great news. So far, I’m on track with the 100-year-life plan.
She’s very active, volunteers, does crossword puzzles, and plays games with other folks. She lives alone with her cat, and cooks and cleans on her own. I already have the cat. I do puzzles rather than crosswords, but it looks like I’m still on track.
At the end of the interview she told me she hasn’t accepted a date in the 70 years since her marriage ended. She’s been asked out, but just hasn’t accepted – and she is more than fine with that. Huh.
Up until she said that, I was on track with 100-year-life plan. But she may have something with that last one, and mind you, this woman hasn’t even heard of online dating.
Now, where did my cat get to? “Pye! Pye-kitty, where are you?”
Mrs. Tuna is also drawn to men in the husky section. That is why she is married to someone better known as the Big Tuna.
Hello, Ms. Tuna! Say, does the Big Tuna have a similarly-built brother? And would that brother be single and like vivacious, yet quirky, blonds? Oh, no reason, just curious.
” We don’t have a name for her preference, but she doesn’t have a blog so it doesn’t matter.” Lol.. love the sisterly love.
I’m of the opinion that men these days are exceedingly lazy when it comes to courtship and online dating has exaggerated this even more.
As a 30 something year old female, I’ve been dipping my feet into the online dating pool and have had similar experiences with poor grammar and a general lack of common courtesy.
With that said, I can confidently declare… It’s not YOU, it’s THEM!
I’m noticing that “lazy” trend, too. I’ve since heard from a few other men, and all seem to just want to keep writing without taking the next step. I was really hoping this was a fluke that would soon end. My interest level is quickly waning.
And so few seem actually interested in me — they don’t ask me any questions. What’s up with that? I have a male friends, some with whom there might be a mutual attraction, and they ask me questions, and we have a TWO-SIDED conversation.
Pye communicates better than some of these doofs online.
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Sounds like you want a guy who goes after what he wants. Be specific about how you like guys who go for what they want. If they don’t fight for you now will they after you are married? I think not
So true, Rick, so true! Maybe I will change my text to be a bit more direct, and less gentle in the wording.
You know what you want so tell them. The lazy ones will still go for the one night stands and the good one will make an effort
Have you seen my profile? It’s a small novel. LOL (It’s in one of these posts, somewhere near the beginning of the Online Dating Chronicles.)
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