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By Kernut, on July 29th, 2010%
 Not an actual picture.
It’s not always funny.
Believe me, I would much rather be posting something else right now, like the details of one of my tumultuous dating adventures.
You ever have one of those days?
Weeks? Years?
No, me either. And this past week (year? God bless my short memory!) has NOT been one of them.
Ok, not in the last five minutes because I’ve been blogging for the last five minutes and I LIKE blogging.
Yes, it’s taken me five minutes to write the few previous sentences. I’m new, leave me alone.
When I’m Not Here I’ve Been Out Getting Blood Tests
Huh, wha?? Unfortunately, it’s true. Lemme explain…
In the process of changing to a new job, and the expected 90-day gap in insurance coverage, I scheduled my annual physical exam. This includes a blood test taken before the exam. It came back with really high levels of iron and cholesterol. Besides that charming bit of news, I eat very little (it is often organic and green) but I am gaining weight. WTF??!
Usually my doctor is VERY concerned about my cholesterol. The same cholesterol which is now EVEN HIGHER than it was last year.
Again, WTF?!
But this time he didn’t even mention the higher cholesterol. At all. He focused on my ‘enlarged red blood cells‘.
Um, what?
Marcocytosis is the official name. New word of the day.
He told me this could be caused by a few things, the least of which . . . → Read More: UPDATED Sometimes It’s Not Funny
By Kernut, on July 26th, 2010%
Looking for a new pair of shoes? Got a shoe or foot fetish? Got an animal foot fetish? Are you a Dom who needs a gift for your slave?
Let me help you out…
 Chair Shoes? Foot Chair? Do your feet get tired of walking in heels? Here’s the solution!
. Continue reading Got Kinky Shoe Fetish?
By Kernut, on June 15th, 2010%
 Shhh. Be very, very quiet. Some things just aren’t right in the world. A bit like this blog. These things have somehow managed to make it through a worm-hole from an alternate universe. A universe where things are backwards – and ‘backwards’ is acceptable.
But not here on Earth.
Much like BP Exec Tony Hayward ‘wanting his life back’, these things belong on the Planet of This Is Just So Wrong…
First up, I don’t know what the atmosphere is like in the office men’s bathroom, but in the office ladies bathroom it’s. very. quiet. With the rare (rude?) exception, we don’t chat to each other while in different bathroom stalls. We make only the briefest of small talk at the sink. I know you men are all saying “Whaa??, but why then do you gals travel in pairs to the toilet?’. Well gentlemen, the office restroom atmosphere is different than that of the bar or restaurant restroom.
Now that you’re all caught up, on with the thing that is just wrong…
There’s this one gal at my office who feels the need to GRUNT while she’s taking care of bathroom business. You’re not supposed to hear grunting in the ladies room. Ever. This is just an unspoken rule. My mother didn’t tell me this. Yours probably didn’t, either. We just all KNOW girls don’t grunt. She makes no effort to hide it, either. The grunting is very obvious – and quite disconcerting, if you ask me. Fercryingouloud – I have to wonder is she giving birth? Continue reading Some Things Are Just SO WRONG
By Kernut, on April 28th, 2010%
I learned to mix drinks, quite well actually, and we all had a grand time drinking up the liquor cabinet after school. When the booze would run low, Dad would just replace it. Awesome. *hiccup* . . . → Read More: Drinking and Smoking: My Childhood Memories
By Kernut, on March 21st, 2010%
FINALLY, after a few rounds of “What’s your favorite fruit loop flavor?” eHarmony reveals the pictures to me. . . . → Read More: Internet Dating FAIL, Part 2
By Kernut, on March 19th, 2010%
To help brighten up the sterilized sea of cubicles where I work, each holiday we decorate a pass-through/hallway. It helps give the place a little color, and is a good excuse not to be at our desks for 15 minutes. We also include a plate of cookies or bowl of candy related to the holiday.
For St. Patty’s we did the usual: green clovers, pictures of green beer and leprechauns. My cube mate (the quiet male) cut up shapes of Lucky Charms cereal out of colored paper: pink hearts, yellow moons, orange stars, green clovers, blue diamonds, and purple horse shoes. Very creative.
I thought we needed a real box of Lucky Charms cereal to complete the decorations. Mind you, it had been years since I last saw the contents of Lucky Charms.
Besides oddly-shaped (not as described above) “marshmallows”, here’s what was in the box: Continue reading We Interrupt The Regularly Scheduled Post To Bring You: Lucky WTF? Charms
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