Bugzilla’s relative, made an appearance a few weeks ago, but quickly darted to safety behind a drawer. I’ve been cautiously opening drawers ever since. Until today.
Bug Killer Rating (BKR) reaches a new low.
Bug Killer Rating (BKR) definition: The BKR is assessed on a scale of 1 to 10, similarly to the PSR (Primitive Survival Rating) from Naked and Afraid. (Do I actually watch that cheezy show? I don’t know. Maybe. Sometimes. I’m not saying any more. Stop asking me questions.)
A dead cockroach – as it should be.
“American Cockroach 1” by Preiselbeere on de.wikipedia – Own work. Licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0 de via Commons
A few years ago, after she chattered to Bugzilla as if inviting it to play, I thought Checkers was of little help when it came to bug killing. She was given a BKR of 1.5 because, after about ten years of training, she would occasionally chase, slowly torture, and then eat a very small bug. But mostly she’d just pester them until they died.
However, I have reassessed her BKR, essentially doubling it, from a 1.5 to a 3. Why was Checker’s BKR raised when she’s not even here anymore? Because Pye lowered the bar… But, wait! There’s more…
You all know how I endeavor to educate you in some small way, to provide you with some tidbit of
useless useful information that you might share while idly standing at the office water cooler. While this one isn’t as interesting as say, the time we all learned about Spider Prostitution, it is worthy of sharing with you, and perhaps with your friends and coworkers. However, it does relate in a small way to office attire. Just wait, you’ll see. And you may never be the same. (I haven’t been, but then again this has been “a thing” for many years and, much like spider prostitution, I only learned about it much later in life. It’s likely you are more in touch with the world and already know about this.)
The day I learned about Toe Crack, also known as Toe Cleavage.
While standing around with a group of friends and acquaintances, I notice the acquaintance in front of me is staring at me feet. He’s staring hard.
To give you a little background, this is a “business casual/dressy” environment and I’m wearing an unremarkable outfit, common office attire. And a pair of blue suede, closed-toe pumps.
Pye and my blue suede shoes, with toe cleavage. Pye has a shoe fetish.
The guy briefly looks up to my face and promptly declares he loves how my feet look in the shoes.
This was more than your usual, “I like your (shoes/hair/eyes)” comment. He was practically salivating, much like someone who’s just seen an ice cream cone for the first time after months of sweltering hot summer. But, wait! There’s more…
It’s been a year since Pye appeared on my doorstep. A year of learning about relationships, for both of us. Yes, I’m referring to my cat as if she’s a person. If you’re new here, please see the tag line under the title of this blog for the explanation.
We’re going to skip what I’ve learned about relationships this past year or so; I’ll save that for another time. Let’s move on to Pye for now, shall we?
What we’ve all learned about Pye in the last year:
We learned that Pye doesn’t sleep, and keeps me up at night.
We learned Pye likes to drink from my water cup. I don’t like this because I know where her tongue has been.
We learned Pye doesn’t know what to do with a live fish. She likes to think she’s wild, but she’s not. Not even a little.
We learned that Pye will run away in a moment of panic (gee, I have NO idea what that’s like), but will return 30 hours later.
We learned Pye has a foot fetish. Apparently, she has a boot fetish as well. Hey, I like cowboy boots, too, but don’t you think Pye is taking it a bit far?
“Kitteh luv dat boot.” (These photos are crappier than usual because I used my cell phone. YES, that’s my excuse.)
“Mmmm, kitteh fink boot smell gud.”
“Hold meh, Boot. Hold da kitteh. Luv da kitteh.”
I have a “no shoes on in the RV” kind of carpet. These boots were not next to my bed. Not that I wouldn’t mind a pair next to my bed. Just sayin’.
And now we learn: But, wait! There’s more…
The Life of Pye is about a cat.
Well, the movie titled The Life of Pi isn’t entirely about a cat. Ok, the movie isn’t really about a cat at all, it just has a cat in it. Whatever, we can’t be picky.
But this post is about a cat. It’s about the life, so far, of Pyewacket (aka “Pye”), the kitten who
arrived on my doorstep adopted me in September of last year. This was originally going to be one Ten Things post, but she’s done so much goofy stuff I decided to make it a series. Lucky you.
Plus, her one year birthday has just passed. She showed up September 23, 2012 and she was probably around 5 or 6 months old at the time. I’ve decided to make her birthday March 23rd. It’s a rough guess, but she deserves an actual birthday.
A rare moment of calm in February. She’s curled up, upside down, along my side and arm. We’re napping in a black “faux mink” throw blanket.
Here’s some of what’s happened in the last six months… (more posts to follow)
Pye has a foot fetish. No, really – and I’m beginning to get concerned. She loves my stinky shoes. She attacks my feet and ankles almost constantly. Sometimes she licks them, or just puts her own paws on my feet. She likes to do this most by laying behind my feet and placing all her paws on the edge of my foot when I’m trying to cook. But, wait! There’s more…
I thought about you naked.
Then I put some clothes on and thought about you some more.
(Right about now my parents are probably cringing and wishing I didn’t blog.)
To the rest of you I recommend condoms to prevent any blogging children.
(This isn’t a real post, it’s more a bit of emotional release about the holidays, inspired in part by Hiker Mike’s post. I have a real, media-intense post on Slab City coming this week. I promise.)
These are my "Ho Ho Ho" shoes. ahem.
This Christmas was bittersweet for me.
As my regular readers know, more often than not I’m quite content with being single. There are minuses, of course, but overall I enjoy it. (For more specifics, see: Ten Reasons Dating Sucks and Ten Things I Like About Being Single and Ten Things I Don’t.)
But sometimes I really But, wait! There’s more…
Looking for a new pair of shoes? Got a shoe or foot fetish? Got an animal foot fetish? Are you a Dom who needs a gift for your slave?
Let me help you out…
Chair Shoes? Foot Chair?
Do your feet get tired of walking in heels? Here’s the solution!
. But, wait! There’s more…