Remember when I said ‘Texans have big balls‘? Well, they have some really big nuts, too.
But they let me in anyway.
I went to the nuthouse. I know you’re all thinking, “Well, it’s about time!”
No, not as a patient! It was just for a visit thankyouverymuch. Besides, it wasn’t that kind of nuthouse.
But before we get to the nuthouse, I’m going to tell you about the World’s Biggest Nuts. And they’re in Texas, of course.
Seguin, Texas, Home of the World’s Largest Pecan. But which one? There are three and this is the small one.
If you don’t share this story, zombies will get you. (Just a little.) . . . → But wait, there’s more! : Texans have some really big nuts.
Kernut was in Kerrville, Texas. Again.
“Home, home on the range. Where the deer and the antelope play.”
Kerrville, a town of about 22,000 in the northeastern area of Texas Hill Country, is where my grandparents had a small ranch for about 30 years. I was last there when I was twelve – a few decades ago, or 10 years ago. Hard to say, my math isn’t so good. I’m 29, dammit!
Kerrville has grown quite a bit and now includes the ubiquitous WalMart. My grandmother sold the last section of the ranch several years ago, but I decided to drive by and see how it’s changed since I was a kid. When I went by I found a portion of the original property was again for sale.
And guess what? There’s a pyramid in Kerrville, Texas! Like the one in Quartzsite, Arizona, I’m pretty sure the Egyptians didn’t build this one, either.
Entrance to the ranch in Kerville.
I’d totally forgotten about the gate guard pyramid. I think my grandfather built most of it and then the current owners refurbished it.
If you don’t share this story, zombies will get you. (Just a . . . → But wait, there’s more! : Home on the Range – the ol’ family homestead in Kerrville, Texas
I thought about you naked. Then I put some clothes on and thought about you some more.
(Right about now my parents are probably cringing and wishing I didn’t blog.)
To the rest of you I recommend condoms to prevent any blogging children.
(This isn’t a real post, it’s more a bit of emotional release about the holidays, inspired in part by Hiker Mike’s post. I have a real, media-intense post on Slab City coming this week. I promise.)
These are my "Ho Ho Ho" shoes. ahem.
This Christmas was bittersweet for me.
As my regular readers know, more often than not I’m quite content with being single. There are minuses, of course, but overall I enjoy it. (For more specifics, see: Ten Reasons Dating Sucks and Ten Things I Like About Being Single and Ten Things I Don’t.)
But sometimes I really
If you don’t share this story, zombies will get you. (Just a . . . → But wait, there’s more! : I Thought About You Naked
(This post was inspired by Oh Noa’s on lying to her future children. It reminded me of the many lies my parents told us.)
I don’t know about you, but I need some humor while I sort through the Match.com adventures. So today I bring you Lies My Parents Told Me.
1. If you don’t behave I’m going to trade you in for new kids. My Dad said there was a catalog of kids he could trade us for. A catalog of good kids. Chickenbone and I believed this. We were cuter than we were smart. After my father threatened to do this one too many times, we got really worried. We told Mom that Dad planned to get rid of us by trading us in for good kids. After she stopped laughing, Mom told us that he couldn’t do that. Then she laughed some more. When we told Dad that Mom told us the truth, he laughed, too. That is, until he realized the threat was no longer valid.
2. This is going to hurt me more than it will hurt you. Yeah, I’m an adult now and I still don’t buy that crap.
3. We’re divorced. They weren’t. Then they got back together. Then, years later, they got divorced. For real. This time they waited until the minute my father was leaving with suitcases in hand to tell us. Not much time for us to get used to the idea. No time to learn that divorce meant Dad wasn’t going to live . . . → But wait, there’s more! : Lies My Parents Told Me
I learned to mix drinks, quite well actually, and we all had a grand time drinking up the liquor cabinet after school. When the booze would run low, Dad would just replace it. Awesome. *hiccup* . . . → But wait, there’s more! : Drinking and Smoking: My Childhood Memories