Lies My Parents Told Me — 24 Comments

  1. You don’t have to have your own kids in order to enjoy lying to them. Over Christmas, I told my nephews that I spent my childhood hustling air hockey games for snack money.
    bluzdude’s last post ..The Night Terrors

    • I love it! I will start lying to my nephew immediately. Chickenbone probably won’t approve, so I’ll have to do it on the sly.

    • Damn, you were going to get 1/3 of the ranch, too? That means it was promised to at least six people we now know of. Ah, it was in the middle of nowhere in Texas anyway.

  2. #5 is just weird. I remember some of those lies, but I have made a serious effort to just be straight with my kids. Consequently, they tell me more than most teens tell their mothers.

    • I agree that’s the way to build mutual trust… I was much more open with my stepmother, who was honest with me.

  3. LOVE #4 — I also made the “ship this crap to Africa” suggestion to Dear Sweet Mama, but I didn’t follow up with the shopping suggestion. If I had, I’d probably be typing this from my room, where I would have been ever since…
    hoodyhoo’s last post ..Bar Trivia

    • It took us several “eat your vegetables because kids are starving in Africa” prompts before we though of shipping it to them. I think my mother laughed, but tried not to – this being serious and all. We still had to eat okra, and lima beans. Why okra and lima beans?? Could there be two more awful vegetables on the planet? When I got old enough to pick my own vegetables I discovered squash and lettuce and tomatoes. There was a whole world out there I didn’t know existed.

  4. I tell Sean the ugly truth to keep him in line.

    “If you don’t go to school, you have to get a job.”

    You’re not serious!

    “Dude, I’m serious as a car wreck.”

    He loves school.
    Fred Miller’s last post ..My Pussy

    • Ahahaha Sean is smarter than I am. My father told me the same thing, but it just made me get better at ditching and forging his signature on notes.

  5. My mother would just straight up tell us she was putting us up for adoption. The worst part? My mother actually was a very good actor. World’s best poker face. We called her bluff once. She got the phone book and started flipping through it. We ate our vegetables (yes, she was going to put us up for adoption because we weren’t eating our vegetables).
    tattytiara’s last post ..Roses are red- violets are blue Obvious titles are lame- but this will just have to do

    • She must have talked to my dad. Although, my dad didn’t much care if we ate the vegetables or not. He often gave us money for junk food from 7-11. I can’t remember what things we did to warrant “being traded in for good kids”.

  6. I don’t generally lie to my kids, but I often feel like a hypocrite when I tell them something like…..soda is bad for them, but then they see me drinking a coke. Sometimes I even try to time my cough so they don’t hear me cracking one open.
    It’s kind of funny.

    • That is funny! Timing the cough to cracking open the can! HAhahaa

      I forgot to include the Easter Bunny and Santa, but those are pretty common. Chickenbone claims not to tell any other fibs to my nephew, but I suspect she’s telling me one πŸ˜‰

    • Than you πŸ™‚ I seem to have that effect – always making things sound sexy. It’s not like I’m a sex-starved adolescent. Well, ok, maybe that’s not that far from the truth.