Zombies, RV Life, and Random Craziness
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By Kernut, on November 5th, 2011%
 A bit of randomness from western Arizona…
The infamous Area 51 is in Arizona, a state where many people claim to have seen UFOs.
I’ve met some of them. The people, not the UFOs.
One told me there is a local support group for alien abductees.
Huh? (I looked, but I could not find a link to the meetings.)
To capitalize on the alien folklore by simultaneously combining themes from Area 51 and nearby Route 66, some enterprising folks came up with Area 66.
It’s in a town called Yucca. Yes, it is.
 A "UFO" at Area 66. It's just landing, and in a minute the green VW Bug will be flattened. The woman running the small convenience store at Area 66 has seen UFO-type lights. She seems completely sane. Probably because she considers they were most likely aircraft from the nearby military facility.
However, the guy who insisted on building the above flying saucer for Area 66 claims to have been abducted by aliens.
Okay.
Don’t stop now! Continue reading Flying saucers, people living in a giant golf ball, praying to the God of Golf, and giant animal statues. Also? Beware of donkeys.
By Kernut, on September 12th, 2011%
 Blond hair - no "e". The “Blond” vs. “Blonde” debate.
Or perhaps I should say debacle. Yeah, it’s more like a debacle.
*sigh*
When I started this blog, I did reference the fact I tend to make a lot of typos. Just remember you were warned.
At that time I had no idea I’d misspelled the word “blonde” in my blog’s title. I was not trying to be cute or funny, I really had No. Idea. I thought blond with an “E” was the British spelling. You know, like color and colour.
Even now, the auto spellcheck feature in this text is highlighting blonde as being spelled incorrectly, and showing blond as being spelled correctly.
My defense? I was mislead by auto spellcheck.
Apparently blond without an “E” is the masculine version of the word. ??? I swear, I’m not a guy pretending to be a woman like some FBI porn sting operator.
And very shortly after I realized it was far too late to correct THAT major typo, I get these two emails from my mom (note the text in bold)…
—————————- Don’t stop now! Continue reading Blond vs. Blonde. Vanna, can I buy an “E”?
By Kernut, on April 29th, 2011%
I’ve been trying to come up with something to write, but all I’ve got is a list of random stuff that makes for better titles than posts. I couldn’t even come up with ten of them for a Ten Things Tuesday post.
Huh. My life is in the shitter.
My mother just told me my great grandparents were invited to the Royal Wedding of Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip.
Wow!
They didn’t go.
WTHuh??!
What did I learn from this? You dis the Royal family once, and your future generations will never ever be invited again.
I’m considering giving up dating, for good. The men I’m meeting have no follow-through. They act totally interested, but then seem to get cold feet. After attempting to schedule a second date, they fall off the face of the earth if I can’t meet the ONE time they suggested. It doesn’t matter if I’ve met them online, or through friends (the preferred way).
Case in point: Don’t stop now! Continue reading My Royal Wedding Invitation, Three Generations Too Early
By Kernut, on September 10th, 2010%
 My sister, Chickenbone, once told me ‘Don’t bring sand to the beach.’ Me: ??? Chickenbone: If you’re single, don’t bring a date to a party. Me: (still) ??? Chickebone: …where there are single men. Me (a minute later): Ohhhh. (the light bulb isn’t always super bright, folks) . . . → Read More: I Brought Sand To The Beach
By Kernut, on July 26th, 2010%
Looking for a new pair of shoes? Got a shoe or foot fetish? Got an animal foot fetish? Are you a Dom who needs a gift for your slave?
Let me help you out…
 Chair Shoes? Foot Chair? Do your feet get tired of walking in heels? Here’s the solution!
. Don’t stop now! Continue reading Got Kinky Shoe Fetish?
By Kernut, on July 22nd, 2010%
 This is me. What, you thought I was human? When I’m not here, you probably think I’m out having an awesome social life, on a date, or having sex.
Sadly, no. It’s been about a year since I had a boyfriend – and he was really lousy in bed. Come to think of it, so was the one before him.
But I have been discovered – by spammers.
When I’m not here blogging (and deleting spam), I’m over here writing about Social Media (and deleting spam), or here writing about sexy stuff.
That is, when I’m not at my new job!
Yes, it’s true folks – I am no longer a government-subsidized cube dweller. I have escaped the padded cell, a.k.a. the cubicle from hell.
(Believe it or not, I didn’t get fired for asking Guy Kawasaki if he had a single brother for me. Truth be told, by then I had already given notice so there would have been no point in firing me in my last week. Heh heh.) Don’t stop now! Continue reading Social Media, Jobs, Spam, Sex and Dating – Maybe not in that order
By Kernut, on April 25th, 2010%
 This one speaks for itself. My Blog is a Guilty Pleasure
Pepperidge Farm Doesn’t Understand Me
UPS Hires Basketball Players
My Gift: Some Assembly, and Transportation, Required
Google Searches Confuse Me, and Others
(Really, I’ve got nothing. And sometimes Google has nothing, too.)
A friend emailed me the other day to tell he how much he enjoys my blog.
 I start getting all warm and fuzzy. No, really, I’m actually not being sarcastic this time. I love hearing how much you guys enjoy my blog. I get a little excited every time someone leaves a comment. Just a little. Like I do about chocolate. Every. day.
Don’t stop now! Continue reading Random Things I Found Funny This Week
By Kernut, on March 19th, 2010%
To help brighten up the sterilized sea of cubicles where I work, each holiday we decorate a pass-through/hallway. It helps give the place a little color, and is a good excuse not to be at our desks for 15 minutes. We also include a plate of cookies or bowl of candy related to the holiday.
For St. Patty’s we did the usual: green clovers, pictures of green beer and leprechauns. My cube mate (the quiet male) cut up shapes of Lucky Charms cereal out of colored paper: pink hearts, yellow moons, orange stars, green clovers, blue diamonds, and purple horse shoes. Very creative.
I thought we needed a real box of Lucky Charms cereal to complete the decorations. Mind you, it had been years since I last saw the contents of Lucky Charms.
Besides oddly-shaped (not as described above) “marshmallows”, here’s what was in the box: Don’t stop now! Continue reading We Interrupt The Regularly Scheduled Post To Bring You: Lucky WTF? Charms
By Kernut, on March 13th, 2010%
So, what does any self-respecting procrastinator do at a time like this? Find great shit to read on the internet. Lucky for you, I’ve decided to share my findings. These had me laughing so hard they brought tears to my eyes… . . . → Read More: Funny Shit Someone Else Wrote…
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Adult Toys – December Sale, $5 to $10 off!! See GDIM sex blog for details. Graphic Details Adult Toy Store
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Zombie Apocalypse, Military, and Obamanation T-shirts, Mugs, and More!
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