Zombies, RV Life, and Random Craziness
- Willcox, Arizona, resting place of Warren Earp, Rex Allen and Koko the Horse.
- Happy Birthday! Checkers, the RV copilot, turned 18 today.
- Ten Things: Random Observations From the Road
- Put the hooker in the box, and the bird in the closet.
- “The Thing” in Dragoon, Arizona? It’s a dead thing.
- Bugzilla, my new roommate.
- Tombstones in Tombstone, Arizona
- Holy Flying Vampires, Y’all! The bugs are big in Texas.
- From the Ocean-to-Ocean Bridge to the Bridge to Nowhere, and shaking your dates in between.
- Severe Weather Alert: Like a cow pissin on a flat rock.
- The Center of the World, and two blondes in Mexico.
- Don’t make me get my gun out. Again.
- I got down, way down, in Calipatria.
- I was eaten by a giant dinosaur, and then I found millions of Zombie Fish.
- Cement boats, giant artichokes, old jails, and two-story outhouses.
- Ten Things You Must Know Before Buying a Used RV
- Train and Tumbleweed
- Giant Bunnies, Giant Monopoly Boards, and World’s Longest Garlic Braid. Welcome to Northern California.
- 28 Days Later
- Border Patrol = Reno 911
Pimpin my affiliates… Seriously, this blog can not survive on my writing alone.
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By Kernut, on April 11th, 2012%
  He-heh. I need a sign like this for my rig. On my way to Texas, I stopped in Tombstone, Arizona, home of the infamous OK Corral. No longer the dangerous, wild western town for which it’s so well known, it has become an off-the-beaten-path tourist trap stop.
 Downtown Tombstone, Arizona... seems a little quiet. One vendor seemed hell-bent on getting me to join the ghost tour. Even the vendors in Mexico were less aggressive – and that’s saying something. Don’t stop now! Continue reading Tombstones in Tombstone, Arizona
By Kernut, on January 13th, 2012%
I don’t even know where to start. Really, I don’t. That’s partly why this post is so late in coming.
Many RVers know about Slab City, some like it, some don’t, but everyone said, ‘You have to experience it at least once.’
I asked, ‘Why? What’s the attraction?’ No one could really say why, they just said it was ‘different’.
Different.
My readers and fellow travelers have led me to some of the most interesting places so when they say I have to go somewhere, I usually go.
Plus, Me = Different.
While Slab City looks similar in some ways to scenes straight out of the Mad Max movies, it is unlike anything I’ve ever seen or experienced. I now understand why no one could muster an answer when I asked why I should go.
Rather than attempt a lengthy description, I’ll do a series of bullet-point descriptions occasionally accompanied by photos and a video. It’s that “A picture is worth a thousand words” thing. Plus, it’s easier because I’m swamped trying to get a new dinghy tow vehicle so I can get out of Dodge A.S.A.P.
For more detail about Slab City, read my two previous articles: one about the death in the hot springs, and one for Yahoo! News.
Slab City, Calif., A World Like No Other Don’t stop now! Continue reading Slab City is, umm, different. Very different. Kind of like me. Sort of.
By Kernut, on December 10th, 2011%
 Crazy dinosaur marketing schemes, lighthouses, giant golf ball houses, wayward donkeys, naked bookstore owners, and now this.
A pyramid.
Arizona is probably the coolest state when it comes to unique and odd attractions. I used to think I’d have to go to Egypt or Mexico to see a pyramid, but no. Arizona has a pyramid in Quartzsite.
In 1856 the US Army decided it would be a good idea to bring camels over from the Middle East.
Our government 150 years ago? Not exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer, so how well do you think this worked?
To their way of thinking, the camels would better make the hot, dry trip across the desert than the horses. Ok, that almost makes sense…
But when they imported the 70 animals, they neglected to consider camels are not horses and are not trained like horses.
In case you don’t know, camels are not sweet like horses.
And the US government is still none-too-bright 150 years later, but you know that.
However, in a rare moment of lucidity, they decided to bring over from the Middle East several experienced camel drivers. One of those drivers was named Hadji Ali.
Since most Americans couldn’t pronounce the name, they just called him ‘Hi Jolly’ – the phonetic spelling of the pronunciation.
*sigh* Do I really live here?? Don’t stop now! Continue reading There’s a pyramid in Arizona. I don’t think the Egyptians built it, but what do I know.
By Kernut, on December 5th, 2011%
 Everyone told me “There’s a naked man in Quartzsite, Arizona. You’ve got to go there.”
Well, duh! Of course I do.
My friends, and folks I meet on my travels, give me some of the best tips. I love you people!
They were right, as usual; he was naked except for a hat, a necklace, and a small crocheted “sock” over his privates. (‘small’ is not a comment on the size of anything other than the sock)
I think there is a little satin bow on it, but I couldn’t look that closely without being accused of staring.
No, NO. On the sock.
Sheesh, I really have conditioned you all to go to the dark side first, haven’t I?
You’re welcome.
He shaves.
No, not his beard. (TMI? Sorry.)
The “sock” was held up by fishing line.
Nothing covered his back side. Don’t stop now! Continue reading I met a naked man in Quartzsite, Arizona.
By Kernut, on November 5th, 2011%
 A bit of randomness from western Arizona…
The infamous Area 51 is in Arizona, a state where many people claim to have seen UFOs.
I’ve met some of them. The people, not the UFOs.
One told me there is a local support group for alien abductees.
Huh? (I looked, but I could not find a link to the meetings.)
To capitalize on the alien folklore by simultaneously combining themes from Area 51 and nearby Route 66, some enterprising folks came up with Area 66.
It’s in a town called Yucca. Yes, it is.
 A "UFO" at Area 66. It's just landing, and in a minute the green VW Bug will be flattened. The woman running the small convenience store at Area 66 has seen UFO-type lights. She seems completely sane. Probably because she considers they were most likely aircraft from the nearby military facility.
However, the guy who insisted on building the above flying saucer for Area 66 claims to have been abducted by aliens.
Okay.
Don’t stop now! Continue reading Flying saucers, people living in a giant golf ball, praying to the God of Golf, and giant animal statues. Also? Beware of donkeys.
By Kernut, on October 30th, 2011%
 Seligman, Arizona, a small rural town, is known as the birthplace of Route 66. It’s full of Route 66 memorabilia.
 Reportedly held notorious outlaws that they didn't teach us about in school. And the evening news is worthless as usual. Thanks for nothing, FOX. Along with a few themed restaurants and shops, there is the old Territorial Jail House from 1860. At one time it housed notorious outlaws such as Seligman Slim, Four-fingered Frank, and Carl “Curly” Bane. (Don’t feel bad. I don’t know who they are, either. Sorry, Dead Guys, but it’s been 150 years.)
While researching my trip, I’d read somewhere “not to miss Pandora’s Box” in the men’s room of The Roadkill Cafe.
Of course, a place named The Roadkill Cafe sounded like a good place to eat, anyway. And I was on a mission to find this Pandora’s Box in the men’s room.
When I walked in to the restaurant, three friendly ladies greeted me. I inquired about ‘Pandora’s Box’ in the men’s room. They all gave me blank looks. No one knew about it. Well, none of the ladies. Not so sure about the men.
I began telling them how I’d heard it was in the men’s room and ‘not to be missed’. Don’t stop now! Continue reading Birthplace of Route 66, the Mother Road. And I saw Pandora’s Box in the men’s room.
By Kernut, on October 25th, 2011%
 How can you not love a town with castles, spiritual vortices, fertility deities, and huge phallic rocks?!
Sedona has everything a traveler could want. Well, travelers who like men.
Ahem.
Shall we start with the spiritual stuff, and work our way down? Err, I mean south. Wait, scratch that. NO, NO, don’t scratch that!
Moving on…
Sedona, in case you’ve never been, is known for its spiritual and metaphysical community. The town has four vortices, places where you are likely to feel energy coming up from the earth.
Whether it was the suggestion of such or an actual spiritual experience, my friend (the one I connected with while standing on a corner in Winslow, Arizona), and I both “felt” something. (Now, now. Remember we’re talking about the spiritual stuff here.)
This is a view of Sedona from the top of the Airport Rd Vortex.
 Me: I felt it, did you? Him: *dirty laugh* I felt a lot of things. Every where I looked there were tributes to Kokopelli, the fertility deity. Although, none I saw were depicted with the large phallus as mentioned in Wikipedia. Don’t stop now! Continue reading Huge phallic rocks, fertility gods, castles, and vortices. Love, Sedona.
By Kernut, on October 17th, 2011%
 This post is a slight departure from my usual. The Grand Canyon’s North Rim being one of the most beautiful places I’ve yet seen on my travels, I feel it deserves reverence.
 North Rim of the Grand Canyon Words can’t express the emotions that wash over you as you stand on the edge of these expansive vistas, hearing only the occasional bird and the rustle of the wind.
Peace, tranquility, and serenity come to mind. But even those descriptions feel somehow incomplete. Magical? Humbling?
A picture is worth a thousand words, and a few feelings, too. Rather than try to tell you about it, I’ve created the photo slideshow below. And below that is my video of the North Rim set to relaxing music. Take a little time from your day and enjoy the peace and serenity. (to see the slideshow and video, click the following link… Don’t stop now! Continue reading Grand Canyon North Rim, A Spiritual Experience
By Kernut, on October 6th, 2011%
 Known locally as Creed's Castle, you can barely make it out on top of the plateau. Rising up out of the St. George, Utah suburbs looms a large plateau. There is nothing on top of it: no trees, no other homes. Except for the castle.
For the many years members of my family have lived here I’ve wondered about this castle sitting on top of the plateau. At night I could see the lights in the castle turret come on and I was transfixed.
The castle was calling to me.
I wanted to see inside the castle. I wanted to see their view at night. And I wanted to know who lived there.
So on this trip to Utah I invited myself over to the castle.
No lie. This Princess invited herself to the castle. This is not a castle open to the public – it’s someone’s home. Don’t stop now! Continue reading I Crashed The Castle In St George, Utah
By Kernut, on October 3rd, 2011%
I found Mollie’s Nipple on the way to Purgatory. I can only assume Mollie is walking around with one nipple.
 "Mollie's Nipple" in Hurricane, UT. I have no idea where the other one is. I hope Mollie still has it. It’s a butte named “Mollie’s Nipple”. Makes you wonder if Mollie was a popular saloon gal back in the day. Or if she lost one in a bar fight.
Have you ever see a 100 year-old fruitcake? No, no, I’m not talking about an old gay guy. Geez, people. I mean an actual fruitcake. Found via RoadsideAmerica.com at the Hurricane Valley Heritage Museum, it was originally a four-layer wedding cake. Not sure when they ate the two missing layers, but unless they ate them with a hammer and chisel, it wasn’t anytime in the recent past. Don’t stop now! Continue reading Mollie Lost Her Nipple In Purgatory But I Found It
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