Zombies, RV Life, and Random Craziness
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By Kernut, on May 16th, 2010%
 From Bixby Bridge in Big Sur Car Shows, Riding on a Harley, Fried Artichokes, and fresh, hot Cinnamon Rolls!
What an amazing weekend it’s been! I’ve been out showing my friend from Meeneesooota the sights and it’s been an tour of the senses.
That’s partly why I haven’t been around much. Like anyone’s noticed. (I can’t yet tell you all the other reason just yet, but will tell you all as soon as I can. And I promise you’ll love it! ‘Cept for maybe my parents. But they’ve got to be use to me by now.)
It is truly a delight to show someone the sights who has the ability to let their inner child out, experiencing the world with that same sense of wonder and appreciation. He was amazed by the beauty of the Big Sur, California coast, and let himself express it and immerse himself in it. That’s the part most people seem to find hard to do. For me it comes naturally. Probably because I’ve never Don’t stop now! Continue reading An Exploration of the Senses
By Kernut, on April 8th, 2010%
Have you ever been to a brothel? Of course you have! Well I have, too. Three, actually. All on the same day. I’m a studdette like that. . . . → Read More: Sex in Carson City: My Trip to The Brothels – UPDATE
By Kernut, on April 2nd, 2010%
 The Rispin Mansion, Capitola, CA. Front entry way. The Time Penny Was Attacked by The Killer Bees
When I was a delinquent young teenager in Capitola, I had some friends with whom I regularly got into trouble had adventures. (See: My First Brush With The Law). One of the places we would regularly go to find trouble was the colloquially named ‘monastery’, formally know as The Rispin Mansion.
(Side note: If you view the more recent photos, note we did NOT spray paint the place, or destroy the statues, and were quick to lecture those who did. We loved that place. I would like to see it restored but it’s going to be torn down and turned into a Bed & Breakfast or something.)
The monestary/Rispin Mansion was once a beautiful mansion built in 1922 by a wealthy man, reported to have transported liquor during the Prohibition.
It seemed only fitting we should go there to drink illegally.
The place once had beautiful parquet floors and statues. It still had secret hidden rooms, and a sliding bookcase. People, I couldn’t make this shit up – I’m not that imaginative. IT WAS AWESOME!
The place was abandoned around 1958, and it’s considered trespassing to be on the grounds.
Yet another good reason for us to go there. Regularly. Don’t stop now! Continue reading Penny and The Attack of The Killer Bees
By Kernut, on March 29th, 2010%
 The Four Seasons Golf Resort - probably not the one we were at. Golf Carts Don’t Float, But Golf Tees Do – Who Knew?!
For a little while after my parents got divorced my father stayed in the general Santa Barbara, CA area. My sister, Chickenbone, and I would spend weekends and long summers with him where we would learn all kinds of grown-up things (much against my mother’s wishes) like playing poker, driving before we were even in our teens, and eating junk food all day long.
My father raised us very differently than my mother: My mother was a fairly strict and conservative parent who raised us on health food, while my father pretty much let us do absolutely anything we wanted. (See My First Brush With The Law for an example.)
And he would often help us cover up the crime.
We were too young to be legally left alone (not because we couldn’t take care of ourselves, but more likely we’d have burnt down the house). But my father liked playing golf, so he had to bring us along.
Just imagine two independent, but restrained-9-months-out-of-the year-then-suddenly-unleashed kids running amok on the golf course. Don’t stop now! Continue reading The Time I Learned Golf Carts Don’t Float
By Kernut, on February 25th, 2010%
 In an effort to end my, shall we say discomfort, Kahlil decides to speed up this catastrophe and ask directions from SOME RANDOM SHIFTLESS PERSON standing on the street corner. But not just any corner – Kahlil chooses the corner on my side of the car. I’d like to know what’s wrong with his side of the bulletproof car? Oh, that’s right: Sacrifice the blond. That’s what they always do in the movies. . . . → Read More: When Lost in the Crenshaw District of L.A., Sacrifice The Blond
By Kernut, on February 20th, 2010%
 I asked, “What’s up with the window?”, pinching the 3/4-inch-thick glass between my finger and thumb. Kahlil (with an accent), very matter-of-fact, “The Mercedes is bullet proof. The doors are also reinforced. My family sends me one every year.” Me, “Oh.” (Obviously, he was dating me for my razor-sharp wit.) . . . → Read More: Flirting with Disaster: Dating Exiled Afghani Royalty
By Kernut, on February 17th, 2010%
Oh, and to the wasted chick singing and dancing like a drunken zombie when everyone was seated: No more coke for you. . . . → Read More: Billy Joel & Elton John ROCKED the House!
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