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By Kernut, on December 9th, 2011%
Continuing the theme of How to Ask a Gal Out (the “Don’ts”), I now present the “Do’s”…
He said, “I just spent the night with Kernut!”
That was the title of his post to the singles group list of 700 people!
Holy Shatner! Considering it’s been a while since anyone could claim that statement, I wasn’t sure what to think.
*blink*
His message to the list continued…
Ok, not like THAT. (Pity)
I am sitting in the airport in Albequerque, waiting to fly to South Dakota so I can “move” there. I came across the email with a blog link and have had a fabulous time reading old posts. She educated me on boondocking, took me to a brothel, gave me dating advice and explained why she is still single, although I honestly still don’t understand the last part. (By the way, I was married once. We had his and hers scissors. It helped a lot but not enough).
Anyway, if you haven’t followed her blog, you should. She is quite refreshing to read.
For the record, Kernut, even though I have used both fabulous and refreshing in this email, I swear I am not gay. I hope to meet you one day, although I am sure you will still choose singledom! And I agree, the 3 date rule is utterly stupid. Guys who believe it should be relegated to being brothel regulars.
(named withheld, reprinted with permission)
And that is the nicest review I’ve ever received.
Ok, it might be the only review other than what my dear and wonderful friends and followers write on Facebook.
Promoting my website with a kind review is awesome. Yes, I can be bought.
I didn’t know him at all before this, but now I’d like to meet him.
And that, folks, is Lesson One in How To Ask A Gal Out.
Lesson Two is below… Don’t stop now! Continue reading He told 700 people, ‘I just spent the night with Kernut!’
By Kernut, on February 9th, 2011%
Yes, I did. I joined Match.com. Again. I’m not well. I blame the cold medicine that got me to join the Booty Camp to which I’m now addicted. Those two things are related. No, I don’t know how.
It’s been about seven years and I’d forgotten about this part: I’ve got more Match.com emails and winks than I can respond to. There are many sweet guys on there who’ve written me. It’s really nice. And about time I got some interested attention from an emotionally available man. At least I think they’re emotionally available.
I know it’s only because I’m the “fresh meat” on the market that I’m getting all this attention and it will level out soon, but Holy Horny Ones Batman! I feel such pressure to respond.
Thank you to those of you who suggested I email that guy who caught my eye. He’s already responded FOUR times to my one. I think he likes me. Or he’s desperate. Huh.
Some of you, ok ONE of you, expressed an interest in the details of my profile. (The rest of you are under no obligation to keep reading.) Here’s a snippet…
 I'm on cold medicine in this picture. (I couldn’t decide on an opening line, so I chose both. I’m like that with restaurant menus, too.) Don’t stop now! Continue reading I Joined Match.com. Again. I Blame The Cold Medicine.
By Kernut, on December 7th, 2010%
I’ve been promising you all this post since I started this blog up again several months ago. I’ve held off until now because it was a terrifying experience for me, one that’s hard to relive. There’s another reason, too. This event is like a scene straight out of a movie, and includes a very famous actor. Most of you don’t know me personally (not that I hold much back on this blog! heh). So, up until now I worried you’d think I made it up, determine I’m prone to flights of fancy, and potentially even more bonkers than I admit to. But if you’ve stayed with me this far (and through the Holiday Letter From My Cat), I figure you’ll be with me after this. However bizarre it seems, this story is quite true. The Malibu Sheriff’s office probably has some record of it, too. And I’m no more bonkers than I’ve told you outright.
By the way – this is fairly long, so I’ve broken it up into a series of posts. I don’t know how many, because I’m still writing it. (Not quite the pro-blogger you thought I was, huh? <— dripping with tongue-in-cheek sarcasm) I’ll post one every few days or so. Probably ‘or so’.
The True Story of How Martin Sheen Saved My Life (yes, THE Martin Sheen)
‘Saved my life’ might be a bit of an overstatement, but that Saturday night nine years ago I was terrified for my life like I have never been before or since.
All I knew was this complete stranger was following me – everywhere. At first he kept his distance, following my car as I ran a few errands and headed for a 30-minute drive to Point Dume in Malibu. I could see he was male, with dark hair and skin, driving a beat-up white pickup truck with darkly tinted windows. (Beat-up cars, with darkly tinted windows were not at all common in Malibu.)
I couldn’t shake him. I tried evasive driving maneuvers, quickly turning corners, hiding down the hill. He searched the neighborhood until he found me each time.
Before I continue with the details of that terrifying night, let me provide a little backstory… Don’t stop now! Continue reading The Time Martin Sheen Saved My Life
By Kernut, on November 7th, 2010%
  The line starts behind me. *ahem* This past week has been exciting (well, ‘exciting’ by my standards anyway):
I signed up for BlogHer in San Diego next August. I’m really looking forward to meeting my bloggy friends. Ok, this is probably only exciting to bloggers.
I did a little lot of virtual flirting with “GpJeff” on Twitter. (That’s a top secret alias ’cause he’s probably got a nice family and a real job and is probably embarrassed to be mentioned on this tabloid of a blog.) Anyhoo, it was good for me. I hope it was good for him, too. E-flirting is all the action I’m getting these days.
But I did have a couple real life dates this week. OMG! I know! I’m shocked, too.
One was with a long-time friend who, even though he cares very deeply for me, isn’t sure what he wants in terms of a relationship, or really if he wants one at all, blah, blah, blah. His ambivalence has certainly dampened any interest I might have had. (See, now you’re not so surprised anymore. I mean, really – who else would I attract???) At least this one isn’t married/separated. But really, it’s enough to make a gal give up dating altogether. Don’t stop now! Continue reading What Am I Doing? Everyone I Can and The Weak Ones Twice.
By Kernut, on May 7th, 2010%
My friend: “Who do you think buys more sex toys, men or women?” . . . → Read More: Who Bought Your Sex Toys?
By Kernut, on March 5th, 2010%
I got flowers last night. A big bouquet of beautiful red roses. Ok, so they were from a complete stranger. But he’s totally hot. . . . → Read More: I Got Roses Last Night
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