A while back I wrote Ten Things: Ten Reasons Dating Sucks.
Because of my mixed feelings about dating vs. remaining single, I now have ten more reasons dating sucks. And because I’m apparently a glutton for punishment.
MamaSteph, in her article Men… Ugh…, put it better than I ever could have…
I am not at all a stupid person, in fact, I like to think of myself as rather smart, but on occasion I do some very stupid things, most of which involve men. I love men, everything about them, wide shoulders, hairy chests, deep voices, big hands, the way they smell… anyway, where was I? Oh yes, for a relatively smart girl I have made some bad choices in men, bad choices, like if stupidity was a crime I would be a lifer with no parole. If I walk into a room with 100 men the ones who hone in on me first are the most unstable, I will then pick the worst one of them to date, it’s a character flaw.
I feel a kindred spirit to this woman, a complete stranger. But she knows me and I know her. Like her, I, too, am not desperate for a relationship, I am single by choice. However, I would welcome the opportunity to share my life and adventures with the right man. Emphasis on RIGHT.
Sadly, I continue to attract only married or recently separated men. In fact, the recently separated seem to be the only “single” men I meet anymore. Where are the eligible single men and why don’t they approach me? WTF?
The fact that the unknown vulgar, psycho commenter from an earlier post is out there somewhere having lurid fantasies about, and jealous reactions toward, me should be enough to deter any smart individual from dating. (In case you missed it, the comment was removed after 48 hours and no response from the coward. Mostly because the sick bastard really freaked out my mother.)
In the unlikely event you need further convincing that dating sucks, the following is taken from a year in my dating life…
Ten Things: Ten Reasons Dating REALLY Sucks
1. Dated a guy who was two months away from being legally divorced after being separated for two years. The night before his final divorce hearing he tells me he ‘loves me, will never leave me’, etc. During the divorce hearing the following day he apparently decides he “can’t” sign the divorce papers – he wants to stay married. WTF? By the way, the “ex-wife” was still with her boyfriend of over two years – a guy she started seeing before the separation.
2. Dated a guy who, after promising me the sun, the moon, and the stars, left me, and the RV park where we were camped only a few campsites apart. How did I find out he was dumping me? I saw him drive past me with his RV trailer hooked up.
3. Numbers 1 and 2 were the same guy. On the same day. Number 2 happened immediately after his divorce hearing because he didn’t have the balls to face me and tell me the truth*. Which, while still sad, would have been better than my just seeing him drive out of the park without so much as a goodbye.
*I, however, had the balls to follow his cowardly ass to the next RV park for an explanation of why he just pulled his trailer out of the first. It was then he told me about not signing the divorce papers. Fucker.
4. Dated a guy who left to join the circus. Correction, he said it was the ‘carnival’. Circus. Carnival. Whatever. He told me he’d be gone (for something else entirely, not even close to being the circus/carnival), saying he’d be back in a few weeks. When I learned the truth, he did not come back.
5. Dated a guy who swindled me out of $400 under false pretenses. Despite numerous empty promises to pay me back, he still owes me the money but is probably drinking it away in Mexico.
6. Dated a guy who said he’d been divorced for two years. I later found out he wasn’t even legally separated. Although they hadn’t lived together or seen each other in two years that’s little consolation for his blatant lie.
7. Dated a guy who stole from a Target (low-end department) store while we were shopping there. I was apparently driving the getaway car and didn’t know it. WTF? I had no idea he was a thief until Security detained him. That was rather interesting, but he managed to get away with it – and they gave him money for the stolen items before he left! He’s very good at lying.
8. Dated a guy I met while traveling who said he had two places to live, a car, and a job. He didn’t have any of them.
9. Numbers 4-8 were the same guy. Once again, I learned the truth about the above items at the same time, during the drunken confession he made while away for those “few weeks” attempting to join the circus. Carnival. Whatever.
10. All the above happened in a year’s time. One year out of many. This past year as a matter of fact. I haven’t really dated anyone in the several months since. It’s no mystery why my hair is literally falling out. (<— not exaggerating)
Holy Crap! Right? Not even I can believe this is my life – and it happened to me.
You must be thinking I’m a magnet for married/separated liars. You’re probably right. You may think I don’t ask a lot of questions, or I don’t ask the right questions, but you’d be wrong. Because of experiences like this I do ask A LOT of specific questions. I always specifically ask ‘When was your divorce final?’, among many others. The guys always have good answers.
My problem is I believe them. I’m too damn trusting.
1. Don’t date. Or at least I shouldn’t date. I hear other people have better luck.
2. See Lesson 1.
3. If I try to date again, please remind me of Lessons 1 and 2.