As I hinted in this previous post (<— read that link or the rest of this post won’t make sense), I have some funny (or not) indecent proposals to share with you all, followed by a hopeful solution to my heretofore screwy dating life: Professional Dating Advice. Oh my, I learned so much! The indecency week be in two posts.

First, about the indecent proposals I’ve received.

Was it something I said?

Do I give off a scent?

The better question is, “Why do I bother dating at all?”

After learning the last man I dated, referred to as Speck, was less than honest or faithful, I moved on. I’m not much for meeting men in bars, and I don’t come across many other options, so I opt for internet dating. *heavy sigh* Many of my long time readers will recall my escapades with Match.com, etc. (Single women, I offer you a warning: The aforementioned ex is on Match and has been active there for years. Yes, while we were dating. No, that is not where I met him. Yes, he is seeing someone else and she may not know about his profile. For all I know, he has several.)

Here’s what’s also on Match and E-harmony…

Indecent Proposal #1: “Rich Guy” I had a great date over the holiday weekend with a guy from E-Harmony. He’s good looking, extremely successful, owns a major US business, and several homes. One of those happens to be a sweet on-the-beach condo in Bethany Beach, Delaware. I’ll call him Rich Guy.

After making it through E-Harmony’s intense vetting process, we emailed, and then talked on the phone. He was heading down to the condo for a couple days of rest and relaxation. Rich Guy invited me to join him.

???

Now, here I was, nothing planned for the holiday weekend, except sitting in the RV park and seeing Speck around the park, a fresh reminder of my shame.

My dilemma: Do nothing at home and see Speck around the park, or go meet a virtual stranger from the internet at his beach house for the evening? What’s a gal (blond lemming) to do?

I chose the beach house and virtual stranger, for obvious reasons. (Before anyone freaks out, I did a background on the guy before I went there. He’s legit.)

Prior to my driving to Delaware we had a frank discussion about how he wasn’t going to get sex. He was fine with that, and said he would sleep on the couch and I could have the bedroom.

We had a good time, even though he was all over me like a cheap suit. Rich Guy Draped Over Me Like A Cheap Suit had moves like a teenage boy – not an ounce of subtlety or finesse.

Maybe he thought he was going to get some anyway, and then he’d sleep on the couch after.

He didn’t, and he did.

Here’s something else odd he did, something Speck used to do, too…

Over the course of the evening Rich Guy Draped Over Me Like A Cheap Suit made about a dozen “jokes” at my expense. Just stupid stuff like blond jokes, and the like. Nothing funny, only little barbs, or mild attempts to insult. It seemed as though he was trying to get a rise out of me; I think he wanted me to be offended. Anyway, it didn’t offend me, just started to annoy me after the first half dozen. Something about that behavior strikes me as passive-aggressive or misogynistic.

Blond lemming says, “NEXT!”

Indecent Proposal #2: “Greenie”  He is highly intelligent, owns a small business, and travels all the time, like I do. However, he’s heavily into farming and sustainable stuff and shared community (Uber, AirBNB when he travels). I’ll call him Greenie because of that.

After our first call, I politely said I didn’t think we were a match, but he still wanted to meet. I knew it wouldn’t happen, but played along. Following, are email exchanges over a couple weeks, picking up after that one call.

Hi (Greenie),

No worries on the dropped call. It could’ve been my phone, too.

Dinner would be nice, but it will have to wait. I’m booked this week with the potential move. I think I mentioned there is a good chance I’m relocating to (town to get away from the ex Speck). I’m just waiting for the official thumbs up from the manager.

We can match up our schedules once you come back from Ohio. How often do you travel for work? When is your next trip after Ohio?

Cheers,
(Blond Lemming)

He replied saying he was busy traveling for a few weeks, and then no other communication until I get this email below two weeks later. Apparently, he’d not been traveling. When reading his next email, keep in mind we have not met.

To be continued… (this is my attempt at a cliffhanger)