I’m going to do it, I’m going to take The Plunge.
And I want your help.
You probably know from the paragraph I wrote about dating in Cow-Chicken-Oil Town, or my posts on Facebook, that I’m about to join an online dating site. This time I am not under the influence of cold medicine.
So here’s the thing… I have a profile partially set up, but I can’t decide what to write in the text portion. Yeah I know, “I’m a writer.” I should be able to write my profile.
I wrote a draft of a profile the other night. It sort of sucks. Here’s a snippet…
I believe. I’m a hopeless romantic and I believe in love.
Ah, to be In Love, that feeling of two souls combining as one, to make love body and soul, there is no other feeling in the world like it.
That may sound idealistic, but only if you’ve never experienced it before. I believe… No, I know love like that exists because I have felt it.
That is what I’m looking for here: To fall In Love with someone who falls In Love with me, to be cherished and to cherish, to be touched by and to touch another soul.
No hookups, no casual dating, no “well maybe someday I’ll get serious and remarry”. If you aren’t emotionally available now, please skip this profile.
Can you truly let go and open your heart and soul to another?….
That’s only about half of it. And that is plenty, trust me.
It wasn’t really for posting to a profile, but included a bunch of the concepts and phrases that were floating around in my head. I thought writing it down would help me to formulate a great profile, but it didn’t help at all. While the piece is moving in its entirety – at least from my point of view – it sort of sucks as a dating profile. It sounds too intense or too something for online dating purposes. Heck, I wouldn’t want to date me if that was all I had to go on.
Here are a few important items:
- I want my profile to describe me and the man I’m looking for as best as possible, but not be so lengthy the candidates won’t read it.
- I may not post any photos, or maybe just crappy ones, in hope of attracting someone interested in knowing who I am more than what I look like.
- I’m a hopeless romantic only interested in marriage or, at the very least, a long term relationship.
- But relationships sometimes scare me to the point of panic and anxiety. Seriously. I want a man who can be my rock when I’m scared, who can be calmly reassuring, who can lend me his strength until I find mine again. (I’m screwed, aren’t I?)
- I’m adventurous, loyal, honest, curious, passionate, compassionate, affectionate, funny, smart… looking for same.
- I like traveling, beaches, chocolate, exploring, learning, meditating, reading, fine dining…
(But when I start writing a profile like that it sounds like a generic laundry-list dating profile. And you probably stopped reading this because it’s already too long.)
Here’s where you come in. Men and women, I want to hear from both sides.
What are your suggestions for writing a profile?
If you’ve ever tried online dating, what did you look for in the profile text?
What things made you reject a profile?
Was there anything in a profile that made you think someone was only looking for “short-term” or casual dating, even if they said otherwise?
My friend recently said she hates bathroom-mirror selfies that men use in profiles. Those don’t bother me, but the shirtless ones do. Not that I don’t like seeing a hot, half naked man, but a shirtless photo taken in the mirror just says to me, “I’m a guy looking to get laid” or “I’m completely narcissistic.” Lots of photos with a drink in his/her hand suggests, “Practicing alcoholic.” What are the types of poses or photos women use that send a message? (Think “duck lips” selfies, etc.)
If someone writes a long profile, do you read it all or do you mostly go by the photos?
I’m looking forward to your comments. (If you want to send me a private message, you can email me at justsayomm at gmail.)