Zombies, RV Life, and Random Craziness
- Willcox, Arizona, resting place of Warren Earp, Rex Allen and Koko the Horse.
- Happy Birthday! Checkers, the RV copilot, turned 18 today.
- Ten Things: Random Observations From the Road
- Put the hooker in the box, and the bird in the closet.
- “The Thing” in Dragoon, Arizona? It’s a dead thing.
- Bugzilla, my new roommate.
- Tombstones in Tombstone, Arizona
- Holy Flying Vampires, Y’all! The bugs are big in Texas.
- From the Ocean-to-Ocean Bridge to the Bridge to Nowhere, and shaking your dates in between.
- Severe Weather Alert: Like a cow pissin on a flat rock.
- The Center of the World, and two blondes in Mexico.
- Don’t make me get my gun out. Again.
- I got down, way down, in Calipatria.
- I was eaten by a giant dinosaur, and then I found millions of Zombie Fish.
- Cement boats, giant artichokes, old jails, and two-story outhouses.
- Ten Things You Must Know Before Buying a Used RV
- Train and Tumbleweed
- Giant Bunnies, Giant Monopoly Boards, and World’s Longest Garlic Braid. Welcome to Northern California.
- 28 Days Later
- Border Patrol = Reno 911
Pimpin my affiliates… Seriously, this blog can not survive on my writing alone.
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By Kernut, on December 7th, 2011%
Mostly, I get wonderful, sweet and praising emails from you folks. I save them all.
Sometimes the BS I get in my inbox requires a special rant. This is one of those times.
 Let's Play Carpenter... or not. As the Match.com Dating Chronicles and Dating Exiled Royalty attest, my love life has been nothing if not interesting. Dating still seems to me one of the strangest activities. It’s like a prolonged interview, and you don’t really know if there’s even a job for you.
Needless to say, my experiences, especially those with Match.com, have left me leery of dating in general. Most especially of internet dating in particular.
While I do get asked out fairly regularly, it takes a special person and a special request to get a “yes” out of me. In the last two weeks I’ve received several requests over the internet for a date, or a general indication of interest. A couple are worthy of a “Yes”, but we’ll discuss those in the next post.
Would-be suitors take note: Included herein are the don’ts of asking for a date. There are ways to ask a lady out to get a “yes”, and ways to be assured you’re turned down. If you want a quick hookup, just go to the bar and don’t waste her (read: my) time.
Like this article recommends, calling someone over the phone is much better than asking for a date over the internet or, Heaven forbid, via text. If I don’t know you, emailing is appropriate while we get to know each other. However, if I’ve given you my number, a phone call is much better. Someday you will have to pick up that phone if you want to date me.
The first couple requests for “dates” were from married men I know. Don’t stop now! Continue reading How Not to Ask Me For a Date
By Kernut, on March 1st, 2011%
It’s time to light a match – it’s starting to stink on Match.com.
This is part four (I think, but I’m starting to lose count) of my Match.com Adventures. Part three is Match.com: The Odds Are Good That The Goods Are Odd.
Here are the latest two guys from Match.com:
Chatty Guy, is in high tech, has four kids, and likes to dominate the conversation. We had a first date, lunch at a local chain restaurant. There are no big pluses in his court, but he does have a few minuses: He bashed his ex on our two dates, he talks over me all. the. time., and he lied about his age (said 49, but is 52).
Normally, lying about age is grounds for immediate disqualification in my book, but I’ve since began to wonder if perhaps I’m still single at my ripe old age because I might be a tad too picky. With this in mind I polled my friends and readers on Facebook and here’s what they said:
 Lied About Age Guy part 1 Don’t stop now! Continue reading Time To Light A Match.com – UPDATED
By Kernut, on February 7th, 2011%
That’s the rule. There is only room for one special needs person in a relationship. In case you haven’t been here long, I’m it.
 Uhh, I sure hope my matches are better than this. Now I'm scared. What was I thinking? Why am I doing this again? Oh yeah, to find a pigeon. Crap. For all the self-help books I’ve read, group quasi-therapy, and blogging, apparently it’s still me.
I’m considering joining Match.com again and thought I should probably add to my dating profile a statement that aptly describes me. I suspect I might have tendencies towards childishness, emotional sensitivity, or grandiose behavior.
Well, DUH. I blog, don’t I?
I think that alone proves I’m probably emotionally sensitive.
Or could blogging make one emotionally sensitive?
Chicken. Egg. Don’t much care which came first.
So then, what does all this mean? It means I’m the special needs person in a relationship.
Also, this precludes attendance by anyone fitting the following descriptions. Do not reply to my ad if you can be described as:
By Kernut, on November 2nd, 2010%
For Ten Things Tuesday, a Dating Rant…
Ten Reasons Dating Sucks
A.k.a. Ten Reasons Not to Divorce, which could lead to dating. Just like smoking, dating can be dangerous for your health.
If you’re single, you’ve probably experienced many of these yourself. I would love to hear your stories in the comments. Considering divorce? Well, here’s what life would be like once you were ready to date again…
1. People are weird. That’s it. Myself included. After a certain age, the shallow end of the gene pool is what’s left.
2. And unless you’re still young and innocent, you’ve probably become choosy, not unlike myself. When I was 20, I didn’t know what I liked or wanted in a significant other, but thought I did. Now I’m XX older, and know exactly what I like and want in a significant other. When they say ‘Ignorance is bliss’, they aren’t kidding. The hard part is knowing.
3. This could happen to you: I seem to attract either married/separated men or those with severe head injuries. I wish I was kidding. As an ex-P.I., I’ve learned to run background checks on potential partners. There are some scary-ass criminals on Match.com, and they always seemed to find my profile. I think it’s my superpower, which is also my kryptonite: My blond hair. It attracts all kinds. Don’t stop now! Continue reading Ten Reasons Dating Sucks
By Kernut, on September 10th, 2010%
 My sister, Chickenbone, once told me ‘Don’t bring sand to the beach.’ Me: ??? Chickenbone: If you’re single, don’t bring a date to a party. Me: (still) ??? Chickebone: …where there are single men. Me (a minute later): Ohhhh. (the light bulb isn’t always super bright, folks) . . . → Read More: I Brought Sand To The Beach
By Kernut, on July 22nd, 2010%
 This is me. What, you thought I was human? When I’m not here, you probably think I’m out having an awesome social life, on a date, or having sex.
Sadly, no. It’s been about a year since I had a boyfriend – and he was really lousy in bed. Come to think of it, so was the one before him.
But I have been discovered – by spammers.
When I’m not here blogging (and deleting spam), I’m over here writing about Social Media (and deleting spam), or here writing about sexy stuff.
That is, when I’m not at my new job!
Yes, it’s true folks – I am no longer a government-subsidized cube dweller. I have escaped the padded cell, a.k.a. the cubicle from hell.
(Believe it or not, I didn’t get fired for asking Guy Kawasaki if he had a single brother for me. Truth be told, by then I had already given notice so there would have been no point in firing me in my last week. Heh heh.) Don’t stop now! Continue reading Social Media, Jobs, Spam, Sex and Dating – Maybe not in that order
By Kernut, on May 23rd, 2010%
Here are 5 Dating Tips… 1. Coffee dates are the kiss of death. . . . → Read More: Dating Advice From The Unqualified
By Kernut, on March 21st, 2010%
FINALLY, after a few rounds of “What’s your favorite fruit loop flavor?” eHarmony reveals the pictures to me. . . . → Read More: Internet Dating FAIL, Part 2
By Kernut, on March 17th, 2010%
Oh, it gets better. His face was orange. Yes, ORANGE. He’d used a low-quality tan-in-a-bottle to enhance his pasty skin tone. Unfortunately, BLENDING was not his strong point. Dear readers, he was a rookie at the fake-bake usage. . . . → Read More: Internet Dating FAIL, part 1
By Kernut, on March 5th, 2010%
I got flowers last night. A big bouquet of beautiful red roses. Ok, so they were from a complete stranger. But he’s totally hot. . . . → Read More: I Got Roses Last Night
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