This post is a selection of random photos from around Texas. Some I’ve had for a long time, but there hardly seemed enough story about any one of them to form a whole post by themselves. Then I had the brilliant idea to lump all the mini posts into one…
Hence, the title: Picking fly turds out of pepper.
Not that these are turds, per se, they’re merely lacking in back story. Although, some of these were taken before my photo skills improved, so they are turds in that respect.
Canyon Lake in Canyon Lake. This was taken three years ago. If you decide to visit, do not wear a sundress. Why? Because it’s windy on top of the dam. The wind will catch your skirt, flip it up, and show your rear end to everyone behind you, also walking along the dam. And then you will have to walk along the rest of the dam and back holding your skirt down with both hands. You will look silly holding your skirt down. Probably. It’s just a guess.
The dam at Canyon Lake. A nice place for a walk, but not in a dress.
New Year’s is my favorite holiday, for a lot of reasons, but mostly for the fresh beginning. (I’ve always held a secret desire to get married on New Year’s Day.) I read something today that said we don’t have to wait a whole year, but instead can make every day a Happy New Day.
So, Happy New Day!
Today, January 1st, 2015, I turned fourteen years sober. That day is a bit unique as a sobriety date and people often ask me, “How did you do it?”
“I passed out before midnight on December 31st,” I deadpan. (Only alcoholics will get this.)
Most folks answer, “One day at a time.”
The truth is it had nothing to do with passing out before midnight; I couldn’t have done it without the fellowship, and those who’ve gone before me, lighting the way. Thank you all, for my sobriety.
This includes my readers – you have been there for me, too, whether you know it or not. Your comments, your emails, even those of you who don’t contact me (I see your numbers in the stats), just knowing you’re out there and interested enough to read my drivel makes me feel connected to you all in some small way and I love you for it.
Since it’s my sober birthday, I get to write what I want. Today I want to write one of my less-than-stellar “poems” (for lack of a better word). It doesn’t rhyme well, and it’s probably grammatically incorrect (not that I’d know). This one isn’t even happy or funny, but this blog doubles as my therapist. Sorry. Feel free to skip this and come back for the next post, which is bound to be better by default.
I know how much you all love my poetry, since Train and Tumbleweed got such rave reviews… (<—dripping with sarcasm), so I wrote another poem for you. This is what happened the other night to my neighbor’s awning during another huge storm in Texas.
Ode To An Awning
A fine product by Dometic,
All shiny and new,
It blocked out the sun,
Providing shade for a few.
Holding twinkling lights
And wind chimes by the ton,
It was a silent witness
To all sorts of RV fun.
One stormy night while doing its best,
My neighbor arrived home only to see,
His awning lay in a crumpled mess.
Mother Nature won against the Dometic A&E.
Twisted metal and canvas covered the side of his rig,
His poor dog trapped inside had started to wig.
What’s left of the Dometic A&E. Do you think you could cut straighter in a thunder storm? I don’t think so.
Pescetarian (from Wiki):(pron.: /ˌpɛskɨˈtɛəriən/) (also spelled pescatarianism) is the practice of a diet that includes seafood but not the flesh of other animals. A pescetarian diet shares many of its components with a vegetarian diet and includes vegetables, fruit, nuts, grains, beans, eggs, and dairy, but unlike a vegetarian diet also includes fish and shellfish. The Merriam-Webster dictionary dates the origin of the term “pescetarian” to 1993 and defines it to mean: “one whose diet includes fish but no other meat”.
Bacontarian: A person who supplements an otherwise normal diet – like the one above – with bacon. Lots of bacon.
Before coming to Texas, the land of red meat and BBQ, I ate bacon only once in a while. I was pretty much a healthy pescetarian (but with copious amounts of chocolate).
But in Texas? I was probably the only pescetarian – at least the only one in cow country. No one here has heard of that word. Before I stopped describing myself as a “pescetarian”, Texans gave me the strangest look whenever I uttered (and then had to explain) my diet.
So now I’m a bacontarian, something Texans can respect.
But I’m still adding copious amounts of chocolate to my diet. I heard there is chocolate covered bacon but I have yet to taste it. I looked it up on Amazon… what do you think??
That’s me… busier than a cat trying to cover up crap on a marble floor.
The squirrel video is posted (or will be as soon as it uploads to my YouTube channel, which is currently happening at a snail’s pace), but I wanted to update you all on items from the last post.
Sorry, there have not been any more people doing the nasty in the park wearing nothing but boots. This post is mostly fluff and random updates to keep us all occupied while I wait for the squirrel video to load.
Kitties, kitties, and more kitties
I did not get the kitty I mentioned before. She was sick every time I went to see her and/or adopt her. While the ailments are things that will eventually go away with treatment (worms, skin fungus, the sniffles, kitty acne), she’s just not being medicated or watched closely so as to take care of those issues in a timely manner. Even when brought to someone’s attention, issues have gone unmedicated. And as much as I wanted to save her – or any kitty – from that, I just can’t take care of a sick cat again for a long time. So I’ve opted not to get one at all for a while. (Sadly, none of the cats at this local shelter are fairing any better. Cross-contamination runs rampant among the rescued kitties. It’s terribly sad. I’ve considered reporting them, but then what would happen to the kitties when the facility is shut down? I fear they’d be euthanized.)
Well, I’ve since found out they are also referring to the bugs. And the Texas-sized mosquitoes. The blood-sucking mosquitoes are huge, and persistent. One was trapped in my car yesterday. At first I thought it was a housefly, that’s how big it was. The size of a housefly.
This one is in Florida and smaller than the Texas mosquitoes. (Photo courtesy of "ajmexico" at http://www.flickr.com/photos/ajmexico/6446298545/)
Holy Flying Vampires, y’all!They actually chased me around the property at which I’m work-camping!
Two things that need shootin’: Varmints in your RV, and Stalkers
It’s been a week of things that need shootin’. (Note the dropped “g” – I’m already starting to sound like a Texan. Just know it happens very fast, people, very fast.)
(A note for my new readers: Last summer I bought my first RV and immediately became a full-timer. I’m single, and drive a mid-size Class A. I travel with my cat, Checkers – the copilot who can’t read maps, and a rare house guest/visitor. I’ve learned I’m a bit of a Glamper – I don’t like to sacrifice the little niceties to live the nomadic lifestyle. If this paragraph hasn’t bored you to tears and you want to know more, you can learn about my travels here, me here, and get zombie t-shirts and stuff here. What? Everyone needs zombie stuff.)
And now back to our regularly scheduled programming…
All night long it went, coming from somewhere under my rig, but within the chassis or walls.
The loudness of the thumps indicated it was probably a squirrel. It seemed to pull on something (such as my wiring!) and as its body jerked back with the motion, it would hit the wall behind it.
I didn’t find where it was getting in, but I did manage to get rid of the little monster for the rest of the night and finally get back to sleep.
As soon as it was late enough the following morning so as not to piss off my neighbors, I turned on the generator, started the engine and let both run for 30 minutes while I pulled the slides in and the jacks up. Then I covered the area beneath my rig with mothballs, and got an ultrasonic pest control device. So far, so good.
For Ten Things Tuesday, I thought I’d give y’all some more important information. You know, ’cause I like you to leave this blog feeling like you got a little chuckle out of it and that you’re a little smarter for having come here.
And so you can say you come here to learn something. It’s kind of like when you say you read Playboy for the articles. Not that you do that.
Ten Things I Learned This Past Week
1. I can wear my underwear inside out for half the day before I notice. As @CardsfanClaytweeted: ‘As long as they weren’t on the outside it’s fine.’ Good point.
2. Installing a right-click/copy prevention plugin is upsetting to some of my readers. I had no idea – I swear! I’ve turned off the right-click thingy. The text that used to pop up was my attempt at humor, I don’t actually check anyone’s IP address or send them to the blog police. And NO, I seriously don’t think my stuff is worth stealing, but the thieves aren’t picky, apparently. I saw some of their sites – and while they did steal some top-notch stuff, they also stole pure crap, like what you read here. Anyway, that’s probably why everyone’s stopped commenting on my site anymore. I’m sure it’s not my writing. But, wait! There’s more…