Kernut the Blond

On today, Black Friday, I am not shopping. I need groceries at the moment, but I’d rather not brave the hordes of frenzied consumers after they’ve spent a sleepless night in a lawn chair in front of some big box store because they are hell-bent on saving a few bucks on the latest/bigger/faster/shinier piece of equipment.

As a subtle protest to consumerism and our conditioned “need” to have the latest/bigger/faster/shinier piece of whatever, today’s post is mostly brought to you by the Amish, people who make a practice of avoiding such pursuits.

This made me laugh when I first saw it: a barn for the Amish buggies – at Walmart!! Yes, the Walmarts in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, are different that all the other Walmarts I’ve visited across the country.

Amish buggy barn at Walmart in Ephrata, Pennsylvania.

A couple Amish Jokes:

Robbery

Two fellers were in desperate need of cash, but admittedly were a bit cowardly.
So the one suggested they break into the Amish market.
The logic being that since the Amish were non-resistant, even if they were caught, no harm could befall them.
Thus they carried out their plot.
However, just as they were breaking into the cash register, the owner turned on the lights and confronted them, a shotgun pointed directly at them.
Calmly, the Amish man said, “Boys, I would never do thee any harm, yet you are standing where I am about to shoot.”

Keeping Warm

An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an open buggy one cold, blustery January day.
The daughter said to the mother, “My hands are freezing cold.”
The mother replied, “Put your hands between your legs. The body heat will warm them up.”
So the daughter did, and her hands warmed up.
The next day, the daughter was riding in the buggy with her boyfriend.
The boyfriend said, “My hands are freezing cold.”
The daughter said, “Put them between my legs, they’ll warm up.” But, wait! There’s more…