(A southern saying indicating surprise or astonishment. And that, my dear Kernutties, is your lesson for today.)
Imagine my surprise and delight when I discovered there was a Toilet Seat Art Museum in San Antonio. I know!
Toilet seat art – “Time is precious. Don’t waste it.” This one has tiny colored lights!
Barney Smith, the toilet seat artist, the toilet seat museum curator, and the toilet seat tour guide, recently turned 94. He’s been creating toilet seat art for over 50 years and is still going strong. Each toilet seat has a theme: there are toilet seats for most every profession, events, and for many celebrities.
A seven-foot-tall jackalope was spotted in Wimberley, Texas!
The furry jackrabbit-antelope hybrid was seen wearing a horse saddle, and galloping through Hill Country after throwing a unknown blond rider.
I have a feeling none of you are surprised by my attempt at a shocking headline.
I can’t even surprise you all anymore, can I? *sigh*
Pioneer Town, Wimberley, Texas
Pioneer Town, Wimberley, Texas – Home of the Jackalope
Pioneer Town, a replica of a mid-1800s western town, has all the requirements of an old western movie set: a dirt main street, a blacksmith shop, a livery stable, a post office, a print shop, a general store, old houses, a steepled church, and an opera house. It also has a cowboy museum and requisite souvenir shop,… and a giant jackalope.
Because every mid-1800’s western town had a giant jackalope. Probably.
Well, this post is loooong overdue. (Yes, the extra vowels help. I don’t know why, they just do.) Be prepared for the possibility of more long overdue posts – I’ve got a new gig working as an editor/reporter at a local newspaper.
This car is made of spoons, forks, and other pieces of scrap metal.
Scrap Art Cars in Beeville, Texas
Beeville is a cute town, just on the edge of the Eagle Ford Shale (the big area of land running diagonally across the middle of south central Texas where most of the oil and gas come from). There was a fantastic art car and scrap metal exhibit at the Beeville Art Museum almost a year ago (that there is the long overdue part). The exhibit was one of the better museum displays I’ve seen, and this was in a small town with a population of about 13,000.
The artist, Mark “Scrap Daddy” Bradford, makes cars out of gazillions of shiny spoons and forks, or random metal scraps. He’s talented, artistic and a tad quirky. Not to mention he’s rather easy on the eyes.
And he lives in Texas, somewhere hear Houston, a few hours from my current location. I’d like to meet this man.
The current weather seems to have more temperatures than a faucet, much like some of my recent dating experiences. This past weekend it was hot and heavy at 105 degrees in southcentral Texas. At the moment, the weather is a chillingly cool 80 degrees at 9pm.
When I lived in Santa Barbara it reached 124 (or 126?) degrees one year — we beat Death Valley’s record temperature that year by a degree or two. The black top at school was melting. You couldn’t stand on it for very long because your shoes would melt, too. It was the one day we kids got to wear shorts to school.
Hmm, closing the school might have been a good idea, ya think? School Official: Nah, let ’em cook their little brains out on the blacktop on the hottest day of the last 100 years. This may explain a lot about me.
With the current heat wave sweeping over parts of the world, I thought some of you would enjoy seeing some snow. The snow comes with a tiny church. (Quite a segue, eh?)
Faith comes in all sizes.
Wayside Chapel in Luverne, MN, another World’s Smallest Church
This is from my trip a couple months ago to the frozen tundra that was South Dakota after the worst storm in twenty years. After completing my mission, I But, wait! There’s more…
That’s not one of my many typos — I really see butt cracks.
A lot of butt crack, enough crack to swipe a credit card.
I changed to a new space at the RV park: it’s on the water with spectacular views of the setting sun. There were two open spaces in this row. I took one next to a friend, and a couple moved in to the one on the other side of me.
And that man must not own any belts to hold up his shorts.
The couple parked in front of me have a motorhome, but prefer to be outside all day long, no matter how hot it is. They cook all meals outside. They are really tent campers who happen to own an RV.
But no belts.
It is probably clear by my tone that the aforementioned butt crack is NOT the hot one.
Statue of David in Sioux Falls, South Dakota.
Ahh, now there’s a nice butt crack.
Now there a nice butt crack.
Be grateful I did NOT take a photo of my neighbor’s butt crack.
With an abundance of my much-missed Starbucks/any coffee shop and health food restaurants, Austin reminds me a bit of many cities in California. And there’s quite a bit of fun, wacky stuff to see in Austin, the capital of Texas – besides the big blue spider butt.
This post was going to be about the Largest Urban Bat Colony, but my photography skills the photos suck could be better (but are shown below anyway because I still think that’s much more interesting than a state capitol building).
You’ll just have to trust me… there are hundreds of bats in this photo.
Really, there are hundreds of bats in the above photo. See that blotch that looks like a swarm of bees going across the center? That’s the bats. I’m so glad you can see them. (Just pretend you can.)
They live under the Congress Avenue bridge in downtown Austin. They fly out around sunset, usually between March and November. The photos below are of the bridge. If you go to see the bats, wait on the other side of the bridge because this isn’t the side they fly out of. But the pictures are prettier on this side.
Sculpture near Tower of the Americas, aka The Tower of Doom.
Most of my adventures and travels center around seeing those weird and the wacky sights you can only find in America. But every now and then I come across something wonderful in my travels, such as the North Rim of the Grand Canyon.
While San Antonio’s Riverwalk and the Tower of the America’s may not be as awe-inspiring as the natural beauty and grandeur of the Grand Canyon, they still took my breath away.
San Antonio Riverwalk at Christmas. (Yeah, it’s a shitty photo. Sorry, but you’ll just have to fill in the blanks.)
Once again, my photography skills won’t do justice to the scenery, but the San Antonio Riverwalk at Christmastime is stunning. All of the trees are vertically draped with Christmas lights. More lights decorate the floating gondolas and the bridges.
But wait! Just when you thought my crappy photos were all you had, my friend sent this great photo of Santa riding in a boat on the Riverwalk… But, wait! There’s more…
[cue Aerosmith’s (Going Down) Love In An Elevator]
The Natural Bridge Caverns in New Braunfels were my first caverns ever. Yes, I was a “cavern virgin”.
However, unlike that other “first time”, I thought the caverns were great fun. (Don’t worry, I’ve since come to greatly appreciate more than underground caverns. Thank goodness first impressions aren’t always what they seem.)
These caverns are considered the largest in Texas, and were discovered in 1960. What else can you really say about caverns? They’re underground, damp, and full of weird-looking formations. They’re probably really dark, too, when not run as a tourist attraction loaded with artificial lights…
How can you not love a town with castles, energy vortexes, fertility deities, and huge phallic rocks?!
Sedona, Arizona has everything a traveler could want. Well, travelers who like men.
Shall we start with the spiritual stuff, and work our way down? Err, I mean south. Wait, scratch that. NO, NO, don’t scratch that!
Sedona, in case you’ve never been, is known for its spiritual and metaphysical community. The town has four energy vortexes, places where you are likely to feel energy coming up from the earth.
Whether it was the suggestion of such or an actual spiritual experience, my friend (the one I connected with while standing on a corner in Winslow, Arizona), and I both “felt” something. (Now, now. Remember we’re talking about the spiritual stuff here.)
This is a view of Sedona from the top of the Airport Rd Vortex.
Me: I felt it, did you? Him: *dirty laugh* I felt a lot of things.