<rant on> (That’s code for “the following is more rant than post”, thankyouverymuch. That’s also a disclaimer. I just need to get this out so I can move on with the dating. If you’re new here, I Joined Match.com. I blame the cold medicine is the first in this series, and continues with Adventures in Online Dating, then Match.com The Odds Are Good That the Goods Are Odd, and Time To Light A Match.com. We are now at post number five, a rant. The others are better.

You are under no obligation to read further, but your assistance with the question at the end is greatly appreciated.)

This is terrible.

Just terrible.

I’m becoming jaded. Jaded by the lack-luster, creepy, freaky, sex-starved oddballs who contact me on Match. Very few bother to read my profile. Very. few.

How Not To Match.com

First off, just don’t join. When I started this it was to honestly find someone to date, and with whom to hopefully form a nice, long-term relationship. Now I’m fighting becoming jaded. And I’m not sure I’m succeeding.

While it takes a LOT of weeding through garbage to find the nice guys in the mix, it seems hardly worth it when you have to contend with the buggy, glitchy software, and the crappy Match.com interface.

• It automatically sends “winks” as if they’re from me! To people at whom I would not choose to wink.

• Match selects a “Daily 5” and also emails another set of so-called matches, supposedly based on your preferences. Not. The only thing these “matches” have in common with my preferences was the fact they were male. Many are not even in my desired area.

• And then there’s all the email you get from people across the country or spammers without real profiles. No way to block that out. You can “filter” it, but it just goes to a separate inbox.

• Oh, and go ahead and just TRY to cancel your subscription. I dare you. It took me FIVE attempts to cancel it. I only “think” it’s canceled now, but I can’t really be sure until I see my credit card statement. They asked me to complete and exit survey – and I did – complete with a scathing review of the glitches, and BS “matches”.

Once you get past all that, here’s what you’ll find in your inbox. These are actual emails I’ve received – each line IS the ENTIRE email.

nice 69 gto judge

nice pic

Hi 🙂 How is everything? – Leon (When did this become a Chat Forum??)

hey there… how are you? reed (this was from a 55 year old, looking for 18-45 year olds). How am I? Not interested in pedophiles, that’s how I am.

I like your pics.

WOW!  Your beautiful.

Your very pretty. Want to chat? (They typo is not mine, for once. He sent THREE almost identical versions of this email. Three. In a row.)

Have they no game? Or shame??

Complimenting a woman’s looks is nice. The first time or two. After that it just seems shallow when it’s the only attribute ever mentioned. How about funny, fun, nice, likable, smart, smartass, or sex-starved oddball?? Ok, I may not be many of those, but I only want to date someone who can see more than blond hair and a few curves.

I’ve already had to block half a dozen freaks. Mostly for not taking “not interested” for an answer. One was just convinced The Universe wanted us to meet.

Everyone wanted to know about the GTO. I even put a caption under the photo saying: “Sorry, the gal does not come with this car”. But, nooo, they all wanted to know about the car. I cropped the picture so the car is now unrecognizable. This has also cut down on emails.

Many emails are obviously copied a pasted. In one such email, the guy wrote to me, but forgot to change the previous gal’s name as it started out “Hi Melanie”. Kinda makes me wonder if he’d shout out the wrong name during sex.

There are some emails from sweet, young 30-somethings far outside of my already wide dating range. Sweet, but we have nothing in common. They still want babies, and to go to bars. You just can’t do BOTH.

</rant off> Thanks, I needed to get that out. I already feel better.

I’ve been researching where people met their significant other. I polled my friends on Facebook. The small majority said ‘the bar’, but many were just random places: a blind date, a friend of the ex, the gym, work. But the best has to be a couple who met 13 years ago as patients at a sober living home. They’ve lived together since day one. That seems like cheating. Way to make it easy, people.

The first chart, Where People Look For A Mate, says ‘friends-of-friends’ is number one, and ‘the bars’ is number two.

The second chart, Where People Find A Mate, says ‘place of work’ was number one, and the bar’ was number two.

This sucks. I gave up drinking 10 years ago, and I gave up working over three months ago. I hope that last one is rectified soon or I’ll have to change my profile headline to read something like “Homeless Chick Looking for Sugar Daddy”.

Where did you meet your significant other?? Here’s where I can use your help. Even though it’s number three (on this list – it’s number nine of ten on others) the online thing isn’t going so well, so I’m thinking I need to find a better place. Tell me how/where you met your mate.