Hotter than a June bride in a feather bed — 10 Comments

  1. Two Houston Texans fans died in a terrible pickup truck Crash. Since they had led terrible lives, they were sent to Hell and greeted by Satan. Satan wasn’t pleased that they didn’t seem to mind the heat and turned the thermostat up. The Texans fans weren’t bothered a bit and seemed to enjoy it. Satan turned the furnace up to full blast and eventually couldn’t couldn’t stand it himself. The Houston Texans fans laughed at Satan.

    Satan finally figured it out and turned off the heat entirely. Rivers of molten rock cooled and eventually Hell was covered in sheets of ice. Satan checked on the two Texans and was shocked to see them laughing and dancing and hi-fiving. “What the Hell is wrong with you two?”, Satan bellowed. One of them answered, “Well, Hell just froze over, The Houston Texans must have won the Super Bowl!”

    • I take it they’re bad. Weren’t they once called the Oilers? I don’t follow football much, but I do know high school football trumps all games in Texas. College football is second, and AFL/NFL third.

  2. I would rig up a fake alligator and when the tubers come into sight, start reeling him across the river. (If you don’t have gators, a snake will do.) If people are going to be floating across your back yard, it might as well be entertaining.

    • That might present a bigger problem… In Texas they shoot every critter that moves. My decoy would be shot full of holes by the first tuber.

  3. Not for your headline, but:
    Hotter than a fresh fucked fox in a forest fire.
    Sorry, I didn’t make it up, just repeating what I’ve heard!

  4. The oilers moved to Tennessee, became the Tennessee Oilers. Then the Tennessee Titans. The Houston Texans is an entirely new team. With a dumb name.

    Yours truly,

    Ex-Houstonian and Oilers fan.

    • Once upon a time, I had a Houston Oilers t-shirt. (They were first the “Houston” Oilers, right?) That was a great shirt. (I wonder what happened to it.?)

      They’ve must be the only team that’s changed names that often.