Guest Post: A Holiday Letter From Da Kitteh
Oh hai internet! Dis ar teh anothr guest post frum teh kitteh. Remembr me? Sure u do! Mah hooman often talkz bout me. Im also teh co-pilot on her rv trip around teh country. I doan read maps yet, but Im lernin.
(Editor’s note: The following is a holiday letter from my cat and I to the interwebs. It’s written in LOL speak, and you can find more of it plus many funny cat pictures at ICanHasCheezeburger.com. If you don’t like LOL Speak, feel free to skip this.
Some of you are new here, and probably haven’t seen this letter before. Every year I send a similar letter from my cat to my patient and understanding friends and relatives. I say ‘patient and understanding’ because they have yet to lock me up. But there’s always tomorrow.)

I took this really awesome video of a fantastic light display for you all - twice - but there was an issue both times. Sorry. Instead, here's a crappy out-of-focus photo. Yeah, I'm about as good with giving the right gift, too.
Da Kitteh’s Holiday Letter to da Interwebz
Iz tiem again 4 da holidai update lettr frum teh kitteh! Since mah hooman an all her relativez enjoy them so mutch, im doin them evry yer nao. Im vry happeh 2 do dis post 4 u, 2.
2011 has been an amazin yer! I turnd 17 last cud an i still feelz an act liek young kitteh. Mom, hoo swears shez still 27, took gud care ov me, as always. I got lotz da speshul treats, an slept lot an playd lot, 2. Mah health issuez continue, but wif teh awful medicine i feelz pritee gud. Life iz rly gud 4 spoild kitteh liek me.
Dis yer mah hooman buyd da houz! Before u git 2 excitd, it be houz on wheels. Teh houz iz vry nice inside, but i doan liek teh wheels. We nao travel teh country an she writez bout it on heer an on Yahoo! She wuz also in 2 tv commercials an nao has small segment on tv show startin in January or February to air in northern California.
Im nao kitteh on teh road.
So far weve traveld around teh southwest 4 2 months. Mah hooman lovez it so much an cant wait 2 git bak out on teh road again! Were spendin teh holidais in northern california wif teh familiez.
Again, she did sum datin ov othr humanz an wrote lotz da funny storiez bout them on dis blog. She remains single as it seems 2 werk bettr wif her plan 2 travel 2 teh country. I liek it when shez single – thars moar room in da bed 4 me. I taek mah half ov teh bed out ov teh middle.
She sez bloggin iz wan ov teh best things, next 2 me ov course. She lovez her readers an bloggy frenz lot, an appreciatez teh luv, emails, an comments she gets frum u all. It warms her hart.
A meow-out 2 teh lotz da fellow kitteh travelers. An mah sympathiez. All travelers shud has kittehs so they can halp their humanz. Yu can never hav tu meny kittehs – we are teh best companions. You shuld go get a nu kitteh rite now. Is gud fur you.
Go nowz. I wate fur you.
Got nu kittehs? Gud.
Speaking of good, I was a vera good kitteh agin dis year, as alwayz. I keept teh RV house on wheels free of mice, bugz and teh spyderz. (Ed.: Not really on the bugs.) My hooman stil ashurs meh I iz not a bad kitteh jus bekaws I hawcked up a few hair ballz, and dat teh Santa wil still visit our house agin dis year. Since I wuz a vera gud kitteh, I xpect to getz da meny prezunts agin. I iz a vera happi kitteh!
I hop you all getz meny toyz an speshul treets in yur stockinz!
Wishing you all a Merry Catmas, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, Merry AnythingIMissed, and a Happy New Year!
Much Luv and Furry Blessings,
Checkers and Kernut the Blond
Houz on wheels!? Am I pronouncing this right? O.D.B. would be proud.
Wu-Tang 4 life
I had to look up O.D.B. and Wu-Tang. It should now be apparent I don’t get out much.
LOL Speak is da language of da kittehs, but not realy da rapperz. Unlez da kittehs iz also da rapperz. See icanhascheezburger.com for the funny kitteh pikturs.
Ol Dirty once changed his name to Dirt Mcgirt. I’m just helping you out here in case you get a million dollar rap trivia question. He also once hooked up with Mariah Carey and she sang about it, good pull for that fool.haha
I think LOL speak and ebonics are very similar. lol
Good Night, I’m out, biking back to da slab hood.
It’s Dirty and it’s stinking,
mb
ps. Merry Christmas. The story was great, I can actually visualize the cat typing it. Checkers also made no mention of watching movies. I find that interesting.
I think you’re right, ebonics and LOL speak are closely related.
Hope you had a safe trip back to da slab ‘hood, free of snakes, scorpions, and giant tarantulas.
Merry Christmas to you, too! Tell Chuck “Merry Christmas!”, too.
Wuts dis bout moviez? Wuts movie?
Merry Catmas to you, too!
Made it back in one piece. Chuck says Hi and Merry Christmas. I’m working on the skype thing. Chuck claims there are other things that are free also, I don’t think I will post any of those here as they’re kinda weird.
Shout out to Checkers.
God made Dirt and Dirt don’t hurt,
Hiker Mike
Thanks for the great Christmas letter. I’m working on my kitty-speak but currently have to settle for writing in standard English (more or less). We love Kernut’s blog and read it every chance we get. Have a wonderful Christmas and a spectacular 2012!
Iz ok. I’m still lerning teh English. My hooman iz vera happy to hear you lyk her blog. She sends teh luv and hugz.
Merry Catmas, Zaki!
I swear your kitteh is ghost writing all the Facebook status updates I see from my teenage nieces. OK, kitteh’s spelling is probably better.
Merry Christmas, Kernut (an kitteh). Hope Santa finds you where ever you park.
Mah hooman sez im liek 3-yer-old kid. I finkz im moar liek teenagr – an u jus provd mah point. Thx!
Merry Catmas 2 u and yurs!
merry christmas checkers and kernut, slab city misses you.
Our cat got another dog for xmas. She has five now. Our cat now hates xmas.
Dude, do you hate your kitty? Shit, after Buttercup disappeared, I eventually got Checkers a kitten. She seemed lonely without her sister around. I was very wrong. She did not like Tigger at all, a cute polydactyl.
At least I got her another cat. Maybe I should have tried a puppy.