Animals Behaving Very Badly – NSFW
WARNING: This post is probably not safe for work if, as The Bloggess would say, you’re boss is a total douche-canoe.
It all started with this perverted email my old P.I. boss sent me. He sends me the best freaky stuff. He is not a douche-canoe. Thanks B!
That email spurred an internet search that turned up all kinds of interesting things. Animal crime sprees, animal sex acts, and all kinds of crazy stuff. I will spare you the really freaky.
I learned a new word: Zoophilia. (DO NOT GOOGLE THAT) They say you should learn something new every day. Unfortunately, that was it. *sigh*
During my search, this link of Crimes Sprees Carried Out By Animals came up.
Can we really blame them?
Can we really say a monkey who takes our drinks is a thief? An alcoholic, yes, but it needs to be breaking a law to be committing a crime and considered a thief. Last I heard they were no laws governing what monkeys can or cannot do. They’re allowed to drink and drive because they’re not expressly prohibited from doing so.
Yes, my new job is with attorneys. Sorry, I’ll stop now.
Ok, on with the show… uh, so to speak. (The NSFW stuff follows…)
A party of one. He just has no sense of privacy.
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Another happy camper. This one seems to be a bit of an exhibitionist.
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Umm, I don't even know what to say.
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Note this is obviously taking place at the zoo. Do not take your kids.
This pose is all too familiar.
Soooo, do you think we got our mating habits from apes? Does this prove the theory of evolution? I think so. On both counts.
Timeless info. I can’t tell you how often we discuss topics like this in group. If drunks are seekers why are they so lost. And if they are just hiding, why do they always get found.
I think the monkeys need an AA group. Maybe we should start one for them?
pass the eye bleach! men, they’re the same in all species.
LOL Too true! I think this pretty much proves we evolved from monkeys. Or… cavemen sure spent a lot of time imitating them.
You mention such a great things here and it is always pleassure to read. Hope to hear more and learn from you.
Thank you! Although, I think this post may have lost a reader or two.
OMG. That small monkey is living the dream of many men!
Yes, I almost made a reference to that affect in my post, but feared I had already offended enough of my readers with the photos alone.
He Who Love All Thing Wicked officially wishes he could go back a few steps in the evolutionary chain now! hehehe
He, and a lot of men! Mother Nature must have been thinking ahead when she gave us humans spines lacking that range of motion… I suspect little would get done if she hadn’t.
I laughed until I peed. This shit is funny!! I especially like the expression on the Orangutan’s face while he gets blown…LOL Priceless!!
p.s. Thanks for stopping by MCE 🙂 xoxo
That expression is sooo male it crosses species!
You’re welcome! Thank you, too!
This? Is perfect!
True story, I was at a *Zoo* in Mexico with my new boyfriend (now husband) when a monkey latched on to it’s chainlink enclosure and humped the air with it’s hard on in front of three little Mexican Catholic School girls.
Sigh, those were the days.
Sounds like a romantic date to me! LOL You have to wonder where these monkeys learned this, or does it just come to them?
Yes, I think the expression in the last picture is hysterical.
I’m still waiting for the other set of pics. The ones you didn’t show.
You dirty boy! 😉 The other pics are not as funny. One had a monkey laying on his back, with his butt in the air, just over his head. His mouth was open and he was peeing directly into it. It was just too eeeew, even for this blog.
I once got shit on by a Barbary Ape. It was not sexy. The end.
OMG! How horrible, but also sounds like the making of a great post! I hope you write about it! Sorry, I must be a bit of a sadist.
I would like to start my own blog one day. This was a really nice blog that you made here. Keep up the success 😛
I just signed up to your blogs rss feed. Will you post more on this subject?
It was a surprisingly popular topic, so I just might.