Remember the days when I used to post Ten Things? Yeah, me neither.

For those of you who are new here, or those of you with a memory like mine, I have a treat for you. Allow me to present: Ten Things Tuesday on a day that may or may not be Tuesday. 

This living in the country is new to me. As many of you know, I lived in a suburbian ecosystem for many years. That’s not to say I lived an overly sheltered life, but those are stories for another day, many of which have already been published on this blog. Ahem.

It’s merely that I’ve found life in the Texas country to be very different from life in the California suburbs. Not bad, just different. Since I’m coming from that perspective, this post will probably only be funny to those who’ve also spent too many years in a suburbian ecosystem.

Ten Thing you will only find in the country:

Only in the country…

will everyone call you “Ma’am” or “Sir”.

will a neighbor’s goats come to graze in your yard.

Have you had goats graze in *your* yard?

in the middle of town, will you see someone with a rifle shooting at critters. And it’s legal.

will you hear shots fired all day long and never see a cop.

will you see an intentional fire next to the road. It’s could be brush they’re burning, it could also be garbage.

Burning brush. Not it suburbia.

will you see more trucks than any other kind of vehicle.

will you drive behind a tractor on the Highway. I am not making this shit up.

Ok, so this is not a tractor, but you see a lot of cow butt on the road, too.

will you see people leave their truck running when they go into the store — and the truck will still be there when they come out 30 minutes later.

will you have breakfast with bovines.

Breakfast with bovines.

will you see clothing in a color called “oilfield”. (It was baseball caps. I will try to get a picture and post it on my Facebook page.)

The new black. (Note the “Panic Button”. Guess who they installed that for?)

And only in the Texas country will you see funny town names like:

• Cheapside
• Cost
• Concrete
• Cuero (it means “leather” in Spanish)
• Muleshoe
• Spur
• Dime Box (there’s a post coming on Dime Box)
• Happy
• Joy
• Smiley
• Gun Barrel City
• Cut and Shoot

I am NOT making this up. Even Google knows about it. I’ve been to a few of these, and there wasn’t much there.