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Q & A Sexionnaire — 6 Comments

  1. Do you have any good suggestions for my next tantric adventure? My girlfriend is a little shy yet I am enjoying the experience. Any words of wisdom from my local goddess? Thanks

    • ‘Local Goddess’ …Bless you for saying so 🙂 I’m glad to hear someone! is enjoying Tantra. I wish I could give you some great tips, and tell you about some great experiences I’ve had… I really do. 🙂

      I have to ask about your girlfriend… your inquiry makes me think she may not quite “get” it. Does she meditate regularly? (Daily, or at least a few times a week – for 30 minutes or more.) Has she ever experienced that “oneness”? Does she crave to have it again? (I sure as shit do.)

      But tell me, why is she shy? Addressing this may be the best place to start. Is it the whole leaving the lights on/body insecurity thing? Or the deep emotional and physical intimacy? (BTW – That aspect of Tantra can be difficult for someone who’s had past emotionally negative, or abusive sexual experiences.)

      I love the Tantric Massage video clip (posted in a previous article) and think that’s a fabulous way to start and build intimacy slowly. But it sounds like you guys may have already started practicing and she’s not enjoying it as much? Consider letting her know it doesn’t have to end in sex, and not every encounter has to be Tantric. She may feel pressure to have the whole tantric event “be” a certain way.

      If it’s a lights on/body issue, I suggest using very little light, or a bunch of candles. Let her get used to the idea of showing her body. Let her know how much you like *seeing* it. Men are very visual creatures (not that I need to tell you 😉 ). Let her know that turns you on (if it does).

      As for the next step? Personally, I LIVE for that soul-connecting moment/experience in Tantric lovemaking. There really is no higher point – at least for me. If you haven’t been there, do what you can to find that place. Here’s a great Tantric Sex eBook. The first page explains it all.

    • Oh no. Have you ever considered maybe he likes “sleeping” sex? I was slowly woken up that way once by a boyfriend, and well, I loved it. He took a loooong time with me while I was sleeping, just caressing me, fondling… It was one of the better sexperiences we had in five years. And for all the sex we had, there weren’t a lot of great experiences. It’s still in my top ten of all time.

      Ahem, sorry I got carried away.

      Back to you and your hubby. Sounds like hubby needs to work on the romance, the courting, building the anticipation. The Foreplay before the Foreplay.

      If he doesn’t step up, wear Granny panties to bed. If that doesn’t give him the hint, you can get a Willie Nelson vattoo (like in BugginWord’s Vattooing)… that’ll keep him away.