Maybe the matches will light a fire and flush out the good ones on Match.com.
(If this is your first time here, the Match.com Misadventures starts with this post.)
Since my prospects were dwindling on Match.com, I’ve taken to contacting men first. Some I just send a wink to, and others I email.
I’m only initiating contact because when I polled you all, you said it wasn’t going to negatively impact the potential relationship.
That, and I’m desperate to find good matches.
Here are the matches with whom I’m currently playing…
Zen Biker Guy – (He wrote to me first.) He’s 50, lives in the mountains, loves his dog, and has a dreaded Harley. This Harley is of the “Lone Wolf” variety. This means it’s set up for only one rider – him. He’s divorced, no kids, eats healthy, doesn’t drink, and is hugely into meditation – all pluses. I’ll overlook the Lone Wolf Harley for those pluses.
Our first date was a coffee date. He didn’t look like his pictures (older, heavier, dressed much worse), but close enough that I could still recognize him. He is a big talker; I could hardly get a word in edge-wise. He arrived for the date covered in dirt, after dirt-bike riding right before the date. Apparently he wasn’t concerned with putting on a clean shirt and pants. Or first impressions.
ZBG wanted to go to dinner right then, but I thought it better to give him a chance to find a nice outfit. We’ve got a dinner date planned where he will get a second chance to make a first impression.
Coast Guard Guy – (I winked at him first.) He’s 46, has two kids, is in the middle of a divorce, works in the Coast Guard Reserves, and is super hot in his photos. He’s got a mark against him for being mid-divorce.
Our first date was also a coffee date. He also looked older than his photos, but still very attractive. We spent about three hours walking around the downtown area, but I don’t think either of us felt a spark. He was really funny in email, but seemed a bit on the quiet side in person. I’d be willing to chalk it up to first date nerves, and give it another shot, but I don’t think he’s interested.
Update: Turns out he is interested and we’re trying to schedule a second date, possibly hiking.
Hiker Guy – (I winked at him first.) He’s 55, divorced, no kids, successfully self-employed for his whole life, hugely into hiking, and healthy eating, and doesn’t drink. Also? Talks A LOT.
Funny story: We have friends in common, and have met several times. I winked at him, and about a week later I got back a rejection FORM LETTER. The kind of form letter Match.com provides at the click of a button.
Well, I didn’t want it to be awkward when I see him again, probably next week when I’m going to a mutual friend’s, so I wrote this:
Hi (Hiker Guy, not his real name)
Doh, shot down by form letter! (I had to tease you about that. 😉 I never send them in reply, but maybe from a guy’s point of view it’s better than no reply?
Well, I’m sure I’ll see you again in (secret location) soon. I think I’ll be there next week. Just wanted to say “hi” here so it wouldn’t be awkward.
Best of luck to you in your search!
And I got this back right away:
Well now you have my full attention. I’m on vacation so when I checked my match site i just said no to everything.So we know each other from (secret place) ??? I’m thinking my brain is really on vacation to not remember you. You are so cute I just don’t know what to say. Do you go often?I saw (your far away location) and just passed. Just started this a month ago and not really that good for me so far. Perhaps you are about to change that. I’m way up the coast near Eureka and not returning until mid next week . My cel is ### or send me yours and I’ll call. That will give me time to rack my brain and remember you. Help me out if you feel like it !!!!!
He figured it out a couple hours later all by himself. We’ve chatted on the phone a few times now. He’s another big talker, and I can hardly get a word in. He’s really interested in and enthusiastic about us having a real date, which I find endearing. Even though I’ve offered to, he’s also quite willing to drive the 1.5 hour distance to my place. (Hey Biker Boy #1, take note.)
Biker Boy #1 – Wrote to me about six times, over a few days, two weeks after I blew off his rude self. He seemed to be fishing, hoping for a reconnection. He wanted to make sure we’re still friends. I said of course we were. Then he mentioned how I keep coming up as his only 100% match. (Oh well, you should have thought of that before you refused to ever drive to my house, and only wanted me to drive out to yours.) After I told him I wasn’t even searching in this area, he stopped emailing.
Boat Boy – You all remember him? Well his boat – the one without the motor – was in that harbor that got trashed by the tsunami here in California. They had no motor with which to get it out to sea. Bummer.
I’m currently swamped with taxes, and a new hobby, and then the sun came out. Time for dating is scarce, but I have one nice dinner planned with Hiker Guy for this week. Hope I get to talk, too.