The Life of Pye: Two Cures for Cat-induced Sleep Deprivation

Kernut the Blond Posted on by

The Life of Pye is a sporadically-posted series about the cat who adopted me.

I’m a bit overdue for an update on Pye. She is still here, tearing up my RV, but there have been some changes. Here’s the latest…

Cat-induced sleep deprivation.

As I’ve mentioned before, Pye does not sleep at night. She considers night time the best time for attacking the bedsheet wrinkles or my sleeping feet.

The sleep deprivation was getting to me. Since Pye is a water-loving freak of cat nature, squirting her with water has the opposite effect it would on normal cats. Locking her out of the bedroom, something I’d rather not do because I like her little warm body sleeping next to mine, doesn’t work because she scratches at the door all night. She wants to cuddle for about five minutes, but then she wants to play.

A sleeping cat.

A sleeping Pye – it must be daytime.

Solution #1: The Vacuum Technique

Thank Goddess for the internet – I found out I’m not alone. The best technique I read was from a commenter (you guys are the best!) on a post about cat-induced sleep deprivation. He described the “vacuum technique”.

But, wait! There’s more…

A Large Peace Pipe in the Minnesota snow.

Kernut the Blond Posted on by

Guess where the large peace pipe is? Right! Pipestone, Minnesota.

(I know you already knew that.)

After all of this 100+ degree heat, part of me wishes I was still freezing my tail off in South Dakota. To finish out my trip to the frozen tundra, where TSA felt me up, and I saw the best butt crack ever, I now bring you a giant peace pipe. And some more pictures of snow. You’re welcome.

The large peace pipe is proudly displayed next to the Keepers of the Sacred Tradition of Pipemakers store. The area is known for the pipestone Native Americans use for making pipes.

“When you pray with this pipe, you pray for and with everything.”  -Black Elk

The giant Peace Pipe in Pipestone, MN.

Smoke ’em if you got ’em.

That would be a mighty big prayer.

You too can see the large peace pipe, and maybe even buy one of your own. It’s at the corner of 4th Street and Hiawatha Avenue in Pipestone, Minnesota. The horse cart sculpture pictured below is at the same location. But, wait! There’s more…

You can lead a horse to water, but some horses would rather have beer.

Kernut the Blond Posted on by

You all know that saying “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink”.

(This post isn’t going to be as funny as the title. It’s about the effects of alcoholism and addiction. Feel free to read another, happier post while this blog doubles as my therapist.)

You can show someone a better way of life, but sometimes they’d rather stick to their old ways – no matter how much they’ve already lost because of those old patterns of behavior.

The setting sun at the end of the road.

The setting sun at the end of the road.

If you’ve never been affected by someone’s alcoholism or drug addiction, or you’ve never had an alcohol or drug problem of your own, you are very fortunate. It is heartbreaking to see someone you care about return to drinking or drugs, simultaneously losing everything important in life. The willful self-destruction by a loved one is too much to witness. Sadly, I’ve seen this happen to people I care about several times. One time is too many. It never gets any easier.

Recently, I’ve encountered three alcoholic/addict friends who just couldn’t “drink the water” for more than a month or two at a time before returning to alcohol. It breaks my heart to know they are placing alcohol above family, friends, and their livelihood. One already lost all of those things once before because of his drinking, and he’s losing them all over again. Another (who is just that guy in the future), is a bit further along and has lost literally everything – he has no home, no livelihood, no possessions at all. Just a drinking problem to comfort him.

People, myself included, have tried to help these folks. But at some point you have to give up. There is only so much anyone can do to help someone who makes alcohol a priority above all else, even their family.

Many are just too proud and too stubborn to change. But I believe those I mentioned above secretly harbor a death wish.  They have other health issues they don’t address, they drink when it’s contraindicated with their medication, they continue drinking and using knowing how their changed personality hurts those who care about them, but they have even less regard for their own health. These folks are often very depressed but hide it well. (I know, I was one.) They seem to want to die. Continuing to drink and use, and ignoring serious health issues and warnings on medication, is a slow form of suicide.

There is a better way of life for But, wait! There’s more…

And I thought the last Itty Bitty Church was small.

Kernut the Blond Posted on by

Hot, Cold, Hot, Cold

The current weather seems to have more temperatures than a faucet, much like some of my recent dating experiences. This past weekend it was hot and heavy at 105 degrees in southcentral Texas. At the moment, the weather is a chillingly cool 80 degrees at 9pm.

When I lived in Santa Barbara it reached 124 (or 126?) degrees one year — we beat Death Valley’s record temperature that year by a degree or two. The black top at school was melting. You couldn’t stand on it for very long because your shoes would melt, too. It was the one day we kids got to wear shorts to school.

Hmm, closing the school might have been a good idea, ya think? School Official: Nah, let ’em cook their little brains out on the blacktop on the hottest day of the last 100 years. This may explain a lot about me.

I digress.

With the current heat wave sweeping over parts of the world, I thought some of you would enjoy seeing some snow. The snow comes with a tiny church. (Quite a segue, eh?)

Faith comes in all sizes.

Wayside Church, another World's Smallest Church

Wayside Chapel in Luverne, MN, another World’s Smallest Church

This is from my trip a couple months ago to the frozen tundra that was South Dakota after the worst storm in twenty years. After completing my mission, I But, wait! There’s more…

The reason I’m not all here…

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It’s because sometimes I’m there: Yahoo!

Ok, maybe that’s only one reason I’m not “all here”.

Me and my ride.

Me and my ride.

*shameless self-promotion alert*

In between working, sightseeing, and writing for this blog I write a little travel series for Yahoo! called “Strange RV Encounters”. It’s a bit hard to believe they let me write for them, isn’t it? Yeah, for me too.

Some of my long-time readers may recognize a few of the destinations, but I’ve had to write the articles a little differently. Unlike this goofy, poorly worded blog, Yahoo! is a proper, mainstream website — they prefer I keep my articles professional. In order to amuse myself, I sneak in a little phrase or word when I can, just to see if I can get it published.

I used the word “poop” in an article, and it’s published. Out there, on the web, on a proper and popular mega-website. But, wait! There’s more…

I have the memory of a goldfish…

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I have the memory of a goldfish… Once around the bowl and I think, “Oooh, that rock is new!”

Yup.

This can be both good and bad.

Goldfish with big eyes, and bad memory.

Goldfish with big eyes, and bad memory.

(Current mood: Reflective, wistful.)

The Bad?, or Things I Don’t Remember…

I probably can’t tell you what I had for breakfast today without a great deal of thought. And even then I may not remember.

I often can’t remember the people I meet. I often can’t remember someone’s name SECONDS after I’ve met them. If I do manage to see them regularly at some place I frequent, but then I see them at some place I’ve never seen them before, I won’t recognize them because they’re out of context. I feel terribly embarrassed each and every time.

I don’t remember many, many things from my youth. I remember But, wait! There’s more…

Beaver + Wood = Love

Kernut the Blond Posted on by

That nice cowboy who took me to see bulls being castrated, and ride in a hay bailing tractor got me hooked on Duck Dynasty.

Yeah, he’s a real romantic.

But have you seen Duck Dynasty?? It’s the best reality show on TV.

WAIT! Don’t go! I’m sorry I used a bad word: reality show. But as someone who detests reality shows (unless she’s in one about RVers), I can honestly say this show is different than the others.

The family, the Robertsons, of the Duck Commander duck call monopoly, are only marginally dysfunctional – just enough to keep the show interesting, but not weird. They’re a close-knit family that does not, I repeat, does not have any infighting or backstabbing. At least none shown on TV.

By now you’re probably wondering what the Duck Dynasty family has to do with beavers? (Of course, that assumes you remember the title of this post.) It’s got a little to do with it, but not much.

Uncle Si, the goofiest of the bunch, loves beaver. Well, he loves hunting beaver. He calls himself the Beaver Commander. Of course, this has spurred a whole slew of t-shirts with suggestive sayings related to beavers.

So, today, I have super large beaver to show you all.

World's Largest Convenience Store, New Braunfels, Texas

Just the gas pumps at the World’s Largest Convenience Store, New Braunfels, Texas

The very big beaver is at the World’s Largest Convenience store in New Braunfels, Texas. The store chain is Buc-ee’s. Pictured But, wait! There’s more…

I see butt crack. Actually two butt cracks, but only one is hot.

Kernut the Blond Posted on by

That’s not one of my many typos — I really see butt cracks.

A lot of butt crack, enough crack to swipe a credit card.

I changed to a new space at the RV park: it’s on the water with spectacular views of the setting sun. There were two open spaces in this row. I took one next to a friend, and a couple moved in to the one on the other side of me.

And that man must not own any belts to hold up his shorts.

The couple parked in front of me have a motorhome, but prefer to be outside all day long, no matter how hot it is. They cook all meals outside. They are really tent campers who happen to own an RV.

But no belts.

It is probably clear by my tone that the aforementioned butt crack is NOT the hot one.

Statue of David in Sioux Falls, South Dakota.

Ahh, now there’s a nice butt crack.

Michaelangelos's David in Sioux Falls, SD.

Now there a nice butt crack.

Be grateful I did NOT take a photo of my neighbor’s butt crack.

While freezing my tail off in South Dakota, I went sight seeing. And oh what sights! I found But, wait! There’s more…

The Life of Pye: Pye and The Minnow

Kernut the Blond Posted on by

The Life of Pye is about a cat – the cat who adopted me.

This is another post in the sporadic series about Pye’s antics. Some previous stories are Pye Has a Foot Fetish and Thirty Hours Without Pye.

Before I start, let me note that this post is not about my cat and a tiny ship that was tossed. This is about a different minnow.

Pye and The Minnow

At one of my jobs we sell live bait fish: minnows and goldfish. Until I saw a dog playing with a minnow, which the dog’s owner had placed in a parking lot puddle, it never occurred to me to get a minnow for my cat to play with.

Yeah, yeah, I know. Cats are above fish on the food chain. I never claimed to be brilliant.

Moving on…

After work one day I got her a little minnow and placed it in a shallow baking (pie) dish in the shower. Pye stared at the minnow for a long time. (Remember, this is the kitten that appeared on my doorstep half starved because she couldn’t figure out how to catch enough bugs to stay alive. She and I live in a country park – there is NO shortage of rodents and reptiles to eat, provided you’re bright enough to catch them…)

Pye has never seen a minnow and doesn't know what to think.

Pye has never seen a minnow and doesn’t know what to think.

By the way… The brown caulk in the top center of the photo is my poor attempt at caulking my shower. (Note to self, and any others wishing to caulk their own shower: Do not assume that just because the color on the tube of caulk says “Almond” – and looks JUST LIKE the color of your shower – that it will actually match said shower. It will not.)

But, wait! There’s more…

Giant Armadillo Invades Flea Market in Texas; Fleas Terrified.

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The shadow of a Giant Armadillo loomed over us as we entered the flea market, pushing against the stream of fleeing fleas.

I’m not sure what the state animal of Texas is, but it should be the armadillo.

Ok, so I just did a little googling extensive research and came to find the state animal is the armadillo. But, because Texas is so large, they need two state animals: the armadillo and the longhorn. I should’ve known.

They’re all over this time of year: foraging in my campsite, roasting on barbeque pits, and splattered all over the road. I prefer the former. After learning they carry leprosy, I have no intention of ever trying armadillo meat. However, a fellow blogger in Texas at of mule dung and ash claims to have eaten armadillo several times. He seems fine. Not that we’ve met in person. Ok, so it’s a guess.

Baby armadillos have been foraging in my campsite for grubs or roots or whatever it is armadillos forage for. They’re adorable, and seem unconcerned with my presence most of the time.  Maybe they sense I wouldn’t touch them with a ten-foot pole. Or a BBQ spatula. The rangers, however, seem less accepting of them and want to fill in their burrows, or shoot rubber bands at them.

I did try to grab a photo, but you all know how fickle my photography can be. Fear not, Kernutties, I got photos of something better: A giant armadillo statue!! Yes, it’s true. Texas has a giant armadillo statue or two. Yeah, I was shocked, too. But, wait! There’s more…