Today’s adventure: Tales From the RV Park – Stray Cats and Wounded Men. I am at an RV park in southern Alabama. I’ve been here about a year. There are around 100-150 people here, mostly seniors, mostly single. Lots of heavy drinkers. As some of you may recall, I don’t drink any more.
But, wait! There's more...I uttered an expletive (or two), wrapped myself in a towel and opened the front door just in time to see a little kid trying to speed away (rather poorly) in a golf cart.
But, wait! There's more...Oddities during the Time of The Coronapocalypse.
I learned I love stillness in the world.
I learned I have grandiose dreams (yeah, I know that shouldn’t come as such a surprise to me) that I will not fulfill when given half the chance. (<--- THAT came as the real surprise.) I attended a virtual memorial for a friend. There were over 150 people on the Zoom call honoring JG's memory. He was a good man who touched many lives and helped countless people. I aspire to do half as well as JG. I had a birthday anniversary of my 29th birthday during the Coronapocalypse and no one came. (Ok, ok, no one could come, but that's not the point.) I had cake for breakfast, pizza for lunch, and exercised for dinner. I learned you could finish Netflix. Disney+, sure. But Netflix? Never saw that coming. And most surprising to me, I miss the energy of people.
But, wait! There's more...Amazon has hookers and drugs for sale! I am not making this up.
No lie. AMAZON the online bookstore/everything store – has hookers and drugs listed for sale. And this post is not safe for work because of nudity and pictures of drug use – Thanks for that, Amazon. Now people will have to wait until they get home to read this.
But, wait! There's more...In light of subsequent events, this saga will henceforth be referred to as Kernut vs. Critters.
I hate glue traps. Have a I mentioned that before? Maybe once or twice?
Shortly after posting Kernut vs. Critters, part 1, I discovered a massive nest built on top of my RV gas tank. It had branches (complete with leaves),
The zombie rat is winning. I first began hearing things “go bump in the night” a few weeks ago: a bump on the underside of the RV, a bump in the front. I wondered what critter had enough body mass to make a thud that reverberated through the chassis. And then Pye started sitting in the well of the drivers seat, where your feet go, staring at the wall that separates the peddles from the engine.
But, wait! There's more...Tales From the RV Park: Holy Haters Batman! I have never met a more unhappy, unfriendly concentration of people since Los Angeles. But even the folks in L.A. like to meditate without bitching.
But, wait! There's more...Perpetually Plastered (first introduced here) has done it again.
But let me back up a bit… Perpetually Plastered got his first DUI at 13. Yes, thirteen years old. He wasn’t legally old enough to drive, let alone drink. I learned this when I ran a little background check on him and came across an old newspaper article from his home town. The arresting officer
But, wait! There's more...Saturday morning at 12:45 am, I hear a woman yelling – and she sounds close by, in my yard close by. I get out of bed, look out the curtains covering my door, and turn on the porch light – illuminating the new gal’s bare butt popping a squat (“peeing”, for those of you older or younger than the slang term) in my yard!
But, wait! There's more...It says: ATTENTION: Do not let Rozko (“Roscoe”) out of office. He must be quarantined for 10 DAYS! If he shows signs or dies, I have rabies. (signed by the boss)
It might as well say, “Rabies inside your new office, but don’t worry about it – you can keep working.”
But, wait! There's more...
