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Kernut the Blond

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Itty Bitty Religious Committee

Kernut the Blond Posted on February 18, 2013 by KernutFebruary 21, 2016

A petite prayer.

A diminutive denomination.

It may be small, but it’s cute. (That’s what he said.)

Ahem.

St Martin's Catholic Church, The World's Smallest Active Church

St Martin’s Catholic Church, The World’s Smallest Active Church

Size only matters in horseshoes and hand grenades. Wait, I think I have that wrong. Err, uhh, never mind.

Moving on…

Just as I love both extremes of the phases of the moon, the full moon and the littlest sliver that looks like a fingernail clipping, But, wait! There’s more…

Posted in Wonderful, Worlds Smallest | Tagged Meditation, Weird wacky wonderful

Large Longhorns and Giant Forks

Kernut the Blond Posted on February 3, 2013 by KernutFebruary 4, 2013

World’s Largest Longhorn

One cannot spend any amount of time at all near Austin, Texas without hearing about Longhorns. Yup, they’re a breed of cattle. (see below)

Some type of longhorn.

Some type of (pissed off) longhorn with curly horns. I blame the humidity for the curly horns; it does the same thing to my hair.

But – more importantly to many Texans – the Longhorns are a college football team.

Many years ago, I watched football all the time, particularly in the era of Joe Montana (past QB for the SF 49ers). With the exception of watching the Super Bowls for the commercials, I haven’t watched individual games in a very long time. Sadly, there are no 49er fans (that I’ve found) here in the middle of cow country. In fact, I get the distinct impression Texans prefer college football to league football. Since the 49ers are in the super bowl I’ll be glued to the TV tonight. There is ONE 49er fan in cow country.

But guess what? This post isn’t about football! It is about “World’s Largest” goofy sights in Austin. But, wait! There’s more…

Posted in Cheezy Americana, Wacky, Weird | Tagged Texas, Weird wacky wonderful, Worlds Largest

A Capital Capitol in Austin, Texas

Kernut the Blond Posted on January 28, 2013 by KernutJanuary 28, 2013

With an abundance of my much-missed Starbucks/any coffee shop and health food restaurants, Austin reminds me a bit of many cities in California. And there’s quite a bit of fun, wacky stuff to see in Austin, the capital of Texas – besides the big blue spider butt.

This post was going to be about the Largest Urban Bat Colony, but my photography skills the photos suck could be better (but are shown below anyway because I still think that’s much more interesting than a state capitol building).

Largest Urban Bat Colony in Austin, Texas.

You’ll just have to trust me… there are hundreds of bats in this photo.

Really, there are hundreds of bats in the above photo. See that blotch that looks like a swarm of bees going across the center? That’s the bats. I’m so glad you can see them. (Just pretend you can.)

They live under the Congress Avenue bridge in downtown Austin. They fly out around sunset, usually between March and November. The photos below are of the bridge. If you go to see the bats, wait on the other side of the bridge because this isn’t the side they fly out of. But the pictures are prettier on this side.

Beautiful downtown Austin at sunset... no bats.

Beautiful downtown Austin at sunset… no bats.

Beautiful downtown Austin after sunset.

Beautiful downtown Austin after sunset.

It’s a good thing I dragged a victim friend along to see wacky stuff in Austin. But, wait! There’s more…

Posted in Wacky, Wonderful, Worlds Largest | Tagged Texas, Weird wacky wonderful

Arachnophilia in Austin, Texas

Kernut the Blond Posted on January 22, 2013 by KernutJanuary 22, 2013

Arachnophilia = The love of spiders.

Giant spider sculpture in Austin, Texas

It’s coming to get you!

I love spiders. They fascinate me – provided they aren’t in my house or on me. Then they terrify me. (That last part is very important… in my house or on me = dead spider. Yes, my love for spiders is fickle.)

Do any of you recall the name of the pest control company that had very large plastic black widows on the side of its white trucks? Anyway, I loved seeing those trucks driving around town in southern California as a kid. I wanted one of those huge plastic spiders so bad. I’m sure I asked my father for one.

I don’t have a giant plastic spider, yet, but think it would be a terrific addition to the roof of my RV. That just screams “crazy people live here, best to stay far away.” (I crack me up!)

Until then… But, wait! There’s more…

Posted in Cheezy Americana, Wacky | Tagged Weird wacky wonderful, Worlds Largest

Cat-butt-tongue Water

Kernut the Blond Posted on January 13, 2013 by KernutJanuary 13, 2013

This is another post about my cat. If you don’t have pets, or never had pets, you probably won’t get this. In fact, you may decide to never get a pet, ever. But they’re totally worth it.

I went to visit my friends Ben and Jo in Rockport, Texas over the weekend. The following are snippets from a conversation I had with Jo.

Conversation with my friend Jo about Pyewacket, my newish kitten:

Me: Pyewacket is getting pudgy and is now on diet. I used to call her Princess Pye, but now I’m calling her Pumpkin Pye.

Jo: *laughs* Maybe she’s not getting enough exercise?

Me: Oh, no. The little Tasmanian Devil of a kitten gets plenty of exercise. Everything in the house is a toy. My house is probably being shredded as we speak. All boxes that enter, packing materials included, are immediately claimed by Pye. It doesn’t matter if she’s too big to fit in the box, it’s still hers. She races up and down the RV in the morning and in the evening. When I’m trying to sleep she attacks my feet and legs. (Yes, Bluzdude, I have been trying your suggestion of ‘sail cat’. She thinks it’s part of the game.)

Jo: *laughs*

Me: I’m pretty sure she thinks her name is “No” because I’m always telling her to stop attacking or scratching something. And then there are my showers. I can’t take a shower alone anymore!

Jo: *laughs*

Me: The day after Pye first showed up on my doorstep, I decided she needed a bath. But, wait! There’s more…

Posted in Animals | Tagged Cats

San Antonio Riverwalk at Christmas and The Tower of Doom

Kernut the Blond Posted on January 5, 2013 by KernutJanuary 5, 2013
Sculpture near Tower of the Americas.

Sculpture near Tower of the Americas, aka The Tower of Doom.

Most of my adventures and travels center around seeing those weird and the wacky sights you can only find in America. But every now and then I come across something wonderful in my travels, such as the North Rim of the Grand Canyon.

While San Antonio’s Riverwalk and the Tower of the America’s may not be as awe-inspiring as the natural beauty and grandeur of the Grand Canyon, they still took my breath away.

San Antonio Riverwalk at Christmas.

San Antonio Riverwalk at Christmas. (Yeah, it’s a shitty photo. Sorry, but you’ll just have to fill in the blanks.)

Once again, my photography skills won’t do justice to the scenery, but the San Antonio Riverwalk at Christmastime is stunning. All of the trees are vertically draped with Christmas lights. More lights decorate the floating gondolas and the bridges.

But wait! Just when you thought my crappy photos were all you had, my friend sent this great photo of Santa riding in a boat on the Riverwalk… But, wait! There’s more…

Posted in Good For The Soul, Wonderful | Tagged Luxury, Weird wacky wonderful

Ten Things Tuesday: I Pray For Roadkill

Kernut the Blond Posted on December 28, 2012 by KernutDecember 28, 2012

This post is a mish-mash of Ten Things Tuesday randomness from the past week. It’s not Tuesday, I know, and there may not be exactly Ten Things in this post. If you’re one of those folks who is a tad OCD about such things, I recommend coming back to read this post on Tuesday. Then all will be right with the world.

(I am not poking fun – I have a few of my own OCD “preferences”: Clothes in closet hanging by “rainbow order” is just one of them. Rainbow order is a term I made up as a kid to describe how my 64 Crayola Crayons HAD to be arranged in the box. My little sister, Chickenbone, would use them and it would freak me out if they weren’t back in the right order. I don’t have crayons anymore so now the clothes in my closet get the rainbow treatment. Chickenbone has never seen the inside of my adult closets.)

 

My grandmother and me in 2011.

My grandmother and me in 2011 when she got to see the RV. (Yes, I know my head is cut off, but this is my best recent picture of her and I together.)

My grandmother passed away a few days before Christmas. She lived a long happy life and died at the age of 91. In later years she always told me, ‘Have a good time. Whatever you’re doing, just have a good time.’ She said it as if this was the most important thing she’d learned in her long life. I’ve been making more and more decisions based on her advice. But, wait! There’s more…

Posted in Ten Things, Thank You | Tagged Cats, Love, Ten Things

I told my therapist about you. Because the zombie apocalypse is coming and you need a shirt.

Kernut the Blond Posted on December 15, 2012 by KernutJanuary 5, 2013

 

I told my therapist about you. t-shirts
I told my therapist about you. t-shirts

By now you’re all aware of The Great RV Roll-about.

Maybe more so than you’d like.

Hey, it could be worse – this could be another post about my cat.

For those of you living vicariously through my experiences, I thought you’d like a few t-shirts and bumper stickers from places you haven’t yet been.

If you have a shirt that says “I stood on the corner in Winslow, Arizona” or a bumper sticker that says “I’ve been to Purgatory and back… Purgatory Correctional Facility, Utah” people will think you’ve been there.

And that you’re cool. Naturally.

No need to tell them you haven’t been.

Or, if you have been there, now you can get the shirt you forgot to buy.

Yup, I’m helpful that way. You’re welcome.

But, wait! There’s more…

Posted in Humor, Queen of The Zombies, Travel, Zombie Apocalypse | Tagged Humor, I Am Queen of The Zombies, Lover of All Things Cheezy, RV Travels, Zombies Are Coming

I’m feeling slightly less jaded than last week. Yeah, there’s that.

Kernut the Blond Posted on December 9, 2012 by KernutDecember 9, 2012

I wrote most of the following post rant after the last of several crappy condescending and chauvinistic incidents in the three preceding weeks. Feel free to skip it. The quoted portion is what I wrote last week. I’ve since calmed down a bit and am now feeling slightly less jaded. I explain why at the end.

I alluded to this in my previous post and on my Facebook page. And a dozen times in my Match.com dating disasters.

<rant on> Recent events in Texas have reminded me of my pet peeve of too many superficial compliments, but few to none, nada, zip, zilch about anything substantial.

Am I really just a piece of pretty fluff?

In my previous post, I mentioned how much chauvinism and blatant objectification there is of women in the south. If I sound a bit, well, annoyed, you’re right. I’ve pretty much had my fill of it lately.

I’ve mentioned before how polite Texans are as a whole, but there is a dichotomy to their manners, at least those of some of the men. On one hand most are very polite, calling you ‘ma’am’, holding the door, insisting on paying for everything. But on the other hand some of those same men will just as quickly treat you like an object, or as if you are “less than” for being a woman. But, wait! There’s more…

Posted in Dating, Dating Advice, Gentlemen | Tagged Dating Sucks, Rants

The Yankee in Texas Cow Country. Part 2.

Kernut the Blond Posted on December 1, 2012 by KernutDecember 1, 2012

As promised in the previous post, this is about the softer side of ranch life and farming. In the video below I got to ride in a tractor pulling a hay rake, and watch a baler make huge round bales, all while watching cowboys sweat. Coolest. Thing. Ever.

(Follow this link if you missed the first part with the video of a bull calf being castrated. It should be noted here that my Texan friends all chided me for the lengthy disclaimer about the bull calf castration video, while my Californian friends are mortified at just the thought. I truly never imagined how diverse this country is.)

In California I only ever saw rectangular (“square”) hay bales. When I arrived in Texas all I saw were round bales. Huge, cylindrical bales standing 6 feet tall and weighing roughly 1200 pounds.

Round bales in the field.

Round bales in the field.

Below is the round baler, one that has a tendency to jam up. It was good for me…  But, wait! There’s more…

Posted in Gentlemen, Texas | Tagged Cowboys, Ranch Life

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