Billy Joel & Elton John ROCKED the House!

Kernut the Blond Posted on by

The concert ROCKED!! (no pun intended), the roof shook, and the music vibrated through my body. Chickenbone and I had a fantastic time.

Elton and Billy

But I‘ve lost my hearing. If you find it, let me know.

I apologize for the poor quality of the photos; you’ll have to take my word the boys are in the pictures. A cell phone can only do so much. I should have brought in my digital camera like the guy in front of me. He was getting some great footage right up until he got busted.

Elton John looked fabulous in a black tux with tails and red vest, and Billy Joel looked sharp in a nice black tux.

Elton had the best lighting – it was mesmerizing! Every so often he would look out into the crowd as if he wanted to see something. As soon as his eyes focused on the people in the audience a huge smile would cross his face. He loved seeing us.

Billy was quite funny, chatting and joking with the audience. He joked about his age – but the man is hotter than ever, in my humble opinion. There’s nothing sexier than a man who’s secure enough to laugh at himself. And a most gracious performer, he sincerely thanked us all for being there.

Elton and Billy. (Our seats weren't nearly as cheap as this pic would have them look.)

They had a huge band! At one point, in addition to the two piano men on stage, there were two keyboardists, two guys on horns, two guys doing other stuff (back up singers, playing small instruments), four guitarists, and four drummers!

They ended with a duet of Piano Man. One word: AWESOME!

(I’m using more exclamation points than usual because I CAN’T HEAR and think they might help.)

Oh, and to the wasted chick singing and dancing like a drunken zombie when everyone was seated: No more coke for you.

Facebook Addicts Anonymous 12 Steps

Kernut the Blond Posted on by


Buy custom products at Kernut’s Zazzle store

Facebook Addicts Unite!

Facebook Addicts Unite!

The following is the result of a fabulous thread by fellow Facebook Addicts Todd E., Dan H., Aloha J., John M., and myself.

Step 1. We admitted we were powerless over the Facebook, and that our lives had disappeared into the abyss of a computer screen.

Step 2. We came to believe that a power greater than Google could restore it to sanity.

Step 3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of the electric company, AT&T, Comcast, Verizon, and Apple, and iTunes…

Step 4. Made a searching and fearless moral e-inventory.

Step 5. Admitted to everyone on FB the exact nature of our entire lives.

Step 6. Were entirely ready to have Facebook, Google, Twitter and every other search engine to remove their defects of privacy.

Step 7. Humbly asked them (our ISP, Comcast, AT&T, Verizon…) to lower our bills.

Step 8. Made a list of all persons we had insulted on Facebook, and “De-Friended” those who were a$$*)@%.

Step 9. Made direct “Add me” requests to those we previously deleted, blocked or ignored and became willing to play Farmville with them all except when to do so would make you want to injure them or others.

Step 10. Continued to monitor our comments, and when we posted something we shouldn’t have we quickly deleted it (and hoped nobody noticed).

Step 11. Sought through Comcast, AT&T, Verizon, etal, to improve our connection speed as we understood it, praying only for the knowledge of Tech Support to keep the server from crapping out!

Step 12. Continued to carry the messages of our friends who still suffered from the slow speeds of FB, Twitter, Comcast, Verizon & AT&T by RT (re-tweeting), Sharing, and liking comments.

Many of us exclaimed. “Holy S#*%! Look at all these requests! I can’t go through them all!” Do not be discouraged. No one among us and been able to attain anything like a 30% response rate to the hugs, Farmvilles, Mafia Wars, tattoos, birthday calenders, quizzes and app. requests on Facebook . The point is, we simply block them because they’re a pain in the ass.

Our description of the virtual networker, chapter on how to locate and adjust your Facebook privacy settings, and our personal adventures with the gaming features & applications, before and after make clear three pertinent ideas:

A. That we were Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, etal, addicts and could not manage our own lives without the internet.

B. That probably no human power could make me open up a MySpace account.

and C. That God could and would if he could use a mouse.

Nice work everyone! Facebook Addicts are funny people. 🙂

(For those of you who came here looking for real help with a serious problem, while I don’t know of any organization that specifically deals with Facebook Addiction, I do know that Alcoholics Anonymous helps people with ALL kinds of addictions. Same goes for NA. They’re generally nice folks, but don’t let them give you any crap about your addiction not being worthy of AA or NA meetings. An addiction is an addiction. Just listen to the speakers, and for the similarities in the messages rather than the differences. Best of luck to you.)

Tribbles In The Kibbles

Kernut the Blond Posted on by

Three tribbles in the kibbles.

My cat, and love of my life, is named Checkers. Yes, I’m a blond-haired, blued-eyed, often goofy, single female who lives with a cat.

Yeah, yeah, I’m busy perpetuating all the stereo-types. My parents are very proud. Let’s move on, shall we?

Those of you who have cats may like this, those of you who don’t may still find it curious.

She has several nearly identical toys: round balls of fur about 2 inches across. They are not unlike the Tribbles in the original Star Trek episode, The Trouble With Tribbles. She will bat these around the living room, and then at some point when I’m not looking she carries each one to the food dish and drops them in.

What I have yet to figure out is whether this is because she thinks they are food (therefore belonging in the dish with the kibbles), or because she thinks they need food because she thinks of them as animals. She will occasionally groom them, so my guess is the latter.

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What the heck is a “kernut”?

Kernut the Blond Posted on by

Kernut? What the heck is a “kernut”?

When I was little, I loved (and still do) currants, those small, raisin-like dried berries. But I couldn’t say “currants” so I called them ‘kernuts’.

What an adorable, and apparently none-too-bright, child.

But there’s more. Not too many years later, my father invented a wonderful, humorous, and on-going bedtime story for my sister and I. He needed names for the characters representing our alter-egos and I’ll bet you can guess what MY pseudonym was. Yup, Kernut.

You chuckle, sure, but guess what my sister’s pseudonym was? Chickenbone. So named because she loved chicken and was once-too-often seen gnawing on a chicken bone.

Kernut doesn’t seem so silly now, does it? Yes, we both need therapy.

“The Adventures of Chickenbone and Kernut”, the title of my father’s bedtime saga, included a host of other characters: The Six-dollar and Ninety-nine Cent Man” (made from old Barbie parts, etc. If you are over 35 then you know to whom this is in reference), Splat (for the pony my sister always wanted), and Potion (a highly intelligent guinea pig, to represent our pet guinea pigs). The adventures were largely heroic in nature, included time-travel, treasure hunting, and lots of sweets. It was all of our best childhood fantasies in a story about “us”.

Chickenbone, Kernut, and the gang always celebrated with massive sundaes at the end of each adventure (not in real life, just in the story). Yet, I continue to wonder where my insatiable sweet-tooth comes from. (Note to my readers: It’s probably not a good idea to include massive sugar fests in a bedtime story to your kids now or they may need to join a 12-step program later. Just sayin’.)

My father is a master story teller; he kept us in suspense the whole time, and illustrated the adventure of the evening with stick drawings on a note pad. We were hooked, and it is a fond childhood memory for both of us.

While I made up the word by mispronouncing ‘currant’ as a kid, my father assures me to this day, this is a REAL word. He claims a kernut is a half-popped popcorn kernel. You know – those little half-popped bits of popcorn at the bottom of the bowl that you will eat the white tops off of when desperate for the last little taste of popcorn. (Admit it, you’ve done this, too.)

To verify ‘kernut’ is a word, I have searched dictionary.com, urbandictionary.com, the internet in general, and my 30-pound (no lie) Miriam-Webster’s Unabridged International Dictionary.

There is no word ‘kernut’ in any dictionary. Apparently, this making up of words runs in the family.