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Facebook Addicts Unite!

The following is the result of a fabulous thread by fellow Facebook Addicts Todd E., Dan H., Aloha J., John M., and myself.

Step 1. We admitted we were powerless over the Facebook, and that our lives had disappeared into the abyss of a computer screen.

Step 2. We came to believe that a power greater than Google could restore it to sanity.

Step 3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of the electric company, AT&T, Comcast, Verizon, and Apple, and iTunes…

Step 4. Made a searching and fearless moral e-inventory.

Step 5. Admitted to everyone on FB the exact nature of our entire lives.

Step 6. Were entirely ready to have Facebook, Google, Twitter and every other search engine to remove their defects of privacy.

Step 7. Humbly asked them (our ISP, Comcast, AT&T, Verizon…) to lower our bills.

Step 8. Made a list of all persons we had insulted on Facebook, and “De-Friended” those who were a$$*)@%.

Step 9. Made direct “Add me” requests to those we previously deleted, blocked or ignored and became willing to play Farmville with them all except when to do so would make you want to injure them or others.

Step 10. Continued to monitor our comments, and when we posted something we shouldn’t have we quickly deleted it (and hoped nobody noticed).

Step 11. Sought through Comcast, AT&T, Verizon, etal, to improve our connection speed as we understood it, praying only for the knowledge of Tech Support to keep the server from crapping out!

Step 12. Continued to carry the messages of our friends who still suffered from the slow speeds of FB, Twitter, Comcast, Verizon & AT&T by RT (re-tweeting), Sharing, and liking comments.

Many of us exclaimed. “Holy S#*%! Look at all these requests! I can’t go through them all!” Do not be discouraged. No one among us and been able to attain anything like a 30% response rate to the hugs, Farmvilles, Mafia Wars, tattoos, birthday calenders, quizzes and app. requests on Facebook . The point is, we simply block them because they’re a pain in the ass.

Our description of the virtual networker, chapter on how to locate and adjust your Facebook privacy settings, and our personal adventures with the gaming features & applications, before and after make clear three pertinent ideas:

A. That we were Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, etal, addicts and could not manage our own lives without the internet.

B. That probably no human power could make me open up a MySpace account.

and C. That God could and would if he could use a mouse.

Nice work everyone! Facebook Addicts are funny people. 🙂

(For those of you who came here looking for real help with a serious problem, while I don’t know of any organization that specifically deals with Facebook Addiction, I do know that Alcoholics Anonymous helps people with ALL kinds of addictions. Same goes for NA. They’re generally nice folks, but don’t let them give you any crap about your addiction not being worthy of AA or NA meetings. An addiction is an addiction. Just listen to the speakers, and for the similarities in the messages rather than the differences. Best of luck to you.)