As if, AS IF, I don’t already have a full house, what with Checkers the RV Copilot, the varmint squirrel, Bugzilla the well-groomed Giant Cockroach, and Sparky the Bird, now there’s a mouse in the house, my RV.
But, wait! There's more.... I’m beginning to doze off, my eyes start to droop and I manage to bookmark my page when out of the corner of my eye I see a LARGE, dark object moving very rapidly across the wall.
On the wall is the biggest roach I’ve ever seen. It’s at least two inches long NOT counting the antennae. NO LIE! It’s so big it actually makes sounds as it’s feet scurry along the wall, unlike other insects that are TOO SMALL TO MAKE SOUNDS WHEN THEY MOVE.
But, wait! There's more...Like a cow pissin’ on a flat rock, it’s raining in Texas. When they say “Everything is bigger in Texas” they mean the rain. And the wind and hail stones! Forty m.p.h. winds?? Last. Night. I was scared shitless, y’all. I’m from California – I prefer earthquakes. This morning when … But, wait! There’s more…
Or “The time my laptop died, and the windows let in the rain.” Believe it or not, these things are not related. Don’t worry, the post about the naked guy in Quartzsite is still coming, but there’s been a slight delay… The Sacred Laptop, holder of all photos, articles, and … But, wait! There’s more…
I just heard about this ‘brain-eating amoeba’ and I think I have it. It sure would explain a lot. We’re all on well water at the place I’ve been RV camping for much of the last month. At first, I drank the water (after filtering it) thinking ‘Ooh, well water! … But, wait! There’s more…
I know, I know. I can hear you all saying… ‘Kernut, who? Kernut the Blond? Hmm, that sounds vaguely familiar.’ Sorry. (Assuming you’ve missed me.) Honestly, I’ve missed you all. Believe me, I’ve wanted to write, but I’ve got nothing. A big fat nothing. And I’m On My Way To … But, wait! There’s more…
We interrupt our regularly scheduled post on my Match.com Misadventures to provide you all with much needed disaster preparedness information. You’re welcome. As y’all know I can be a bit panicky at times, while simultaneously possessing a tendency to do stupid things, much like a lemming would hurl itself off … But, wait! There’s more…
I’ve been promising you all this post since I started this blog up again several months ago. I’ve held off until now because it was a terrifying experience for me, one that’s hard to relive. There’s another reason, too. This event is like a scene straight out of a movie, … But, wait! There’s more…
Eye surgery is not for the meek. Or for those prone to panic attacks. Like me. If this post doesn’t make sense and has more typos then usual, its because I’m on valium while I’m writing this. And I’m too high and tired to add pictures right now. Sorry. Do … But, wait! There’s more…
This kind of weirdness permeated the entire trip. Permeated it like a thick black tar. Not unlike the crap washing ashore in Louisiana and Santa Barbara right this moment: That oil-drilling residue tar that just sticks to you and is damn near impossible to remove. Ever have that shit stuck on your feet? It’s hella hard to get off.
But, wait! There's more...
