How A Panicky Lemming Prepares For Major Disasters
We interrupt our regularly scheduled post on my Match.com Misadventures to provide you all with much needed disaster preparedness information. You’re welcome.
I'm sure this is what California will look like after THE BIG ONE.
As y’all know I can be a bit panicky at times, while simultaneously possessing a tendency to do stupid things, much like a lemming would hurl itself off a perfectly good cliff for no apparent reason, or like when I ran from Martin Sheen when he was trying to rescue me.
You know, like normal folks wouldn’t.
After the massive explosion (caused by a faulty PG&E pipeline) in nearby San Bruno took out a whole neighborhood, I decided I needed a real, up-to-date emergency preparedness kit.
I know, I know. You think someone as panicky as myself, and also a Red Cross volunteer, would already have that covered. This is the point where I prove to you folks I don’t dye my hair.
Blond is the real color, people.
Sitting around with my father and his wife the other night we evaluated our “survival kits”. Mine had food that was 16 years old and long expired, but I had shoes, hat, jackets, blanket and pillow. My father had a car kit with a bottle of water, Fix-a-flat, a jacket, and a hat. No shoes, no food.
My panic and need to improve my disaster preparedness kit increased dramatically when the big earthquakes and tsunami hit Japan. (Please click here for the American Red Cross donation page.) The tsunami reached the California coast not far from where I live, however the damage was nothing compared to what happened in Japan. (Although, Boat Boy may need to get more than just his boat motor fixed.)
California is the land of “THE BIG ONE”, a major earthquake. Californian’s live with the constant knowledge “THE BIG ONE” will come someday. The USGS analyst who predicted the 7.1 Loma Prieta earthquake in 1989 (I lived 6 miles from the epicenter thankyouverymuch) is predicting a major quake in California any. day. now.
Great. I’m not ready!
This USGS map shows all the current earthquakes in the United States. Note ninety-percent ARE IN CALIFORNIA.
As if that wasn’t enough, the power plants in Japan are all melting down. Some of you may recall that I used to draw schematics for General Electric’s Boiling Water Reactors (BWR). (Yes I did, and yes you should be afraid.) It is one of GE’s BWRs that is melting down at the Fukushima-Daiichi plant in Japan. Of the 104 we have in the U.S., 23 are GE’s BWRs.
And I helped with those schematics. At 19. Awesome.
This Online Geiger Counter has been most helpful to me while the toxic clouds come overseas to California. It’s updated every 15 minutes – perfect for panicky people. Notice how our levels here in California are only slightly lower than the radiation levels in Tokyo – just south of where the reactors are actually melting down.
I feel faint. Could someone please point me towards the nearest cliff?
oh, Oh, OH!!! As I’m typing this, the local news is showing a TORNADO in Northern California. WTF?! Tornadoes are supposed to stay in Ohio and Kansas. That’s why I don’t live there. Only one disaster-type per state. It’s the law.
Holy Apocalypse Batman! Time to get serious about the disaster preparedness around here.
Kernut’s New and Improved Panic, err I mean, Disaster Preparedness Kit:
(Unlike much of this blog, this list is actually somewhat useful.)
In the car:
Sneakers and socks (Don’t forget the socks, people. You ever try to walk for miles in sneakers without socks? I have. Don’t do it.)
Jacket, hat, gloves
Flashlight, and batteries kept separately
Pocket knife
Water
Matches
Toilet paper
Toothbrush, and other toiletries (My father scoffed at this. Within 24 hours or less of a disaster I know I’ll want to use a toothbrush, hairbrush, soap, and deodorant. *I* plan to smell good during the apocalypse.)
First Aid Kit
Medications (especially those you shouldn’t be without)
Vitamins
Canned foods (chili, tuna, soup) – and can opener!
Protein Bars
Crackers
Bowl, fork, spoon, knife
Cat food and bowl
Extra Mobile Phone
Backup Hard Drive
UPDATED TO INCLUDE:
Dust masks, duck tape, twine.
Blanket and pillow, or sleeping bag
Ready to go by the front door:
Cat carrier (For the first love of my life)
Laptop (I pray I have time to grab this – it’s the second love of my life)
Purse, with cell phone, credit cards, etc.
Fire Extinguisher
Loaded Gun (for the Zombies)
Need to get:
Sleeping bag
More bullets (for the hard to kill Zombies)
More carbs (as I’ve recently discovered, lemmings NEED carbs)
Potassium iodide (of which the whole world is currently out)
You’ll notice my kit focuses on food, unlike the Metro’s Surviors, an article focusing on outdoor survival skills and disaster preparedness. Author Traci Hukill recounts a conversation she had with the survivalist:
“You’ll notice that we don’t spend that much time on food,” says Hodges, “because really, in a survival situation, it’s not that important. I’ve never heard of anyone getting stuck in the woods and staying dry and getting water and dying of starvation.”
(Traci Hukill:) Easy for you to say, I think, recounting the list of vitamins, fruits, leafy greens and high-quality protein sources I consider absolutely necessary to propel myself from home to car to office and back.
I’m with Traci, but she forgot to include carbs.
There are most likely items I’ve forgotten – please add them in the comments! Then go make sure your kit is up-to-date.
I like sacks of dried beans, myself. I will be well-fed after the end comes, but very, very unpopular.
LOL Dried beans are a great food. But I suggest adding a gas mask or two to your kit if you pack beans.
already got it covered — you can buy ANYTHING from Israeli Army Surplus! But my survival camp is strictly BYO-Gas Mask…
Holy Jihad Batman! You weren’t kidding about that website (Thanks!!!! 😉 )
Cash. Wads of cash. And super glue. I dunno why but it just seems like a good idea. Maybe panties.
Thanks! Those are all great items to add! (I’d forgotten about underwear.)
Couple more suggestions:
Elly Lou beat me to this one, but CASH. You can’t count on ATMs or credit card readers functioning in an emergency. You’ll need cold hard cash.
Also, consider paper maps, with an emergency route marked on it. You may not be able to count on a functional GPS, either.
Also, keep in mind any medicines you take regularly, if any. Personally, I’d make sure I bring aspirin, at least.
Lastly, let me commend you for actually taking action on this issue. Far too many people don’t.
My parents just moved into the Florida Gulf Coast, aka Hurricane Central, so I’ve worked on helping them with their emergency supplies as well.
Of course, my dad later sent me back a photo of his Emergency Hurricane Stash, which was filled with bourbon and gin.
WOW! More great things to add! Maps never even occurred to me – and I can’t find my way out of a paper bag without GPS.
Sounds like your dad plans to maintain a happy disposition during a disaster.
You can never go wrong with the loaded gun for the zombies.
Exactly. Maybe I should bring two?
Hmmm… Well there are different Kits for different reasons. If anyone can imagine, I wrote the survival books that people mailed away for in the backs of the local free papers back in the 80s and 90s before the internet. They covered a wide range of topics before the internet to help people make sound decisions. I carefully copied each page and cussed when the master got a wrinkle. sorted and stapeled each set of booklets and dropped them in the mailbox for the princely sum of $6 for all 3 or $3 each. I have 3,775 posts here and have been thanked 3,080 times which is good considering all my reprimands and bad marks lol. ‘Brew’ in case you want to IM questions. Jerry D. Young is also very gracious and knows pretty much everything. He is the leading PAW fiction writer in the US as well. Love his PAW romance stories. http://www.survivalistboards.com/ its flooded with newbies right now but there are forums to request resources for everything. And now you have two folks you can PM for questions. No point in leaping off the cliff. 🙂
Very cool. Thanks for the tip, and added resources. It may not keeping this lemming from the nearest cliff, but it sure is a good start 😉
I have a wind-up radio that has a usb phone charger in my kit. I learnt that one the hard way. Then you know where you are meant to go and can get updates etc.
A radio! Didn’t think of that one, thanks for the addition to the kit! I love that you can get one with a phone charger in it!!
During the big 1989 quake our radio stations went out. I’m not sure when they came back, but it was before most everything else.
They are awesome for fire and flooding though. I guess it depends on what disasters you are expecting. 🙂
In California, we get ’em all: Fires, floods, earthquakes, tsunamis, toxic radiation clouds, and (fill in the blank). Oh, and now tornadoes.
There are two main classes of preparedness people. Survivalists and Preppers. Myself and a couple other folks coined the term Prepper about 5 years ago. It was picked up by Glen Beck and the media ran with it. Think of preppers as super campers. This might describe parents or grandparents that had all that stuff. If the house fell down they pop a tent in the backyard and fire up the colman grill and dig the rest they need out of the rubble. They tend to pile up food like folks that lived through the depression and their attic is likely full of coffee and toilet paper. Survivalists are different. They plan for every contingency form a local event to the PAW or Post Apoclypse World. You dear by definition are a survivalist, because you have planned for self defense and are interested in NBC protection. (nuclear,chemical,biological) while a prepper may have goods stocked at home, a survivalist has a BHB or bug home bag at work. In the desk or car trunk. These are supplies to make it home in a disaster and include food water flashlight and an assortmet of other things such as prybars and fire making sources. When the survivalist gets home the secure the home and prepare their BOB or bug out bag. (what you have) it usually has supplies arms and ammunition and is designed to get them to a remote safe location such as a family farm or cabin. That is the BOL or Bug out location. And they sometimes have specialy prepared vehicles or BOV to get there. They like the preppers have supplies stored in the safe location and have a better than average armament. They also have potassium iodide, dosimters and gas masks with extra filters and tyvek suits. Then there is a different breed altogether. Survivalist Extreme. These people can have nothing and in a couple days have flint knapped stone age weapons and have knives spears and bows and arrows and know how to use them. Think of bear grylis only not heading to rescue. Staying and living well. They also have the skills to run or work with all things the regular survivalists do and possibly go quite a bit further. The hidden super survivalists have a different bag at home. its usually a very large backpack or similar and it contains everything they would need to leave and never come back. To go out in the world as a nomad and do very well at it. This bag is called a GOOD or get out of dodge bag. Hope that explains some to people that have never been exposed. Red cross 72 hr kit. extra groceries and supplies= Prepper. Planning for every or even multiple scenarios= Survivalist.
WOW! I’ve learned a whole new level of survival terminology. Now I’ll be able to hang with the hard-core survivalists when the apocalypse comes. But the preppers will probably come after me for my BOB.
One more thing. We call the people names too. Sleepy Sheep= no clue at all. Sheep= the govt will come and help. Awake= like you. some red cross, know you should have had your stuff together and a good knowledge of what to do. Aware= Have their stuff together and watch the jungle drums. (news) or have other quality information sources and have taken steps to practice the most likely events. (family fire drill,extended power outage, flood, etc.) I have to say I am proud of you for being awake. There is a lot more to that blond than anyone suspects. And none of us want to end up here in piles of human feces and dead bodies. Cal 6 rescue was there and they pulled them due to the violent meltdown. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GaINT2mj27Q&feature=related
We are all too smart for that stuff but most will act like sheep.
Good to know I’m not being called a “Sheeple”. My father is getting a generator, so he’s probably in the Awake category, too. Of course, I’m not telling anyone where he lives. He did mention we’d have to be careful with showing lights or we’d end up fighting off the zombies.
I pulled out my rotary steam engine today and looked it over. Its from around the 1880s or 1890s. I am getting a flywheel on tuesday and going to be scrounging up a boiler, and tearing it apart and adding new springs to the inside and teflon pads on the friction and sealing surfaces. It has a second outlet for a closed loop system. I have never fired up any kind of steam engine before but there is always a first time. I think throwing modern materials into the mix might be a big boost. At least we have high pressure pop off valves these days lol. No boiler explosions for me.
Wine! I can’t believe there is no wine n this list!
Another good suggestion, but I drank my life-time quota early on. No booze for me.
Well duh, a husband to figure it all out.
Ooooh! Best suggestion yet! Although, I just want one so he will carry all this crap. I have a very large trunk in my car. It could easily old several sets of golf clubs. But now it’s packed with my disaster preparedness kit. There’s way more crap than I could carry by myself. But a husband would make an excellent carrier.
Bourbon….it starts fires, burns zombies, disinfects wounds, and acts as cash in a pinch. Oh yeah, I hear you can even drink it if you want. 😉
Ah, I hadn’t thought of the disinfecting, burning, and bartering properties of the booze. Maybe I will let the pack mule, err I mean, man/husband Ms. Tuna suggested drink some when he’s carried my stuff for me. Bourbon = wages for pack mule.
Hey I remember u. Where have u been?
Hello Darlin’! I’ve been err playing with matches. 😉
I kid around a lot, but here are the hard answers for KI and who should take it. People like me on BP meds…its a no go. but this sums it up. It can be dangerous and actually kill you if you fall into certain catagories. http://www.answers.com/topic/potassium-iodide-ki-tablets
I’m taking a lower dose I found at WF, but still want the FDA-approved iOSAT to keep on hand. The last thing I want to be doing after a nuclear accident is running around to the stores trying to find some.
i’m late to the party so all of my survival kit additions have been taken. so i’ll comment on natural BLONDE! that’s freaking awesome. at least you won’t need a roots touch-up kit. ; )
also, i’m sorry to hear about the explosion. i was away when this happened but i’m so happy you’re ok!!!!
So far, so good. The tsunami hit some of my friends’ boats on the coast. Now I’m just trying to stay out of the toxic cloud 🙂 Soooo, how’s things back east in NJ looking? I hear you guys aren’t getting the toxic cloud over there. The minute I get my RV, I’m off to less toxic parts!
Great post! I’ve never really given much thought to disaster senarios, but with a family to think of, I definitely should.
Thank you, and welcome! Yes, it’s a good idea to be prepared when you’ve got a family… Unfortunately, you can’t rely on them to carry you to safety. 😉
I would go for toilet paper and beer. When the end comes I want to face it with a buzzed head and a clean hind end.
AHAAA! The bare necessities, no doubt. Don’t forget – you’ll be able to barter for booze.
This is my biggest fear: having to flee. I will probably just give up right then and there. I can’t run. I can’t swim. if you break my glasses, I am blind. Then I start thinking: What about tampons?! What do women do in the post-apocalyptic world?! Maybe Diva cup is the way to go after all… You can use it for water in a pinch. Just sayin’
Running is what I do. I’m part Gypsy. (probably. maybe. hopefully.) I can’t swim either, but I make a great anchor.
The tampons! OMG! I only just this weekend realized I should include some in my disaster kit. Can you imagine having your home/town/world turned upside down (literally) by a disaster only to end up with your period??? It would happen to me.