*cue Eagles “Take It Easy”*
So I had to go and stand there.
(Link to Standin’ On A Corner/Route 66 t-shirt below!)
Standin’ on a corner in Winslow Arizona
While I was standing on the corner in Winslow, Arizona a guy oh Lord on a sweet Harley slowed down to take a look at me.
And then we had dinner.
True story…. But, wait! There’s more…
Known locally as Creed’s Castle, you can barely make it out atop the distant plateau.
Rising up out of the St. George, Utah, suburbs looms a large plateau. There is nothing on top of it: no trees, no other homes. Except for a castle.
For the many years members of my family have lived here I’ve wondered about this castle sitting atop the plateau. At night I could see the lights in the castle turret come on. I was transfixed.
The castle was calling to me.
Known locally as Creed’s Castle, I wanted to see inside. I wanted to see their view at night. And I wanted to know who lived there.
So on this trip to Utah I invited myself over to the castle.
No lie. This Princess invited herself to the castle. This is not a castle open to the public – it’s someone’s home. But, wait! There’s more…
“Mollie’s Nipple” in Hurricane, UT. I have no idea where the other one is. I hope Mollie still has it.
It’s a butte named “Mollie’s Nipple”. Makes you wonder if Mollie was a popular saloon gal back in the day. Or if she lost one in a bar fight.
Have you ever see a 100 year-old fruitcake? No, no, I’m not talking about an old gay guy. Geez, people. I mean an actual fruitcake. Found via RoadsideAmerica.com at the Hurricane Valley Heritage Museum, it was originally a four-layer wedding cake. Not sure when they ate the two missing layers, but unless they ate them with a hammer and chisel, it wasn’t anytime in the recent past. But, wait! There’s more…
I knew I was getting closer to my destination when I started seeing zombies.
A zombie miner. I swear he said "braaaainnss" as I walked by.
You probably aren’t aware the apocalypse has started because the zombies are beginning the invasion in the middle of nowhere. You know how in apocalyptic movies they always show the survivors flee to some barren wasteland?
Yeah, that’s where I was. In the middle of a barren wasteland.
And so were the zombies. (Of which I had more photos, but they sucked. The photos, not the zombies. Vampires suck.)
Like a shriveled, dried-up oasis tucked amongst the ubiquitous tumbleweeds and dust I saw the rustic timbers of Calico Ghost Town rise out of the nothingness.
A thriving mining town in 1881, Calico, just outside of Barstow, CA, is now home to nine zombies – err, I mean people. I suspect they ate 31 of the original 40 residents and have lived off the brains of lost tourists ever since. Except for the zombies, this place really is deserted. Well-kept, but deserted.
My first real attempt at a video is below. Sorry, my audio overlay needs work. Since you can’t hear me doing the voice-over, this is what I’m saying: But, wait! There’s more…
I needed one for my RV, so I made one. Bumper sticker available at my Zombie Life Is Good Store for under $4. (click photo to go to store) http://zazzle.com/kernut*
The Great RV Roll-About Begins…
While continuing my efforts to pitch The Great RV Roll-About to anyone who might listen, I pumped the TV station’s film crew for info and tips. They said I should make some videos first, then pitch it to the TV station.
Oh.
Ok, I can do that. So with my usual brilliance of forethought and planning, I’m starting The Great RV Roll-About by traveling to the hot bed of funness known as St. George, Utah.
Yup, I really thought it through.
Since mere months ago I was on my way to Hell in a hand basket, I thought I’d finish the job by heading for the hottest part of the country on September 21. At the same time as the Senior Games start and every person over 50 with an RV is in town.
There I go again with the thinking and the planning.
Actually, this is the first major thing in my life that isn’t planned. Case in point: When I was in my late teens I decided I would get married at 27. No, I didn’t have a fiance or a boyfriend of any note. That was just “The Plan”.
Yeah. It never happened. Not only did it not happen by age 27, it hasn’t happened in the many years since.
As Patty Punker put it, this time “I’m flying without a net”.
What this really means is: But, wait! There’s more…
Blond hair - no "e".
The “Blond” vs. “Blonde” debate.
Or perhaps I should say debacle. Yeah, it’s more like a debacle.
*sigh*
When I started this blog, I did reference the fact I tend to make a lot of typos. Just remember you were warned.
At that time I had no idea I’d misspelled the word “blonde” in my blog’s title. I was not trying to be cute or funny, I really had No. Idea. I thought blond with an “E” was the British spelling. You know, like color and colour.
Even now, the auto spellcheck feature in this text is highlighting blonde as being spelled incorrectly, and showing blond as being spelled correctly.
My defense? I was mislead by auto spellcheck.
Apparently blond without an “E” is the masculine version of the word. ??? I swear, I’m not a guy pretending to be a woman like some FBI porn sting operator.
And very shortly after I realized it was far too late to correct THAT major typo, I get these two emails from my mom (note the text in bold)…
—————————- But, wait! There’s more…
If you’ve been here more than once you know I’m probably not what most people call “normal”. I tend to do crazy things, or end up in odd situations, things that just don’t seem to happen to “normal” folks. Like the job I had where I drew schematics for nuclear power plants. Or the time I was rescued by Martin Sheen. Or when I dated exiled royalty. I could go on but then you’d just think I was certifiable.
Nevertheless, people that don’t read this blog asked me to play a normal person (well, they called it “playing myself”, but I know what they meant) in a television commercial.
Holy Famosity Batman! It’s true my dear Kernutties, I’m going to be on TV!
And not on an episode of COPS.
I can hardly believe it myself.
Playing “myself”, the first customer at their new store, I recently filmed a 60-second commercial spot for the dealership where I bought my RV. (I really was the first customer at their new location.) The commercial spot is online now at Best of the Bay and will air in September on KRON or ION (September 18 at 10:30 am?). Follow the link to see how much I need a facelift. There are several spots on the website, I’m in the first and last, maybe others.
But wait! There’s more! (‘and it comes with an amazing Ginsu knife…’) But, wait! There’s more…
It sure would explain a lot.
Moments away, people. Moments away.
We’re all on well water at the place I’ve been RV camping for much of the last month. At first, I drank the water (after filtering it) thinking ‘Ooh, well water! This has to be better the city water I’ve been drinking for the last 20 years – the city water that has chromium six in it.’ (Chromium six is the toxic chemical featured in the Erin Brockovich movie.)
Within two days my cat got sick from the well water, so I immediately switched us to bottled water.
NOW everyone is quick to tell me ‘Don’t drink the water!’
Not sure why they didn’t mention that before I discovered it was toxic on my own.
There’s also a lovely creek here.
Hmm… do you think this is where they might be getting the well water?
Which brings me to the brain-eating amoeba…
My knuckles are still white and now my eyes have that thing where they think stationary objects are moving.
You know that thing that happens when you’ve been staring at a moving item (in my case the road, or that text crawl at the bottom of a tv screen) for a looooong time and then you stop staring at it and then the stationary objects around you suddenly look like they’re moving?
Yeah. I’ve got that.
And white knuckles.
Holy Dirty Diapers!
I know y’all think I’m brave, but I scared myself. Actually, the crappy condition of the LA freeways scared me. The roads (the 405, parts of the 101, and parts of the 5) were SO BAD I thought I had flat tires. Plural. Seriously. But, wait! There’s more…
It was touch and go for a while there. But two relatively minor sewer problems later, and one emergency trip to the vet, and I am officially on my way to San Diego.
Holy Crap, y’all. What was I thinking taking my (not so) skinny butt on the road in a big RV?
With a cat that hates to be in moving vehicles?
I’m sure this is just my usual panic-mode of coping with new situations, combined with the “RV newbie” fear. Right? (say ‘yes’) This will probably all be old hat after this first test run is over and I get back to northern California in about two and a half weeks.
Driving from northern California to BlogHer in southern California is actually a perfect opportunity for a test run. I’m sure I’ve packed way too much stuff, and in some cases not nearly enough (Food? Who needs food?).
But I have an outfit for most every occasion and that’s what’s important. Yes, and shoes. I plan to be at BlogHer in time for the Thursday night party in one of the aforementioned outfits. This RV? She’s got closet.
My motto is: There’s no sense in traveling if you can’t bring your cutest clothes.
(Video of the inside of my RV at end of post.) But, wait! There’s more…
