This is another episode of Tales From the RV Park, stories from the RV parks where I’ve camped. Disclaimer: These stories are fictitious, happened in nightmares, are hearsay, and/or are what others recounted to me. I am part Irish, so there is likely a good deal of exaggeration. The names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent. There is no relation to persons living, dead, or in jail, even if you think so. In other words, don’t bother trying to sue me.

It’s a shame you can’t buy common sense like you can buy deodorant.

I forgot a few items in my last post:

The Office…

I forgot to mention Cletus, the huge five-inch katydid, was set free about a week ago. Yay!

No new insects have arrived (*knocks on wood*), but I did get to meet the arachnophile’s two Boas and one Python yesterday. Yes, I did pet them.

Any one of his 30-plus spiders freak me out a lot more than the snakes. I did request a tour, but I did not touch the spiders.

Where do I find these jobs??!

The Life of Pye…

Pye is still bonkers, bless her heart. She’s still a bit freaked out over the Mystery Monster, approaching the right-hand side of the dash with caution, looking around before eating. I have yet to discover what the Mystery Monster is or was. Knowing Pye –  and we have all suspected for some time she hears voices – she may very well have hallucinations, too. It wouldn’t surprise me all that much, considering.

A couple nights ago, she even curled up in bed with me in the middle of the night- a hot, Texas night. Since she finally realized I’m not going to play with her when I’m sleeping, she never sleeps in bed with me unless it’s really cold. Of course, she takes her half of the bed out of the middle.

The RV Park…

I also forgot to mention the first week I was there a guy died in his RV. The details are rather gruesome, so feel free to skip down a couple paragraphs to “Last night…” if you’re squeamish or eating lunch.

The guy introduced below, whom I’ll call Perpetually Plastered, lives between the Jolly Drunk and the Guy Who Died.

After a series of typical 100-degree Texas days, PP noticed a noxious odor coming from the RV next door. He saw something dripping from the bottom of the RV. He also saw the guy’s kitten scratching at the window, trying to get out, and flies plastered to the screen, trying to get in.

So sad (kitten), and eeeew (flies, odor, dripping stuff!!)!

PP rallied the office staff, and they called the local emergency responders. As soon as they opened the door, the kitten ran out and was only seen once a few days later. If I see it, Pye is going to have a new sibling.

Word is the body was too deteriorated to do an autopsy, which sounds odd to me if he was supposedly only “missing” for four to five days. Although, the electrical problems may account for some of that: Adding to the gross factor is the fact his power was out – a common problem with the RV spaces along the poorly-supplied electric lines of that back row.

Last night I learned Perpetually Plastered, who lives next door to the Jolly Drunk, has FOUR DUI’s/DWI’s (Driving Under the Influence/Driving While Intoxicated)! He’s in his early to mid-thirties and these DUI’s have been collected within the last several years. One is in another state.

A few weeks ago he got his FIFTH drunken incident: a Public Intoxication – with an added Child Endangerment. Nice. The rumor goes he was at a local festival, wasted off his ass, with his kids more or less in tow. He became separated from one (or more) or them, but failed to notice before the cops did. I’ve met some of the law enforcement in this town and they’re easy-going – unless you’re an asshole.

As if that wasn’t scary enough… guess what PP does for a living? He drives a commercial truck that hauls frac sand (oil field stuff). He’s been doing it for years and works at the same company of my neighbor’s husband. We can’t fathom how he’s been able to keep a driver’s license, let alone a commercial driver’s license after the first DUI. Someone must be on “the take.”