Tales From the Office: It’s An Episode of Breaking Bad
Fear not, my dear Kernutties, fans of Breaking Bad, Walter White is alive and well and living in Texas… posing as my boss.
But before we get to that, let’s recap what the new job has been like over the last few months:
In my first couple weeks there, I was quarantined with Roscoe the Racoon. (The update to that post is here.)
Also living in the office was a giant (pet) katydid, Cletus. In addition, one coworker, Spiderman, has over 30 pet spiders, six pet snakes, centipedes, lizards, gekkos, and probably a bunch of other stuff it’s better I not know about.
For those of you following the Spider Prostitution ring, as of a couple weeks ago the spider had not yet been pimped out for the hot weekend in Dallas, nor the trip to New Mexico. (I have no idea what the delay might be, but I’m starting to feel sorry for the little guy. He just wants some lovin’.) I will keep you posted should he get laid.
Meanwhile, I did discover the source of the Spider Prostitution Network…
Facebook. Yes, folks, it’s true. Somehow Mark Zuckerberg has managed to revolutionize yet another networking arena by melding it with Facebook. Spiderman informed me Facebook is how he was able to so quickly locate a female spider with which to “hook up” his male. Facebook is the place to get your spider laid.
(sarcasm alert) Gee, I’m so glad I joined.
I don’t make this stuff up, I just report it.
An Episode of Breaking Bad
Just when I thought the series was gone forever, this was the scene today on the floor behind my desk…
All of the visible items, including the sacks in the background, arrived within the last 24 hours.
Keep in mind we’re working in a trailer in the middle of nowhere. Ya, does that ring any bells???
It was just like a scene from Breaking Bad: White powers sat in bags on the counters. The guys were mixing chemicals with all the bottles and tubes you see in the photo above. But the results were off; the product wasn’t coming out correctly. It smelled awful. They kept talking about how they couldn’t produce the right shade of blue, it was too dark. It needed to be a light blue.
!!!
Umm… ??
Aw, shit. Where is my HAZMAT suit from when I visited the chickens?
Teaser: There may be a move in my near future. For some crazy reason, I want to be closer to the lab trailer. (I should have my head examined.) The commute from Cow-Chicken-Oil Town is a long one, so I am actively looking for a new RV park. Preferably one without crackhead women peeing in my yard.
The stench of desperation, working on top of the box the lab glass came in lol.
LOL So true!
Hurry and finish telling us all about this, PLEASE!
Magee
They were still trying to get “the right shade of light blue” when I left the office. Not sure if they got it, but the equipment was gone the next morning. They were doing a new (to them) chemical test. They do bioremediation for oilfield companies. Not nearly as nefarious an enterprise as it looks 🙂
Well, that’s what they’re telling me.
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