How to kill Bugzilla, my once well-groomed rommate.
Some of you may remember Bugzilla, my new roommate and the adventurous sleepless night we had.
He’s baaaack!
(If you don’t know about Bugzilla, this story won’t make sense. Go ahead and read the link above, then come back. We’ll wait.)
It’s been almost a year and a half since Bugzilla’s last appearance. He must have kept to himself all that time, coming out only when I wasn’t around. Until a couple nights ago…
Around 10 p.m. I was getting ready for bed, collecting my book and phone to bring into the bedroom with me. I got dressed for bed, which is to say I was scantily-clad. I returned to the kitchen to shut off the light, and there on my counter was Bugzilla!
Apparently, he couldn’t wait one second longer for me to leave the room and shut off the lights.
Bugzilla is no longer afraid of the light. Even worse, Bugzilla is no longer afraid of me.
He scurries back and forth across the front edge of the counter while staring at me, as if marking out his territory. Meanwhile, I stand stock still, trying to decide how to try and kill him this time. I’m standing there watching his every move, mentally recounting the many unsuccessful methods I’d previously employed to try end his scurrying life. I have a can of Deep Woods OFF (with the strong bug-killing chemical DEET, also toxic to humas) on the same counter he’s protecting. (I’ve been using it to kill sugar ants, but that’s another story!) Perhaps it will work better than the hair-spray.
I’m debating if I can get to the can of Deep Woods OFF with DEET before he does, when HE LAUNCHES AT ME.
He deliberately flew right into my naked stomach. I screamed. I screamed and jumped around, brushing at my body with my hands. Yes, I’m a girl. You’d have screamed and jumped around, too, if a big bug flew at your naked stomach!
I look around, but can’t see where he went. I grab the OFF with bug-killing DEET from the counter and head to my bedroom where I call a friend. I am not staying the night with Bugzilla on the loose inside, and Pye is out for the night chasing bugs outside instead of earning her kibbles by protecting the inside of the house from bugs.
I’m about to leave the house for the night. Then Bugzilla appears near the floor, in my path. I spray him with the bug-killing chemical DEET.
Yippee! Direct hit!
He flies at me AGAIN! Another calculated hit to the stomach. WTF? (This not a good testimonial for Deep Woods OFF with bug-killing DEET. I recall it had NO effect on the Texas Coast mosquitoes. I thought perhaps they had become immune to it, and rather considered the scent of the spray an indication there was a tasty human nearby.)
I hit Bugzilla with the spray two more times, both direct hits, but he continues to fly around unfazed. Meanwhile, I’m getting deja vu. And I’m getting toxic-to-humans DEET all over my house.
Finally, sensing I won’t spray DEET on my cream-colored, pleated fabric, non-washable RV shades, he lands on them. We both rest for a minute, debating what to do next.
After a couple minutes, I notice he’s preoccupied with cleaning his face and antennae. Could it be the DEET is working?
I decide to capture him in a Tupperware. Risking the possibility of crushing the pleats in my non-washable RV shades, I grab a plastic container from the cabinet and move it over him. Amazingly, I’m able to get the container in place over him with little fuss. He realizes too late what’s happening, and wildly tries to get out as I slide the lid under and capture him!
I captured Bugzilla! But I don’t know what to do next. Each possbile way I think of to try and kill him has a flaw. I need something that is guaranteed to work. Adding anxiety to the situation, the lid I’d grabbed to cover the Tupperware is not the one that fits the container, it’s bigger so I can’t snap it shut. I place Bugzilla, now in his new home, back on the counter he so coveted and place the can of OFF with DEET on the lose lid to hold it down.
I know! I’ll sell tickets to see the World’s Biggest Cockroach, like at a carnival! “See BUGZILLA! The world’s best groomed cockroach!” Hey, I never said I was well.
Then I leave for my friend’s house. I’m still not staying the night with Bugzilla in the house.
I wake up in the bug-free safety of my friend’s house, and have breakfast with bovines.
Breakfast with bovines. Bugzilla was not present.
I returned home that afternoon only to find Bugzilla had died. Perhaps the OFF with bug-killing DEET worked after all.
Now I can get back to trying to kill sugar ants. Unlike everything else in Texas, they are the smallest bug, at least the smallest that I’ve ever seen. But they are harder to kill than Bugzilla.
Pingback:Bugzilla, my new roommate. - Kernut the Blond
Sugar ants (it is so ladylike nice for you to call them that) are not the smallest Lone Star critter. The Eutrombicula alfreddugesi is far smaller and far more irritating. You may know the the bug by another name.
Oh, MB, did you have to tell me about Chiggers?! They can’t invade your house, can they? That would be horrid.
Are you sure you weren’t over-thinking it? Why not just swat the bugger with a magazine, or boot or something? Your boot shouldn’t be too toxic… Depending on what you’ve stepped in recently.
Ah, but I did try that last time, and he ran out from underneath (see previous post on Bugzilla). A commenter on that post pointed out that roaches have collapsible spines. Yikes! Another mentioned that not even beheading will kill them.
But apparently being covered in DEET and spending some time in Tupperware will do the trick!
Keep the cat inside. ….. The cat will protect you, or at least keep you awake to look for the critter!!!
Did you know that where there dares to be one cockroach, there are uncountable others you can’t see or find, except unexpectedly?
They don’t ‘crunch’ nicely, and squashing them makes a mess. I suggest you put boric acid powder in all the places the cat can’t walk or reach, such as behind the microwave, and inside the cabinet doors and drawers, etc. In Texas, all of the Ace Hardware stores will know exactly what you are asking for, even if it has a more sophisticated name.
If the cat is outside at night, put some of that tacky, sticky flypaper along the walls, and edges of the cabinet. In the morning, you can drop the long strips of tape into the trash, along with the writhing, wiggling little nasty bugs. LOL (Go, Kernut, Go!! :-))
Hugs,
Becky
Thank you for the tips, Becky!
I doubt Pye will protect me from a big bug. I don’t know why I think that, but it might have something to do with her starving when she was a wild park kitty. I’d watch her try to catch bugs at night. When she finally got so hungry she let me get close to her, she was skin and bones. Not much of a hunter, that one. Doesn’t even know what to do with a live minnow trapped in a bowl. Seriously.
I will try the boric acid. My grandmother used to use that for ants… and I have those, too.
Hugs, and see you at the coast this winter!
In my last apartment I abandoned one whole wall of cabinets because of a huge black spider who lived inside. Scared the crap out of me. All my food got crammed into the cabinets on the opposite wall. Seriously. I’m not making this up.
OMG! You are too funny! Why didn’t you just kill it?
Or at least charge it rent!
Hi Kernut,
Bu ful Kit tt tay somethin like one o mine. The way i first saw you is revisiting things i love like the “comedy pet theater” and a
guy not far from where i live invented an course of his own called squirrel circus com it involves bungee cords and corn cobs in cages.
See it on u tube. In the meantime I have a habit i developed allways putting the cretures outside. I catch em quick. Born in Bklyn N.Y.
but grew up between there and Louisville, K.Y. Anyhow my first bug experiences was catchin spiders and I did not want any in my jar
except the black widow. I was five or so when that and bumble bees were the thing. Took one in the house in a jar and mentioned to my Aunt who said thats no black widow and laughed. Then I held up the jar and said look at the underbelly at the red hourglass that tells you it is. Then she started screamin get that thing out of here etc etc. then another time my cousin took me to a vimpire movie and I came home & thru a rubber bat and my Aunt went nuts again. Poor ole Aunt Manie. Sometimes when riding my bike down the driveway there way a scorpe in on the side of the house by the door and Grandma showed me how you sweep it away with the broom. The only bug I really respected was a pinching bug that was on the sidewalk one day. I was bout 11 at the time and started teasing it with a pensil when it snapped my pencil in two. That is when i said bye to the pincher bug. Ants I find do not like to cross paths not that they wont just dont like it. So wet yer finger example vinegar draw a line it may keep them off your food a moment or so. Then throw the peels outside so they can plan to eat out. When I was bout 12 the baby pool I used for a dark sea adventure. I made a boat out of one of my Aunts hair spray lids and glued match sticks including a sail. And I had a model aircraft carrier. I put black Soilder ants on the lid boat and honey bees on the carrier then made them collide. I was an odd bord kid and not too spiritual at the time.
Now i try not to hurt a fly. I like your R V ness and have been thinking about it lately. Most places where I am do not want cats at all in their rentals. And I get sea sick too, was considering a sailboat with 4 feline crewmates in little life vests. Cute but id probably be chummin more than i would like. Any R V ideas and advice let me know. Love the squirlatrail & Pye is hot yo! Yer bud Helen