For Ten Things Tuesday, I thought I’d give y’all some more important information. You know, ’cause I like you to leave this blog feeling like you got a little chuckle out of it and that you’re a little smarter for having come here.

And so you can say you come here to learn something. It’s kind of like when you say you read Playboy for the articles. Not that you do that.

Ten Things I Learned This Past Week

I learned…

1. I can wear my underwear inside out for half the day before I notice. As @CardsfanClay tweeted: ‘As long as they weren’t on the outside it’s fine.’ Good point.

2. Installing a right-click/copy prevention plugin is upsetting to some of my readers. I had no idea – I swear! I’ve turned off the right-click thingy. The text that used to pop up was my attempt at humor, I don’t actually check anyone’s IP address or send them to the blog police. And NO, I seriously don’t think my stuff is worth stealing, but the thieves aren’t picky, apparently. I saw some of their sites – and while they did steal some top-notch stuff, they also stole pure crap, like what you read here. Anyway, that’s probably why everyone’s stopped commenting on my site anymore. I’m sure it’s not my writing.

3. California is doomed with the re-election of Jerry Brown, 28 years after his first attempt. But then I think it would have been doomed with Meg Whitman at the helm, too. I’m just waiting for Gavin Newsom to continue his move up the ladder to Governor. Unless he screws up as Lt. Governor (kind of hard to do), then I’ll gladly vote for him for Governor in four years. Ok, I’m off the political soapbox. I rarely get up there – it wasn’t fun.

4. Twitter says I’m just like The Bloggess, with whom I’m having a secret relationship. It’s secret because she doesn’t know about it. Well ok, what Twitter actually said is the awesome and hot A Vapid Blond is similar to The Bloggess, and Twitter says I’m similar to A Vapid Blond. Therefore, by extension, I’m similar to The Bloggess. Don’t you love my math? That’s fuckin awesome, y’all! Now The Bloggess and I can get married, in some states.

This says I'm like The Bloggess. Just trust me, it does.

5. Twitter also said I”m similar to these other awesome hotties: WickedShawn, subWOW, and MommyWantsVodka. Daaaamn, y’all – that’s some fine company with whom to be associated. I’m hella flattered. Although, they might not feel quite the same way ’bout that.

6. In addition to background checks, any potential mates should get brain scans. As if it isn’t hard enough finding a decent guy to date now they need brain scans! WTF is a gal to do? Dr. Amen, the author of the book, said he was going to start BrainMatch.com, a dating service that would match up compatible brain scans. I was terribly disappointed to see the website is non-existent because I would’ve signed up in a heartbeat. Not that there necessarily is a match for my wacky brain.

7. I’m addicted to the Droid cell phone – and I don’t even own one. Yet. *holds out arm, tapping veins at inside of elbow* “Just tie me off, and don’t cut that shit – give me the apps straight.” (Only drug addicts will get this.)

8. And I learned I can’t seem to come up with ten similar things on a weekly basis. For the second time in a row I’ve only got eight. I’m terribly sorry! I feel like I’ve let you all down. I love the theme and will keep it up, but it probably won’t be every Tuesday. I would call it “The Unknown Number of Items List for Tuesday” , but that doesn’t quite roll off the tongue does it?

You guys did great last week, so feel free to add 9 and 10 in the comments. I want you to feel like this is your blog, too. A little. That’s why you get two and I get eight.