Cadillac Graveyard. Yup. Ass-end up. In the dirt.

Today, for your traveling pleasure I present you all with The 8 Weirdest Places In America that I plan to visit.

There’s 9 if you count this blog. Bonus for you!

As you know, I like touring brothels. I love seeing the weirdest of the weird, the strangest of the strange. No really, I’m freaky like that.

Particularly fond of these American Absurdities, I affectionately call this collection of bizarre sights and wacky places I’d like to visit ‘Cheezy Americana’. Vegas is a city based on Cheezy Americana. I love it in all it’s glittery and wacky tackiness.

Since you seem like my cheezy blog, I thought you all might like other things “Cheezy Americana”.

I made a list for you. You’re welcome.

Not having actually been to any of these places yet (consider this a partial bucket list), I can only tell you what you’ll see when you go. In no particular order:

1. Wrap me up in The Largest Ball of Twine. Just like it sounds folks: A big ass ball of twine. Ok, so I did warn you I was a bit freaky. Believe it or not, there are two! One in Kansas and one in Iowa.

2.  The Largest Frying Pan. I’m suddenly hungry. Do you think they can make a big pan cookie in it? Mmmm, now I want cookies. Thanks Largest Frying Pan.

3. Continuing the theme of large and weird household items: The Largest Bottle of Ketchup. It even has an official fan club and website, people! At this point, you may be thinking I have a fetish for kitchen items. No, I actually have a fetish for large items. Uh-hem.

Moving on…

4. I want to see The Cadillac Graveyard. This is a collection of Cadillacs buried ass-end-up in the dirt somewhere in Texas. Yup. Totally cool.

5. Oh, and there’s the morbid Mutter Museum with a large collection of the weirdest and grossest of the human anatomy. Not sure how long I could take looking at bizarre pickled body parts and medical oddities, but I’m very willing to give it a shot.

Oil Derrick at night.

These last few may, or may not count as Cheezy Americana, but they’re still affectionately on the list…

6. Having just returned from my trip to Santa Barbara, this long-standing curiosity was once again piqued: A tour of the Oil Derricks off the coast of Santa Barbara. Wait! Don’t throw anything, I’m not BP. Granted, this isn’t a great time to like anything “oil”, but hear me out. Think of them not in their function, but rather as a curious place in your view but just out of your reach. I grew up seeing their little mysterious twinkly lights turn on every night as the sun set. To me, they are beautiful islands of lights floating in the ocean. I want to see how they’re laid out and I would LOVE to see Santa Barbara from the view of the oil derricks as the sun sets.

7. There’s Creed’s Castle in Utah. Unless you live in southwestern Utah, you’ve probably never heard of this place. It’s a large custom ‘castle-like’ home on top of a plateau in the center of a small town in Utah. When I visit a family member, I see it perched high above the town, atop the plateau, just beckoning me to see the inside. Interested in knowing the person who would build this, I’ve always wanted to go up to the door and knock. One day, after a lot of searching, I found the entrance to the long driveway! Unfortunately, the aforementioned family member freaked out, sure someone would shoot us at the gate (WTF??!), and insisted I turn around. Turn’s out Mr. Creed is a very kind a welcoming person to those who happen upon Creed’s Castle. Not one to shoot unsuspecting and curious visitors, he loves showing people around his collections of stuff. I’m so bummed I didn’t just keep going up the driveway that day. Someday soon I hope to get back there and invite myself over. 🙂

8. Lastly, I want to get my ‘voyeur’ on at the Power Exchange. This is an adult play space and I’m really curious what goes on there. Ok, that may have nothing to do with Cheezy Americana and may be something entirely different. Maybe I’ll write about it on The Graphic Details of Intimate Moments 😉 Let’s all go! Who’s in?

Have you been to a freaky place that is or isn’t on my list? Tell me all about it Darlings! 😉

UPDATED 8/1/10: Yahoo! Travel “America’s Strangest Roadside Attractions” and Travel & Leisure Magazine “America’s Strangest Roadside Attractions” totally copied me. I published mine first. Just saying. It’s ok, I’m totally flattered.