Happy Friday 5: Amish Jokes, and Pennsylvania Countryside
On today, Black Friday, I am not shopping. I need groceries at the moment, but I’d rather not brave the hordes of frenzied consumers after they’ve spent a sleepless night in a lawn chair in front of some big box store because they are hell-bent on saving a few bucks on the latest/bigger/faster/shinier piece of equipment.
As a subtle protest to consumerism and our conditioned “need” to have the latest/bigger/faster/shinier piece of whatever, today’s post is mostly brought to you by the Amish, people who make a practice of avoiding such pursuits.
This made me laugh when I first saw it: a barn for the Amish buggies – at Walmart!! Yes, the Walmarts in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, are different that all the other Walmarts I’ve visited across the country.
A couple Amish Jokes:
Robbery
Two fellers were in desperate need of cash, but admittedly were a bit cowardly.
So the one suggested they break into the Amish market.
The logic being that since the Amish were non-resistant, even if they were caught, no harm could befall them.
Thus they carried out their plot.
However, just as they were breaking into the cash register, the owner turned on the lights and confronted them, a shotgun pointed directly at them.
Calmly, the Amish man said, “Boys, I would never do thee any harm, yet you are standing where I am about to shoot.”
Keeping Warm
An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an open buggy one cold, blustery January day.
The daughter said to the mother, “My hands are freezing cold.”
The mother replied, “Put your hands between your legs. The body heat will warm them up.”
So the daughter did, and her hands warmed up.
The next day, the daughter was riding in the buggy with her boyfriend.
The boyfriend said, “My hands are freezing cold.”
The daughter said, “Put them between my legs, they’ll warm up.”
The next day, the boyfriend is driving in the buggy with the daughter.
He said, “My nose is freezing cold.”
The daughter said, “Put it between my legs. It will warm up.”
He did, and his nose warmed up.
The next day, the boyfriend is driving again with the daughter and he said, “My penis is frozen solid.”
The next day, the daughter is driving in the buggy with her mother, and she says to her mother, “Have you ever heard of a penis?”
The slightly concerned mother says, “Sure, why do you ask?”
The daughter says, “Well, they make one hell of a mess when they thaw out.
Yes, they do.
A great RV Park: You all know I rarely do this, but I’m about to recommend an RV park: Dutch Cousin in Denver, PA. It’s not an Amish park, but it is quintessential Lancaster County. I stayed there for several months. It’s clean, quiet, and the owners are really good people.
A lovely Amish home: This was one of my favorite homes/farms in all the Pennsylvania Countryside that I saw. At first I thought this was a public park it’s so picturesque. The grounds are meticulous! I love the creek winding through the manicured lawn, the white picket bridge crossing it, and the gazebo overlooking it all.
May you all have a blessed weekend!
An Amish joke:
An Amish family went to a mall for the first time and were amazed by everything they saw. To take more in, the all split up. Mamma went one way, Pappa and son went another.
While passing through the center of the mall, they saw something they’d even never heard of before. It was a wonderous box. They saw the doors open and watched an old lady step inside and the doors close behind her. Two minutes later, the doors opened again, and out stepped a gorgeous young woman.
Pappa said to his son, “Quick, boy, go get your mother.”
LOL! Good one! Thanks, Bluz! I hope you are well and had a great Thanksgiving!