(sung to the tune of Adele’s “Hello”…)

Hello from the other side

I must’ve gone a thousand miles

I’m sorry but it’s long past time for me to move on

For such a long time you were my home

But not anymore

Hello from the other side

I borrowed this from Adele’s new song “Hello”, (if you don’t know what this is, you should play it…. and possibly get out more). I rewrote the song, just a little. I’m sure she won’t mind, you know, because my version is clearly awesome.

Just as how I can’t tell short story, this is my (long) way of saying I have moved – and will be almost outside of Texas by the time you read this. (I know! I can hardly believe it myself.)

But let me back up a bit…

It took me 13 hours to go 2 1/2 hours.

Huh? What is she talking about now?

I left La Grange at 7:45 a.m. and got to Gatesville, about 2 1/2 hours away, thirteen hours later. I like to take a leisurely drive on my way to any location, but not that leisurely. This was hours of waiting for minor issues to be taken care of, and for Progressive to get their head out of their ass…

This was 4 1/2 hours of trying to get someone with the right tools to put air in my tires. Seriously: Air. In. Tires. The tow truck guy Progressive sent came from over half an hour away, didn’t have the right tools, didn’t have the strength to get my hub cap off, and his compressors were too small for my 85 psi tires. ??? He got four of the six tires filled – after breaking his air chuck and having to put quarters in the gas station’s air pump to put enough in the third and fourth tires so I could go down the street to the tire store and have them finish the last two tires. Did I mention the first guy also tried to put 100 psi in my tires when, before he even started, I had clearly shown him they took 85 psi MAX? Ya.

Four and a half hours it took for this ordeal. Did I mention it was raining the entire time?

After the air was in all SIX tires, I made it an hour’s drive to stop for lunch in Cameron, only to wait another 1 1/2 hours waiting for Progressive to get it together and get me a jump for my dead battery. Progressive NEVER did get it together to get me a jump. A. Jump. Of. A. Battery.

About an hour and a half after my first call to them they ended up calling the local Sheriff to have them help me. You’d think I was stuck in the middle of nowhere. Nope. I was in a small town, but it wasn’t that small. Fed up with Progressive’s lousy roadside-lack-of-assistance, I went to the house next door and a kind gentleman drove his car over to give me a jump. I got back on the road, went down the street to O’Reily’s and bought a new battery.

Next, I made it to Bucee’s in Temple. I was so excited: I had a safe place to stay for the night, there were other RVs there, and of course, Bucee’s awesome food stuffs. (If you have never been to a large Bucee’s, you really must check it out – it’s a convenience store on steroids. Bring your wallet.)

Two hours and $25-worth of Bucee’s yummy food stuffs later the manager sent one of his unfortunate charges to kick out all RVers – “no camping overnight”. It was dark, I was exhausted and just falling asleep, and now I had to find another safe place to stay.

My boss suggested the Wal-Mart in Gatesville, so I went. It’s posted “no trucks with trailers or semi trucks overnight” but there were already a couple there, so I stayed. Couldn’t sleep – too loud and too much activity in the parking lot. Lots of folks like to just sit in their cars in Wal-Mart parking lots… I’m sure I do not want to know why.

The next day wasn’t as bad, but I still made lousy time. It took all day to go 4 1/2 hours. I was so tired, I drove really slow and stopped for a long lunch break. Still, it was slower going than I was planning for.

Top Bucket List Item: Cadillac Ranch

But today tomorrow, I’m going to the Cadillac Ranch. Those of you who’ve been following me since the beginning, or have known me for a long time, know this is a big deal for me. Not just because it’s an iconic goofy roadside attraction gloriously showcasing all that is Cheezy Americana, but because of its longevity on and place of honor near the top of my bucket list. Yes, God willing and the creek don’t rise, today I will check off one of the top three items on my bucket list!