14 Signs You’re Over 40
40 sounds great. Not that I relate. I’m still 27. Always 27.
We interrupt the regularly scheduled post to bring you… well, this.
First, let me just say I did not write this. I wish I had, but I didn’t. The following was sent via email by a friend…
If you are 40, or older, you might think this is hilarious.
When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning…. Uphill… Barefoot… BOTH ways. yadda, yadda, yadda
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they’ve got it!
But now that I’m over the ripe old age of forty, I can’t help but look around and notice the youth of today. They’ve got it so easy. I mean, compared to my childhood, they live in a damn Utopia.
And I hate to say it, but kids today don’t know how good they’ve got it!
1) I mean, when I was a kid we didn’t have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!
2) There was no e-mail!! We had to actually write somebody a letter – with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox, and it would take like a week to get there! Stamps were 10 cents!
3) Child Protective Services didn’t care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass! Nowhere was safe!
4) There were no MP3’s or Napsters or iTunes! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself!
5) Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio, and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car. We’d play our favorite tape and “eject” it when finished, and then the tape would come undone rendering it useless. ‘Cause, hey, that’s how we rolled, Baby! Dig?
6) We didn’t have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal, that’s it!
7) There weren’t any freakin’ cell phones either. If you left the house, you just didn’t make a damn call or receive one. You actually had to be out of touch with your “friends”. OH MY GOSH !!! Think of the horror… not being in touch with someone 24/7!!! And then there’s TEXTING. Yeah, right. Please! You kids have no idea how annoying you are.
8) And we didn’t have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your parents, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, the collection agent… you just didn’t know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!
9) We didn’t have any fancy PlayStation or Xbox video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like ‘Space Invaders’ and ‘Asteroids’. Your screen guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!!! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen… Forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!
10) You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel!!! NO REMOTES!!! Oh, no, what’s the world coming to?!?!
11) There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I’m saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards!
12) We didn’t have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove! Imagine that!
13) Our parents told us to stay outside and play… all day long. Oh, no, no electronics to soothe and comfort. And if you came back inside… you were doing chores!
14) And car seats – oh, please! Mom threw you in the back seat and you hung on. If you were lucky, you got the “safety arm” across the chest at the last moment if she had to stop suddenly, and if your head hit the dashboard, well that was your fault for calling “shot gun” in the first place!
See! That’s exactly what I’m talking about. Kids today have got it too easy. Today’s kids wouldn’t have lasted five minutes back in 1970 or any time before.
Regards,
The Over 40 Crowd
This was too good not to share. Not that I’m old enough to relate to any of it. Nope, I’m still 27. YES I AM!!
I wonder if the author has a blog? They should. Please share this awesomeness so those of use who can relate can enjoy!
That’s funny stuff! I just hit 50 so I could probably add a few more… ; )
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Some of this is wrong. When I was a kid, we didn’t have a tape deck in the car. We had a radio. An AM radio. That meant you could only listen to whatever station was in range and when you went into a tunnel, you lost the signal.
Also, no Atari. The first video game I saw was Pong, and that only in arcades. We did have pinball. Which was in full color and three D!
Cowboy – Feel free to add more! I’ve thought of a couple myself.
Jelsemium – We didn’t have a tape deck in the car until I was in my teens. But we did have an 8-Track! OMG I had forgotten about that! And we had the big tapes to go in it. Yay for pinball! I vaguely remember Atari, and I think you’re right… pong was first. We did have a computer, too… it was a Radio Shack Commodore 64 (I think)… There was only DOS and no Windows. Not sure, but I think Bill Gates was still a kid, too. LOL
and no bike helmets or DVRs! i could not live without my DVR!
.-= pattypunker´s last blog ..10 important factoids about me =-.
LOL So true – no helmets! Ahhh, the DVR! That was my latest addiction. I JUST gave it up about two weeks ago. I’m doing ok, though. *twitch twitch*
I joined one of those clubs and got like 20 8-tracks for a penny or some rediculous thing. You had to cancel after you got them or they sent you more at a high price.
Loved this: “If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself!”
Do you remember us hitchhiking together? I remember it — very vaguely.
I remember when cable TV was brand new. I remember when you could still smoke in movie theaters and anywhere else. I remember when nobody dreamed of wearing bike helmets or seatbelts or any other kind of protective gear. I remember when condoms were only for preventing pregnancy. I remember when pay phones only cost a dime. I remember pay phones!