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Kernut the Blond

Kernut the Blond
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Category Archives: When I’m Not Here

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Looking For a Common Law Husband

Kernut the Blond Posted on December 16, 2014 by KernutDecember 16, 2014

Texas is a Common Law state. According to Findlaw.com, you can say you’re married and that’s it. No ceremony, no nothing.

Yet one more reason Texas is awesome.
I’m looking for a common law husband. Why? Because I need health insurance.

But, wait! There's more...
Posted in I'm Too Young, Something's wrong with her, When I'm Not Here | Tagged It's Possible I Need Therapy, The Kindness of Strangers

Tales From the Office: The Spider is Getting Some, and Breaking Bad Blue

Kernut the Blond Posted on November 3, 2014 by KernutNovember 3, 2014

Last we left off, my coworker “Spiderman” found someone to whom he could pimp his spider out for a long weekend in Dallas, was requesting transportation to Dallas for his horny male spider.

You new folks may still not realize I do not make this stuff up. Hang around a while and you’ll see little corners of the world you did not know, or perhaps ever wanted to know, existed. You’re welcome. I consider this a service in line with Public Service Announcements.

But, wait! There's more...
Posted in Jobs I Had, Trouble, When I'm Not Here | Tagged Crazy Jobs I Had, Crimes and Misdemeanors, Tales From the RV Park

Tales From the Office: It’s An Episode of Breaking Bad

Kernut the Blond Posted on October 21, 2014 by KernutOctober 21, 2014

Fear not, my dear Kernutties, fans of Breaking Bad, Walter White is alive and well and living in Texas… posing as my boss.

But, wait! There's more...
Posted in Jobs I Had, When I'm Not Here | Tagged Crazy Jobs I Had, Crimes and Misdemeanors

The Day the Hose Froze: A Blond Moment

Kernut the Blond Posted on December 17, 2013 by KernutDecember 19, 2013
December in Texas.

and then turned on the faucet… *pthhh pthhhh* Water trickled and sputtered out of the faucet for a couple seconds before stopping altogether.

??

I tried it again a few minutes later… *pthhh pthhh pthh* Then nothing.

?? Could it be my wrapped pipes froze?

I turned on the hot water heater. My logic behind this: If the wrapped hose and pipes are frozen, I should still be able to get water from the hot water heater, which is inside and independent of the frozen hose outside. I later learned this logic is a tad “blond”.

But, wait! There's more...
Posted in When I'm Not Here, WTF? | Tagged Blond Moment, I'm A Lemming, Things That Make you Go Huh

A day at the park: Myrtle the Turtle

Kernut the Blond Posted on September 19, 2013 by KernutSeptember 19, 2013
Baby snapping turtle

Meet Myrtle the Turtle. She’s a baby Alligator Snapping Turtle, and her soft shell is only about one inch long. This is an extreme closeup photo – she’s only about the size of a quarter. Ranger Roscoe just loves her tiny little tail. (you can see it in the above photo)

But, wait! There's more...
Posted in Animals, When I'm Not Here, Worlds Largest, Worlds Smallest | Tagged Texas, Things You Should Know, Worlds Largest

The reason I’m not all here…

Kernut the Blond Posted on June 28, 2013 by KernutFebruary 16, 2015
Me and my ride.

It’s because sometimes I’m there: Yahoo!

Ok, maybe that’s only one reason I’m not “all here”.

In between working, sightseeing, and writing for this blog I write a little travel series for Yahoo! called “Strange RV Encounters”. It’s kind of hard to believe they let me write for them, isn’t it? Yeah, for me too.

Some of my long-time readers may recognize a few of the destinations, but I’ve had to write the articles a little differently. Unlike this goofy, poorly worded blog, Yahoo! is a proper, mainstream website — they prefer I keep my articles professional. In order to amuse myself, I sneak in a little phrase or word when I can — just to see if I can get it published.

But, wait! There's more...
Posted in Jobs I Had, When I'm Not Here | Tagged RV Travels, Weird wacky wonderful

Naked people, RV issues, and kitties.

Kernut the Blond Posted on August 25, 2012 by KernutFebruary 25, 2014
Winnebago Sightseer Slide-out issue - plastic sticking out.

There is a post coming on the Squirrel Obstacle Course, but I’ve been too busy to edit the video. So all I’ve got for you is a generic update of randomness. Your excitement is palpable, even from here.

You’re really wondering about the naked people, aren’t you? Don’t worry, that wasn’t just a catchy title, they’re coming. Err, umm, maybe they already did? I don’t know, I didn’t get to ask them.

RV Slide-out Issues

But, wait! There's more...
Posted in Tales From the RV Park, When I'm Not Here | Tagged Crimes and Misdemeanors, RV Tips, Sex - atleast someone is getting it, Tales From the RV Park

Big oilfields and big money in Texas

Kernut the Blond Posted on August 11, 2012 by KernutAugust 11, 2012
Large oil derrick in Texas

In this part of the country, atop the Eagle Ford Shale and in between all the cows, oil derricks dot the land. Besides the cows and oil derricks there’s not a lot around for many, many miles. In this particular town the bovine to human population is 10:1. At the … But, wait! There’s more…

Posted in Adventures, When I'm Not Here | Tagged America, Big Stuff, Luxury

Home on the Range – the ol’ family homestead in Kerrville, Texas

Kernut the Blond Posted on June 18, 2012 by KernutJune 18, 2012
Entrance to the ranch my grandparent's used to own.

Kernut was in Kerrville, Texas. Again. “Home, home on the range. Where the deer and the antelope play.” Kerrville, a town of about 22,000 in the northeastern area of Texas Hill Country, is where my grandparents had a small ranch for about 30 years. I was last there when I … But, wait! There’s more…

Posted in Wanderlust Is Calling, When I'm Not Here | Tagged My Parents Wish I Didn't Blog, Things That Make you Go Huh

Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves. Allegedly.

Kernut the Blond Posted on January 22, 2012 by KernutFebruary 6, 2012
Caution: Reality Ahead

This post is a mish-mash of the highlights from the beginning of my new year, much of which seems like an episode of the Twilight Zone. I’m not able to post as frequently as I’d like since I’m on the road in remote locations. My internet is spotty and electrical … But, wait! There’s more…

Posted in RV Lifestyle, Travel, When I'm Not Here | Tagged Crimes and Misdemeanors, Gypsys Tramps and Thieves

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Recent Posts: RV Travels, Zombies, Random Crap

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