Category Archives: When I’m Not Here

The reason I’m not all here…

Kernut the Blond Posted on by

It’s because sometimes I’m there: Yahoo!

Ok, maybe that’s only one reason I’m not “all here”.

Me and my ride.

Me and my ride.

*shameless self-promotion alert*

In between working, sightseeing, and writing for this blog I write a little travel series for Yahoo! called “Strange RV Encounters”. It’s a bit hard to believe they let me write for them, isn’t it? Yeah, for me too.

Some of my long-time readers may recognize a few of the destinations, but I’ve had to write the articles a little differently. Unlike this goofy, poorly worded blog, Yahoo! is a proper, mainstream website — they prefer I keep my articles professional. In order to amuse myself, I sneak in a little phrase or word when I can, just to see if I can get it published.

I used the word “poop” in an article, and it’s published. Out there, on the web, on a proper and popular mega-website. But, wait! There’s more…

Naked people, RV issues, and kitties.

Kernut the Blond Posted on by

There is a post coming on the Squirrel Obstacle Course, but I’ve been too busy to edit the video. So all I’ve got for you is a generic update of randomness. Your excitement is palpable, even from here.

You’re really wondering about the naked people, aren’t you? Don’t worry, that wasn’t just a catchy title, they’re coming. Err, umm, maybe they already did? I don’t know, I didn’t get to ask them.

RV Slide-out Issues

The living room slide on my RV has issues. It probably needs therapy, but I can’t find an RV shrink within 100 miles. There is only one, yes ONE, RV technician willing to make the long drive to this town with ten a hundred cows for every human. When describing the problem to him, his answer didn’t exactly exude confidence. I can tell he’s never encountered a problem like this one before. Crap.

I can’t close the slide to drive it to the shop over an hour away in which I have more confidence (it’s Camping World, but they don’t do mobile).

In Winnebagos with a couch attached to the living room slide-out, the carpet under the couch is covered in a sheet of clear, thick plastic (like Visqueen). This wraps around under the slide to protect the other carpet that’s part of the house/coach floor.

Most of this plastic/visqueen has come lose, rolled up under the slide, and is sticking out of the weatherstripping on the outside. (see photo) When I attempted to pull it out all the way, I realized part of it is still attached, AND a glide/slide-out strip (probably used to help glide the slide smoothly) has also come lose.

Winnebago Sightseer Slide-out issue - plastic sticking out.

Well, this just sucks.

But, wait! There’s more…

Big oilfields and big money in Texas

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In this part of the country, atop the Eagle Ford Shale and in between all the cows, oil derricks dot the land.

Large oil derrick in Texas

One of the larger oil derricks in the area, and the subject of my tour.

Besides the cows and oil derricks there’s not a lot around for many, many miles. In this particular town the bovine to human population is 10:1. At the very least.

Bovine traffic on the way to the rig.

Traffic on the way to the oil derrick.

I really wish I owned land here.

Why? you ask. Do you like cows? you ask. But, wait! There’s more…

Home on the Range – the ol’ family homestead in Kerrville, Texas

Kernut the Blond Posted on by

Kernut was in Kerrville, Texas. Again.

“Home, home on the range. Where the deer and the antelope play.”

Kerrville, a town of about 22,000 in the northeastern area of Texas Hill Country, is where my grandparents had a small ranch for about 30 years. I was last there when I was twelve – a few decades ago, or 10 years ago. Hard to say, my math isn’t so good. I’m 29, dammit!

Moving on…

Kerrville has grown quite a bit and now includes the ubiquitous WalMart. My grandmother sold the last section of the ranch several years ago, but I decided to drive by and see how it’s changed since I was a kid. When I went by I found a portion of the original property was again for sale.

And guess what? There’s a pyramid in Kerrville, Texas! Like the one in Quartzsite, Arizona, I’m pretty sure the Egyptians didn’t build this one, either.

Entrance to the ranch my grandparent's used to own.

Entrance to the ranch in Kerville.

I’d totally forgotten about the gate guard pyramid. I think my grandfather built most of it and then the current owners refurbished it.

But, wait! There’s more…

Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves. Allegedly.

Kernut the Blond Posted on by

This post is a mish-mash of the highlights from the beginning of my new year, much of which seems like an episode of the Twilight Zone.

I’m not able to post as frequently as I’d like since I’m on the road in remote locations. My internet is spotty and electrical hookups aren’t always available. That’s what boondocking is like. And you all know how I feel about the boondocking.

Ladies and Gentlemen, next stop The Twilight Zone…

Caution: Reality Ahead

Caution: Reality Ahead (but it only *looks* like reality)

A house guest, I have one.

For a few weeks. Holy Shatner! I can’t believe it, either. This one seems to be a very good one. One who cleans up, and helps around the rig with BBQs and hooking up the new toad. We are heading toward Arizona for a couple weeks before my house guest returns to their home state. [The name of said house guest is withheld to protect their reputation (notice I didn’t say ‘to protect the innocent’) because associating with me might, well, you know, not be good for someone’s reputation. Besides, we’re still trying to decide who is the Gypsy and who is the Tramp.] But, wait! There’s more…

My Zombie Ate Your Honor Student – UPDATED

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First, my undying love and gratitude to those of you who purchased items from my “Zombie Life Is Good” store.

You. Guys. Are. Awesome.

(I still can’t believe it’s not really my family buying stuff, but they swear.)

In a burst of creativity, spurred by a plethora of weird match.com men, cling-ons, and utterly dull coffee dates, I made a few new things. I told several I was too busy “working” to go out with them. I was making these t-shirts. Yup, totally busy working.

My Zombie Ate Your Honor Student

My Zombie Ate Your Honor Student

My Zombie Ate Your Honor Student - and he was tasty.

But, wait! There’s more…

What Am I Doing? Everyone I Can and The Weak Ones Twice.

Kernut the Blond Posted on by
Dirty minds think dirty thoughts.

The line starts behind me. *ahem*

This past week has been exciting (well, ‘exciting’ by my standards anyway):

I signed up for BlogHer in San Diego next August. I’m really looking forward to meeting my bloggy friends. Ok, this is probably only exciting to bloggers.

I did a little lot of virtual flirting with “GpJeff” on Twitter. (That’s a top secret alias ’cause he’s probably got a nice family and a real job and is probably embarrassed to be mentioned on this tabloid of a blog.) Anyhoo, it was good for me. I hope it was good for him, too. E-flirting is all the action I’m getting these days.

But I did have a couple real life dates this week. OMG! I know! I’m shocked, too.

One was with a long-time friend who, even though he cares very deeply for me, isn’t sure what he wants in terms of a relationship, or really if he wants one at all, blah, blah, blah. His ambivalence has certainly dampened any interest I might have had. (See, now you’re not so surprised anymore. I mean, really – who else would I attract???)  At least this one isn’t married/separated. But really, it’s enough to make a gal give up dating altogether. But, wait! There’s more…

Go Team Couch Potatoes! – UPDATED

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couch potato

Couch Potato

Believe it or not, it’s not always about me. Don’t get me wrong – it usually is ALL ABOUT ME but, again believe it or not, I actually do charitable work on a frequent basis.

Who knew?

For the first time ever, I organized one of those teams for a major walk/run event! I’m so excited. I even designed t-shirts! I do this stuff because it makes me #FURIOUSLYHAPPY .

So maybe then it is all about me after all.

Fine. I can live with that. No one else can, but I’m good with it and the cat doesn’t care.

As team captain I get to organize people (kind of like herding cats), and pick a team name. I still can’t believe they gave me that kind of authority. In all fairness, they don’t really know me.

Guess what I named the team? But, wait! There’s more…