Category Archives: When I’m Not Here

Tales From the Office: The Spider is Getting Some, and Breaking Bad Blue

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Last we left off, my coworker “Spiderman” found someone to whom he could pimp his spider out for a long weekend in Dallas, was requesting transportation to Dallas for his horny male spider.

You new folks may still not realize I do not make this stuff up. Hang around a while and you’ll see little corners of the world you did not know, or perhaps ever wanted to know, existed. You’re welcome. I consider this a service in line with Public Service Announcements.

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The Day the Hose Froze: A Blond Moment

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and then turned on the faucet… *pthhh pthhhh* Water trickled and sputtered out of the faucet for a couple seconds before stopping altogether.

??

I tried it again a few minutes later… *pthhh pthhh pthh* Then nothing.

?? Could it be my wrapped pipes froze?

I turned on the hot water heater. My logic behind this: If the wrapped hose and pipes are frozen, I should still be able to get water from the hot water heater, which is inside and independent of the frozen hose outside. I later learned this logic is a tad “blond”.

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A day at the park: Myrtle the Turtle

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Meet Myrtle the Turtle. She’s a baby Alligator Snapping Turtle, and her soft shell is only about one inch long. This is an extreme closeup photo – she’s only about the size of a quarter. Ranger Roscoe just loves her tiny little tail. (you can see it in the above photo)

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The reason I’m not all here…

Kernut the Blond Posted on by

It’s because sometimes I’m there: Yahoo!

Ok, maybe that’s only one reason I’m not “all here”.

In between working, sightseeing, and writing for this blog I write a little travel series for Yahoo! called “Strange RV Encounters”. It’s kind of hard to believe they let me write for them, isn’t it? Yeah, for me too.

Some of my long-time readers may recognize a few of the destinations, but I’ve had to write the articles a little differently. Unlike this goofy, poorly worded blog, Yahoo! is a proper, mainstream website — they prefer I keep my articles professional. In order to amuse myself, I sneak in a little phrase or word when I can — just to see if I can get it published.

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Naked people, RV issues, and kitties.

Kernut the Blond Posted on by

There is a post coming on the Squirrel Obstacle Course, but I’ve been too busy to edit the video. So all I’ve got for you is a generic update of randomness. Your excitement is palpable, even from here.

You’re really wondering about the naked people, aren’t you? Don’t worry, that wasn’t just a catchy title, they’re coming. Err, umm, maybe they already did? I don’t know, I didn’t get to ask them.

RV Slide-out Issues

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Home on the Range – the ol’ family homestead in Kerrville, Texas

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Kernut was in Kerrville, Texas. Again. “Home, home on the range. Where the deer and the antelope play.” Kerrville, a town of about 22,000 in the northeastern area of Texas Hill Country, is where my grandparents had a small ranch for about 30 years. I was last there when I … But, wait! There’s more…

Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves. Allegedly.

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This post is a mish-mash of the highlights from the beginning of my new year, much of which seems like an episode of the Twilight Zone. I’m not able to post as frequently as I’d like since I’m on the road in remote locations. My internet is spotty and electrical … But, wait! There’s more…

My Zombie Ate Your Honor Student – UPDATED

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First, my undying love and gratitude to those of you who purchased items from my “Zombie Life Is Good” store. You. Guys. Are. Awesome. (I still can’t believe it’s not really my family buying stuff, but they swear.) In a burst of creativity, spurred by a plethora of weird match.com … But, wait! There’s more…