Category Archives: Travel

London Bridge is not falling down, and there are lighthouses in Arizona, but no fog.

Kernut the Blond Posted on by

The song may say otherwise, but I assure you London Bridge is not falling down. I stood on it.

If it can hold me up, I’m sure it’s fine.

But back in the early 1960’s the bridge was falling down, unable to hold the increase in traffic over the previous 130 years.

The City of London decided to put the 130-year-old, crumbling bridge up for auction. The founder of Lake Havasu, Arizona, Robert P. McCulloch, won the bid with a cool $2,460,000 in 1968. He then spent another $7 million to bring the London Bridge to Lake Havasu – brick by brick. It took three years, and it was then reassembled over Lake Havasu.

A video view of London Bridge at Lake Havasu…

They put a little English Village next to the bridge. Probably so it wouldn’t feel homesick. But, wait! There’s more…

Flying saucers, people living in a giant golf ball, praying to the God of Golf, and giant animal statues. Also? Beware of donkeys.

Kernut the Blond Posted on by

A bit of randomness from western Arizona…

The infamous Area 51 is in Arizona, a state where many people claim to have seen UFOs.

I’ve met some of them. The people, not the UFOs.

One told me there is a local support group for alien abductees.

Huh? (I looked, but I could not find a link to the meetings.)

To capitalize on the alien folklore by simultaneously combining themes from Area 51 and nearby Route 66, some enterprising folks came up with Area 66.

It’s in a town called Yucca. Yes, it is.

A "UFO" at Area 66

A "UFO" at Area 66. It's just landing, and in a minute the green VW Bug will be flattened.

The woman running the small convenience store at Area 66 has seen UFO-type lights. She seems completely sane. Probably because she considers they were most likely aircraft from the nearby military facility.

However, the guy who insisted on building the above flying saucer for Area 66 claims to have been abducted by aliens.

Okay.

But, wait! There’s more…

Birthplace of Route 66, the Mother Road. And I saw Pandora’s Box in the men’s room.

Kernut the Blond Posted on by

Seligman, Arizona, a small rural town, is known as the birthplace of Route 66. It’s full of Route 66 memorabilia.

Territorial Jail House in Seligman, Arizona

Reportedly held notorious outlaws that they didn't teach us about in school. And the evening news is worthless as usual. Thanks for nothing, FOX.

Along with a few themed restaurants and shops, there is the old Territorial Jail House from 1860. At one time it housed notorious outlaws such as Seligman Slim, Four-fingered Frank, and Carl “Curly” Bane. (Don’t feel bad. I don’t know who they are, either. Sorry, Dead Guys, but it’s been 150 years.)

While researching my trip, I’d read somewhere “not to miss Pandora’s Box” in the men’s room of The Roadkill Cafe.

Of course, a place named The Roadkill Cafe sounded like a good place to eat, anyway. And I was on a mission to find this Pandora’s Box in the men’s room.

When I walked in to the restaurant, three friendly ladies greeted me. I inquired about ‘Pandora’s Box’ in the men’s room. They all gave me blank looks. No one knew about it. Well, none of the ladies. Not so sure about the men.

I began telling them how I’d heard it was in the men’s room and ‘not to be missed’.  But, wait! There’s more…

Huge phallic rocks, fertility gods, castles, and vortices. Love, Sedona.

Kernut the Blond Posted on by

How can you not love a town with castles, energy vortexes, fertility deities, and huge phallic rocks?!

Sedona, Arizona has everything a traveler could want. Well, travelers who like men.

Ahem.

Shall we start with the spiritual stuff, and work our way down? Err, I mean south. Wait, scratch that. NO, NO, don’t scratch that!

Moving on…

Energy Vortexes

Sedona, in case you’ve never been, is known for its spiritual and metaphysical community. The town has four energy vortexes, places where you are likely to feel energy coming up from the earth.

Whether it was the suggestion of such or an actual spiritual experience, my friend (the one I connected with while standing on a corner in Winslow, Arizona), and I both “felt” something. (Now, now. Remember we’re talking about the spiritual stuff here.)

This is a view of Sedona from the top of the Airport Rd Vortex.

View of Sedona from Airport Road Vortex

Me: I felt it, did you? Him: *dirty laugh* I felt a lot of things.

Kokopelli, the Fertility God

Every where I looked there were tributes to Kokopelli, the fertility deity. Although, none I saw were depicted with the large phallus as mentioned in Wikipedia. Too bad.

And the World’s Largest Kokopelli is in Camp Verde, Arizona where he watches over cars in a parking lot. Seems a bit undignified for a fertility deity, don’t you think?

But, wait! There’s more…

Get Your Kicks On Route 66, Part One

Kernut the Blond Posted on by

(cue Nat King Cole)

If you ever plan to motor west,
Travel my way, take the highway that is best.
Get your kicks on route sixty-six.

It winds from Chicago to LA,
More than two-thousand miles all the way.
Get your kicks on route sixty-six.

Remember how I went to that dinosaur museum in St George, Utah and they didn’t have any dinosaur statues?

I know why! The dinosaurs have all run away to Route 66.

Dinosaur at a rock shop in Arizona

This is how it started...

Route 66 is a long treasure-trove of the wonderful, goofy, and uniquely odd sights in America: Dinosaur statues, Wigwam Motels, 2.9 million-year-old alligator in Arizona, Longest Map of Route 66, Standing On A corner In Winslow, Roadkill Cafe, etc.

Who thinks of these things?! Oh, how I love this country and it’s quirky marketing ideas!

Here’s how the advertising pitch must have gone:

(First) Rock and Fossil Store Owner: I want help promoting my rock and fossil store. What do you have for me?

Advertising Agency: We’ll get a few of those large, fake dinosaur statues and place them out front. People will come from miles around just to see your rock and fossil store!

Store Owner: Umm, do you mean those big dinosaurs that look like cheezy replicas of Godzilla? But, wait! There’s more…

Grand Canyon North Rim, A Spiritual Experience

Kernut the Blond Posted on by

This post is a slight departure from my usual. The Grand Canyon’s North Rim being one of the most beautiful places I’ve yet seen on my travels, I feel it deserves reverence.

North Rim of the Grand Canyon

North Rim of the Grand Canyon

Words can’t express the emotions that wash over you as you stand on the edge of these expansive vistas, hearing only the occasional bird and the rustle of the wind.

Peace, tranquility, and serenity come to mind. But even those descriptions feel somehow incomplete. Magical? Humbling?

A picture is worth a thousand words, and a few feelings, too. Rather than try to tell you about it, I’ve created the photo slideshow below. And below that is my video of the North Rim set to relaxing music. Take a little time from your day and enjoy the peace and serenity. (to see the slideshow and video, click the following link… But, wait! There’s more…

Standin On A Corner In Winslow Arizona

Kernut the Blond Posted on by

There is a park in Winslow, Arizona called “Standin’ On The Corner”. You know I couldn’t make this up.

*cue Eagles “Take It Easy”*

So I had to go and stand there.

(Link to Standin’ On A Corner/Route 66 t-shirt below!)

Standin' on a corner in Winslow Arizona

Standin’ on a corner in Winslow Arizona

While I was standing on the corner in Winslow, Arizona a guy oh Lord on a sweet Harley slowed down to take a look at me.

And then we had dinner.

True story…. But, wait! There’s more…

Mollie Lost Her Nipple In Purgatory But I Found It

Kernut the Blond Posted on by

I found Mollie’s Nipple on the way to Purgatory. I can only assume Mollie is walking around with one nipple.

Mollie's Nipple in Huricane, UT

“Mollie’s Nipple” in Hurricane, UT. I have no idea where the other one is. I hope Mollie still has it.

It’s a butte named “Mollie’s Nipple”. Makes you wonder if Mollie was a popular saloon gal back in the day. Or if she lost one in a bar fight.

Have you ever see a 100 year-old fruitcake? No, no, I’m not talking about an old gay guy. Geez, people. I mean an actual fruitcake. Found via RoadsideAmerica.com at the Hurricane Valley Heritage Museum, it was originally a four-layer wedding cake. Not sure when they ate the two missing layers, but unless they ate them with a hammer and chisel, it wasn’t anytime in the recent past. But, wait! There’s more…

I Found Zombies In A Ghost Town – The Apocalypse Beginneth

Kernut the Blond Posted on by

The zombie apocalypse beginneth, people. Be prepared.

I knew I was getting closer to my destination when I started seeing zombies.

Zombie Miner, Calico Ghost Town

A zombie miner. I swear he said "braaaainnss" as I walked by.

You probably aren’t aware the apocalypse has started because the zombies are beginning the invasion in the middle of nowhere. You know how in apocalyptic movies they always show the survivors flee to some barren wasteland?

Yeah, that’s where I was. In the middle of a barren wasteland.

And so were the zombies. (Of which I had more photos, but they sucked. The photos, not the zombies. Vampires suck.)

Like a shriveled, dried-up oasis tucked amongst the ubiquitous tumbleweeds and dust I saw the rustic timbers of Calico Ghost Town rise out of the nothingness.

A thriving mining town in 1881, Calico, just outside of Barstow, CA, is now home to nine zombies – err, I mean people. I suspect they ate 31 of the original 40 residents and have lived off the brains of lost tourists ever since. Except for the zombies, this place really is deserted. Well-kept, but deserted.

My first real attempt at a video is below. Sorry, my audio overlay needs work. Since you can’t hear me doing the voice-over, this is what I’m saying: But, wait! There’s more…

I’m On The Road And Headed For Hell

Kernut the Blond Posted on by
Danger: Zombies and Ninjas and Lasers And Shit

I needed one for my RV, so I made one. Bumper sticker available at my Zombie Life Is Good Store for under $4. (click photo to go to store) http://zazzle.com/kernut*

The Great RV Roll-About Begins…

While continuing my efforts to pitch The Great RV Roll-About to anyone who might listen, I pumped the TV station’s film crew for info and tips. They said I should make some videos first, then pitch it to the TV station.

Oh.

Ok, I can do that. So with my usual brilliance of forethought and planning, I’m starting The Great RV Roll-About by traveling to the hot bed of funness known as St. George, Utah.

Yup, I really thought it through.

Since mere months ago I was on my way to Hell in a hand basket, I thought I’d finish the job by heading for the hottest part of the country on September 21. At the same time as the Senior Games start and every person over 50 with an RV is in town.

There I go again with the thinking and the planning.

Actually, this is the first major thing in my life that isn’t planned. Case in point: When I was in my late teens I decided I would get married at 27. No, I didn’t have a fiance or a boyfriend of any note. That was just “The Plan”.

Yeah. It never happened. Not only did it not happen by age 27, it hasn’t happened in the many years since.

As Patty Punker put it, this time “I’m flying without a net”.

What this really means is: But, wait! There’s more…