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I Brought Sand To The Beach

Head in the sand.

My sister, Chickenbone, once told me ‘Don’t bring sand to the beach.’ Me: ??? Chickenbone: If you’re single, don’t bring a date to a party. Me: (still) ??? Chickebone: …where there are single men. Me (a minute later): Ohhhh. (the light bulb isn’t always super bright, folks) . . . → Read More: I Brought Sand To The Beach

Social Media, Jobs, Spam, Sex and Dating – Maybe not in that order

Blogging Cat

This is me. What, you thought I was human?

When I’m not here, you probably think I’m out having an awesome social life, on a date, or having sex.

Sadly, no. It’s been about a year since I had a boyfriend – and he was really lousy in bed. Come to think of it, so was the one before him.

But I have been discovered – by spammers.

When I’m not here blogging (and deleting spam), I’m over here writing about Social Media (and deleting spam), or here writing about sexy stuff.

That is, when I’m not at my new job!

Yes, it’s true folks – I am no longer a government-subsidized cube dweller. I have escaped the padded cell, a.k.a. the cubicle from hell.

(Believe it or not, I didn’t get fired for asking Guy Kawasaki if he had a single brother for me. Truth be told, by then I had already given notice so there would have been no point in firing me in my last week. Heh heh.) Don’t stop now! Continue reading Social Media, Jobs, Spam, Sex and Dating – Maybe not in that order

The Rain In Spain Falls Mainly…

This kind of weirdness permeated the entire trip. Permeated it like a thick black tar. Not unlike the crap washing ashore in Louisiana and Santa Barbara right this moment: That oil-drilling residue tar that just sticks to you and is damn near impossible to remove. Ever have that shit stuck on your feet? It’s hella hard to get off. . . . → Read More: The Rain In Spain Falls Mainly…

Dating Advice From The Unqualified

Here are 5 Dating Tips… 1. Coffee dates are the kiss of death. . . . → Read More: Dating Advice From The Unqualified

Sexual Confidence: Can You Handle It?

Mirroring: one of the methods practiced in Tantra.

Do sexually confident women scare men or is this an attractive quality?

Really, I want to know. My sexual confidence and security has intimidated more than a few boyfriends. It’s a running theme. And, sadly, the older and more confident I get, the more I seem to intimidate them. So it’s not like it’s going away and I have no intention of squashing it.

But I’m about ready to give up all efforts at finding a match.

Before you let your kinky imaginations run wild… I don’t even get a chance to bring out the whips and chains before they get scared (read: ‘sudden loss of interest below the waist’).

I’m kidding about the whips and chains. Kind of.

Seriously, I’m not even a screamer, much. I just enjoy sex and am not shy about it, or talking about it.

Is that intimidating to men? Don’t stop now! Continue reading Sexual Confidence: Can You Handle It?

Internet Dating FAIL, Part 2

FINALLY, after a few rounds of “What’s your favorite fruit loop flavor?” eHarmony reveals the pictures to me. . . . → Read More: Internet Dating FAIL, Part 2

Internet Dating FAIL, part 1

Oh, it gets better. His face was orange. Yes, ORANGE. He’d used a low-quality tan-in-a-bottle to enhance his pasty skin tone. Unfortunately, BLENDING was not his strong point. Dear readers, he was a rookie at the fake-bake usage. . . . → Read More: Internet Dating FAIL, part 1

How Not To MySpace (or Facebook)

Ok, but only if the hookup is in your pickup, Baby.

Dating Advice for Social Media from my MySpace blog in 2007 (a time when I was much more jaded than now – if that’s possible). While originally about MySpace, much of this also applies to Facebook.

MySpace made me über jaded about dating. It’s all MySpace’s fault for letting those horny 20-somethings send me the most ludicrous requests for a date (read: hookup). It’s really hard to take men seriously after receiving requests like those below.

But I’m all better now.  heh. *twitch*

How Not To MySpace, Part 2

Acknowledgment: “Part 1” was written by my friend Steve. His gave me the idea for the following article. His article, How Not To MySpace should be read. And followed. Verbatim.

Making Friends – and keeping them: Don’t stop now! Continue reading How Not To MySpace (or Facebook)

'Why are you single?'

Can you say "Photoshop"?

They ask, ‘Why are you single??’ or ‘Why haven’t you been married??’

But when they ask, with face half turned and narrowed eye, the tone says: “Is there something wrong with you that I can’t see??” (Uh, not trying to hide it. At all. Pay attention.)

Or it sounds like “How could you even WANT to be single? Isn’t it scary?” (Nope, kinda nice actually. I don’t have to check in with anyone before I go somewhere and my scissors are always where I left them. How about you? Do you know where your scissors are?)

I am asked this all the time. All. The. F’n. Time. The frequency with which I get asked that question never ceases to amaze me. Nor does the unending curiosity. Seriously, even I’m not that interested in my own status.

Speculating what makes certain people so curious, I’ve observed the following… Don’t stop now! Continue reading ‘Why are you single?’

When Lost in the Crenshaw District of L.A., Sacrifice The Blond

Jessica Lang in King Kong 1976

In an effort to end my, shall we say discomfort, Kahlil decides to speed up this catastrophe and ask directions from SOME RANDOM SHIFTLESS PERSON standing on the street corner. But not just any corner – Kahlil chooses the corner on my side of the car. I’d like to know what’s wrong with his side of the bulletproof car? Oh, that’s right: Sacrifice the blond. That’s what they always do in the movies. . . . → Read More: When Lost in the Crenshaw District of L.A., Sacrifice The Blond